Failure

[PumpkinZulu]

I'm so sorry PZ. I hope you get into your GP tomorrow. It's a good thing that you can recognise the signs. I didn't know your history when I said it was normal to cry. I'm sorry for that x

Don't be sorry, I appreciated it! It could very well be normal, could be PND...could be AF, I just went to the toilet after having a few small cramps to find blood, light but there. Wtf?!! I only just stopped bleeding a few weeks ago

Thankyou all so much. I am scarily low atm. However I will make it through the night and to the GP tomorrow. I called panda. I have support, I should be okay..

[TeniBear]

if i had petrol in the car i would be there xoxo

Same, aside from the petrol thing. I do have petrol so if you want me I'm there. I doubt you do, but I'll just put it out there. You're doing the right thing by getting help And don't beat yourself up about asking him to watch DD for you - he's still her dad.


Sent from my iPhone so forgive the speelung misstacks

[Glamourcide]

Oh honey I so wish I could be there with you right now to help nurse you through this... it's so unfair that you're feeling like this when you should be on top of the world
Babe, I know your history but I also want you to know that what you're feeling right now isn't uncommon in new mums... it's great that you recognise your body's distress signals and you're going to get help with it asap, but please, please don't be so hard on yourself. I have battled depression for years and was going so great until DD1 was born, then despite DH and I living with my parents (so having pretty much unlimited help 24/7), I was so close to suicide because those post-baby hormones are a mah-fuggin' biatch... throw in what has happened between you and B, and moving house, and all the other stuff... it'd take a statue made of stone not to be deeply affected, hun. Please don't beat yourself up - right now, Isla needs just to be changed and fed and someone with her, anything else is a bonus. I'm glad that you've asked B to help care for her for at least a few hours, please just hang in there honey. Get on the phone, ask someone to come and just sit with you... just please hold on. It does get better, I promise. And you are NOT a failure.
Go gently, hun. I'm sending you all the love and strength and comfort that I can. If you need me, let me know - I'll be there in a second if you want me there. Love you. xx

[Emma09]

So sorry you are feeling like this...
Please reach out if you need some company.

[prama]

dear pz,

so sorry hun.. i had pnd with ds and it was the same. i didnt even bond w him at the start and i was just fulfilling the basic needs. i felt like a pretend mother, i didnt even feel like a mother. it took a while to bond with him and it was so so hard.
please talk to your gp or ring panda.
i wish i was closer.. xoxoxoxoxo

[OceanPrincess]

PZ, I'm free Tuesday morning. Let me know if I can do anything for you. Anything. You have many friends on here who will lend a hand...

[Butterfly Dawn]

Big from your baby buddie group

X X X

[*LittleMissSummer*]

Babe, PND sneaks up on its victims sometimes without any warning. Having my DD should have been the happiest moment of my life, i had everything i ever wanted and then some. But i just couldnt stop the crying or the thoughts. What helped me through was realising it wasnt my fault, it was nobodys fault. Life sometimes just gets too much for us to cope with. It may not be PND but just everything getting on top of you. I am glad you called your XH he should be there to help with your DD afterall you are feeling this way because of what he did. Are you staying with your mum, i hope there is someone there with you looking after you.

More \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ even DD gives her love too lol

[Footsteps]

still thinking of you huni xxx

[YoYo]

Thinking of you PZ. You are not a failure at all.... Reach out to people and let them help you xx


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk - I wonder what the kids are up to....Better go!

[Shades]

Thinking of you.

[SunnyRain]

Hello pz, I heard you were having a rough time. It sounds very very rough. I can't imagine how lonely and desperate you feel.

Don't worry about isla, at this age all she does is eat, poop and sleep so it's a good time for you to take the time to sit in bed and cry.

Having your first baby is the most overwhelming thing, nothing in this world can prepare you for it. You could read all the parenting books in the world, but the moment your baby is born your entire life is turned upside down and inside out.

Many many women suffer from pnd, something like 1/4 of all mums. I did with my first child. I struggled with complete insomnia and just cried constantly. The only thing I can offer you is that I found a psychologist through my gp and the mental health care plan and soon after that I felt normal again and started enjoying my new life as a mum. So don't underestimate the power of a good chat with a professional.

You are going through a relationship breakdown and the dramatic life changing event of having a new baby, added to the fact you now have a little person entirely reliant on you so you are feeling so much pressure. Anyone would feel exactly the same as you do in your situation, so you are NOT a failure, you are merely human.

You have the entire human race in common with you.



Sent from my Desire HD

[kelebek]

just checking in to see how you are this morning PZ

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

hun, you are NOT a failure, you are doing what you feel is right for yourself and your daughter and that is the most important decision to make.
I hope you can get into your GP and you can get some answers and start to feel as strong and amazing as we all know you really are.
Take your time, 1 foot in front of the other and don't rush yourself, being a new mum is HARD WORK and add on any other stress and your bound to be a tearful mess, if thats what you need then CRY AWAY.
I'm not going on my trip now until maybe the w/end, if i go on Friday then i can still drop in that stuff and maybe we could have a quick coffee if your up to it, if not then thats fine too.

we're all here for you hun.

[BeautifulMadness]

awww you are not a terrible parent.

as parents we have been through it...gosh even now i still do

[OceanPrincess]

How are you doing PZ? Thinking of you xxxxx

Please please let me know if you'd like for me and my crazy kids to come for a visit tomorrow, or if there's something else I can do to help

[Mak]

PZ - big hugs hun. I think most of us have had moments of feeling like this - it can be a hard gig especially when things are not going as you had hoped.
Please take care of yourself as much as possible. Let me know if you feel like a coffee/walk tomorrow as we are about too. Happy to talk or not, whatever you feel up to.
xxx

[Mad Scientist]

PZ, did you to get into see your GP? Hope today has been better xx