Father Paying/Contributing Expenses During Pregnancy, and Legal Rights.

[krysalyss]

Hi there! Did I read your signature correct? That after 15 months of TTC, you are now pregnant and your (now ex) partner is acting like this?!? Unbelievable. I really feel for you. I think you should at least look into your options. A bub is quite expensive with nappies etc and he has responsibilities. I hope for your sake it doesnt get any nastier than it already is. You are totally correct when you say he has his priorities wrong. I hope someone here can help more with the legalities.
Big hugs.

[Trillian]

You can't force someone to put their name on a birth certificate and if he does't sign it, then legally his name can't be on it (or else anyone could put anyone's name on it kwim?) which is really frustrating, but not much you can do about it except hope that he changes his mind. As for child support, well he has to pay, but if he is this much of a d1ckwad already then chances are he will shirk paying for anything the CSA (child support agency) makes him pay.

Also, I don't know what your financial situation is, but if he hasn't signed the birth certificate then it also has implications for getting a full entitlement from Family Assistance too.

Divvy would know more about this.

[Amity]

Disclaimer: THIS IS NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR INDEPENDENT LEGAL ADVICE.. PLEASE OBTAIN INDEPENDENT LEGAL ADVICE PERTAINING TO YOUR INDIVIDUAL SITUATION.


You can claim childbirth expenses from the father of your child pursuant to the Family Law Act 1975. You can also claim maintenance for the childbirth support period (but watch out, if you do get a maintenance order this will affect your Newstart/FTB A & B even if he doesn't pay). You can get a DNA testing order after the baby is born, again pursuant to the provisions of the Family Law Act.

Basically there is nothing you can do until after the baby is born. Make sure you ring the Child SUpport Agency straight away after baby is born so that you can have your Child Support backdated to the original date you applied for it.

Get legal advice. Soon.

[Amity]

Oh and I forgot. Check out your local Births Deaths and Marriages (state level) as to whether you can just nominate him as the father and he has to "opt out". Some states have "opt in" where the Father has to sign the certificate, some have "opt out" where you nominate him, they send him a letter and if he doesn't respond within a set time then he is nominated as the father and HE has to do something to have his name removed from the birth certificate. I can't remember which state you're in or whether it's opt in/opt out, so check again with your independent legal professional.

Hope this helps.

[briggsy's girl]

kailz, i can't omment on the legalities of making the father pay for things before a child is born - in all honesty, i've never heard of i and don't know how it would work. it sounds like something that would be EXTREMELY difficult to do legally as you can't prove paternity before a child is born (well, not without invasive testing that can be harmful to your baby) - but having said that, i really don't know for sure... i would think that legal aid would be the ones to have the most accurate answers.

as for after the birth, whether you want to follow up on financial support from the babies father or not, the government will, in most cases, tell you that you have no choice. family assistance payments for seperated parents are restricted dramatically if you don't at least attempt to claim child support for your child. now, if he's being an idiot about admitting paternity (hold onto the AVO application as this can be used against him), you don't have to get his name put on the birth certificate. you can approach legal aid and they will help in the legal hoopla in proving paternity (hence the AVO thing - he's put on there about you carrying his child so it can be used as evidence). if you choose not to pursue it, your maximum Family Assistance (pt a) entitlement is cut from a bit over $140 a fortnight to less than $47 - and you'll lose any rent assistance...

pm me if you want any more info - and i'll answer your questions directly if i can. i would suggest calling the Family Relationships Advice Line, Legal Aid and Family Assistance and get your head as clear as you can about where you're going once your bubba arrives... discuss the implications of going through the child support agency and him deciding not to pay, how it impacts you etc. there is a lot of information to get your head around to make sure you've got time - and don't let the people hang up til you're sure you have your answers!


as for the grandmother - personally, i would make contact BEFORE bubs arrives. write her a letter so that it''s non-confrontational. say that you understand that she may have reservations about having any sort of friendship/relationship with you due to the breaakdown in your relationship with her son, but for the sake of her relationship with her grandaughter, you're making an effort before her arrival. you don't want to deny her access to her grandchild - and you don't want the breakdown between you and XP to impact your daughter's chances of knowing her grandparents. there are two huge reasons for this - reason one being that your child really does deserve to have her grandparents in her life - reason two - grandparents have legal rights to access to their grandchildren. if they're denied access, they can take you to mediation, court - it can get messy - and that's the last thing you want if you can make an amicable relationship with her before bub's arrives. keep a record of all correspondence as a back up for yourself, just in case things DO turn nasty - that way you've got a way to show that you tried to make an effort

and most of all - remember that you need to take care of YOU. yeah, getting his help will help financially, but he sounds about as mature as any tanty-throwing five year old, so really, you're doing this solo, and you need to do what is best for you and that little bubble growing in your belly

good luck

BG

[Amity]

*snap* BG LOL!

[Trillian]

Div, in NSW its definately opt in for the birth certificate.

[Yael]

My DH works for the CSA. When he gets back inside (from hanging out the washing ) i'll get him to post in here, in regards to birth certificates and child support

[Lulu]

Ok, my sister just went through all this so I'll give you the short version -

IF he is still being a twat after bubs is born, and you have made it clear you expect him to sign it, you send in the birth cert signed by yourself.
They will contact you soon after asking why it is not signed.
You give him his details (name, address), they will take it from there and you don't have to worry about chasing him.

SO you call the child support agency (the details should be on any Clink forms you will get), and let them know his details and that you would like them to collect on your behalf.

THEN you give all bubs details to Clink (for your FTB and Baby Bonus), you let them know you have taken action to obtain child support, they will liase with CSA and you don't have to worry.

AND you still retain full FTB entitlement, and the CSA will stick the child support in your account - no fuss, no muss.

good luck with it all, sorry he is being such a tool.

[Kailz]

Thanks for all the responses... I feel as if I'm banging my head against a brick wall

Sometimes it's nice to just let it all out!

Yael - That would be very kind of your DH! Thank you xx

BG - Thanks for taking the time out to help me

LuLu, Divvy, Ash & Others - Big Thanks too