Thanks to everyone who has responded and I would like to read more as well.

I am about to start counselling but DH refuses to have any at the moment. I have to admit that I feel an amount of guilt for even considering and talking about this. DH does know that it's something I'm thinking seriously about and we've started discussing how we would divide things up if it happens. I have also decided that I'm going to wait until my job is more secure (by March) before really making any decisions. DH did ask if I wanted him to move out of our room and into the spare room. I'm not sure yet. I do love him...when things are good, but with his depression and dependance on marajuana there is no real warning before a bad period, it just happens and he's very, very snappy, verbally and emotionally abusive and I am left feeling like it's all my fault and like a shell of a person often crying myself to sleep in the foetal position. He doesn't understand why I can't just get over it when he does. Each time this happens it takes me longer to recover emotionally. Our last major blow up was about 2 months ago and I've still not recovered emotionally and this is the longest it's taken me to "get over it" and I'm still not "over it"