i think, an equally valid option is not to go out, without your nb, just yet.

it's individual for each person, but the first time, you leave your baby with someone else, it's a big deal for many mums.

If you are lucky enough to have a Gran, who knows your baby well, and abides by your style of parenting AND you feel ok about leaving your bub with that person - all power to that.

But after reading all those posts, about "leave the bub and go out", i just want to add, that is not the ONLY option.

You really have to do something YOU feel ok about.

Going out somewhere, with support e.g your mum coming too. E.g in the day time, so no cold night air for your newbie.

Going out somewhere you and your DD

Going out somewhere, by yourself, leaving nb with trusted person, maybe building yourself and your baby up to it. E.g one hour the first time, two hours the second time, three hours the third time, or for the length of time she goes between feeds, whatever suits your DD.
It
Tailor this to YOU and YOUR BUB. not what has worked for other people, but what suits your new family.

If you are ready to have time away from your bub, that is fine.
If you are not ready to have time away from your bub, that is fine.

There are things you can do, being with other adults, that involve babies too.
Sometimes when i felt very shy and overwhelmed (when bilby was tiny), having bilby with me, was a conversation starter, it was actually a help to have her with me, because then it took the pressure off me, to have to talk about me. So much easier to talk about your child (well that's how it felt for me anyhoo).

- playgroups (as long as they're not huge)
- aba groups
- community centre classes for new mums
( i found a craft class - for mum - at one near me, when the babies are tiny, you bring your child into the class. Once they are ok to be in a creche, you leave your child in a creche that is 20m away, they come and get you if your child is unhappy) and it's a free creche. I never thought i would find anything like that, but i did. We all cluck over the nbs. Their mums don't get much craft done, but they sit and feed and chat, watch the others doing craft. Then they craft when baby is asleep, and if that doesn't happen, they have still gotten OUT, and chatted with adults. And get to go to the loo by themselves, drink a HOT coffee, as there are many willing people around to cuddle the bub.

i think it is harder once your bub is toddling, strangely enough, when baby is younger, because they are, wherever you put them, so many things are easier (shopping too).

hope i managed to make some sense in amongst all this, thinking of you PZ.