I agree with what you're doing hun, I think it's your last option right now. LOved your post about how you can't revolve the family around her, and that if there weren't a billion other things going on right now you would be more capable to deal with her

I reckon as long as there are set rules at this woman's house (which you said you will be making) and your DD's mate's mum knows what she's in for, and I agree with others, she pays her own way (because it's the real world) then it could be just what everyone needs.