There is a difference between THINKING about doing risky behaviour, and actually DOING risky behaviour. Many people, when in very stressful situations, think, what the hell, doesn't matter - and then do some pretty self destructive stuff. Maybe, without Isla, in this situation (r'ship breakup), you might go do some stuff, but this time you didn't - maybe the difference is Isla.

Babies arrive and we assume, they need US, they need to learn so much.
But sometimes, we need THEM, and we can learn from what we go thru, being a mum.
(this is what i have learnt, from having a bub).

my DD didn't talk until three, i thought it would never happen!
i needed to learn patience, and boy, did i learn patience from that.
but in the meantime, from when she was a newbie, i was amazed how much we communicated just with eyes, looks, facial expressions. Watching them everyday, you notice all the differences, and the first time they communicate to you, that they understand humour, and are trying on purpose to make YOU laugh - it's priceless.

i hope you have a great time tonight, you are amazing to be in skinny jeans already!