You are feeding her with breastshields aren't you PZ? Cos i'm assuming, you only use a breastshield, if feeding from the breast is not happening. I've never bf with shields, but i'm assuming, it's a bit harder, you have to get used to doing it with accessories, so right there, that makes me think - you hit a challenge, you didn't give up, you found an alternate way and have and are giving that your all. Just so Isla gets her liquid gold. Not everyone would and could do that.

Isla will never remember, when she's an adult, the state of your home, how many times she got pushed around the block, but she WILL have better health chances, because of your choice to perservere with bf-ing her.

When she grows up, she will understand, how hard it must have been, for you to leave your partner and move house, with a nb baby - that is a massive thing to do.

There are the bare basics in life
- you both get fed (you have LnE organised, she has bm)
- you both get cleaned
- you need clothing to wear (and launder)
- she needs you to manage her outputs, deal with the nappies
- you both need love and human touch (cuddles)
i'm guessing you already meet all these basic needs for I and yourself, so in my book, you're doing the most important stuff.

Many things you can avoid in this time, of feeling like you're not coping
- paper plates to use for now, to save washing up
- think about shopping online for groceries, if going shopping is too much right now
- ask your X or mum to clean your wet areas (bathroom, loo, kitchen) once a week for you, for the next month (unless you can stretch to a cleaner)

(i did none of these when i had PND, i was too overwhelmed to even think of these solutions, i can only think of them now, cos it's been years since i had a nb, and i've since met and talked with many women who have had PND, and they shared what got them thru - the paper plates made me LOL - i always had paper plates in the house, never thought to use them at the time, just got more and more depressed by every kitchen counter being covered in dishes needing to be washed, cos i was too unwell at the time, to even stand up in the kitchen and do anything.)

i am so impressed that you, even when feeling down, can come up with solutions like the L and E one. Instead of living on weetbix and iced coffee for the first year, like i stupidly did.

You are stronger than you know PZ.