how can fathers be so heartless?

[widdly]

thanks guys

lu, thanks for the advice, he is such a ****! Archie actually said to me through his tears, "I just want my daddy to love me". It just ripped through my heart

[Lulu]

daddy does love you *make all the excuses in the world and look like you mean it*

A GF said that to me once - 'wait till he realises you aren't coming back then watch how much he f**cks the kids around". And it was true. So I didn't let it get to us both and exH came right around realising he was missing her - nothing to do with me and me leaving.

If you can - try to draw in the greatest MUMMYness you have in you, and that is to protect your baby. This actually means that you will have to go against what you feel like doing (smacking the tool over the head).
When you talk to him about Archie - pump him up about how important his is as a father, how Archie thinks he is the greatest and how he looks forward to seeing him, how he wants ONLY daddy to do certain things etc etc etc.

This must be done without guilt tripping (even though the **** deserves it), give him confidence, let him know NO ONE can replace him and he is one little boys HERO.

Cos then he will be.

xoxoxo

[Floweryfields]

TBH if ex was drinking with his mate, I don't think it would've been the best environment to leave your son with him anyway, even if he was going straight to bed. It stinks that he isn't more responsible, but some me just are....

[rfm08]

thanks guys

"I just want my daddy to love me". It just ripped through my heart

Your heart wasnt the only one ripped through,,,i read that just then...your poor little man, a child should never have to say that big hugs to you and your boy

[widdly]

thanks lulu, that is exactly what I have been doing as hard as it is. I make sure Archie is never around when I talk about XH. I know what it was like for me when Mum left Dad, he was awful always calling her names to us and it really had an awful effect on my childhood, I dont want that for Arch. I realise that all I can do is be the absolute best Mum I can be and hope like heck that XH decides to be a decent Father.

ausgirl, I agree, I would never leave him with a drunken Father, but he is staying at my Uncle's house so I knew my Aunt was there anyway so he would have ben perfectly safe and looked after.

rfm, thanks hun x

Maybe I shouldn't have, but I sent him a text last night telling him what Archie said about loveing him, I thought he needed to know the effect he is having on his baby boy.

[Trillian]

Lulu summed it up pretty well hun - it isn't anything to do with Archie at all. FWIW though, I'm 31 and still trying to work out why my Dad is STILL a jackass to us after all these years All you can do is keep making the excuses so he never sees you saying a bad thing about him, but come in here tell us what you wish you could tell him - it could be quite cathartic for you

I hope he's OK now and that you don't ever have to hear him say anything like that ever again

[Epacris]

Lulu has given you such great advice. Be strong for your DS and vent in here as much as you need to. Lots and lots of hugs to you from me

Your XH is a knob!!!

[Inanna]

Awww honey that's awful...

Lulu has given you the best advice (I tried repping her but I had to spread the love...)

This is about punishment, immaturity and "twatdom"...

I am just so sorry that little Archie is a pawn in the game.

Sending you masses of hugs and love...

[~Kim~]

He's a tool Elissa, I nearly cried when I read that.....
Poor little guy.
Well done Babe, you are doing so well.