hi all,
i'm farely new to bb, mother to a beautiful baby boy Ashton Mark who's 2 months tomorrow, only just joined a couple of weeks ago and havent had the chance to actually sit down for longer than 20 minutes, but i'm here now and i really need a rant about my stupid XP...
its been a long bumpy ride for me since i fell pregnant, the XP was never any help, even before i was preggers, i dont know what i ever saw in him, now that i look back i cringe at how bad my judgement was when i met him, i think i must of had the love blinkers on.... he was alright for the first couple of months, then we started fighting over tiny little things, most of the time he would pick the fight and i would bite the bait in an instant(stupid temper!). i would ask him to do things a million times and then he would get all uppy because i was "whingeing"... and we all know that i wouldn't be "whingeing" at him so much if he just got off his lazy ass and did what he was supposed to!
oh and dont get me started on his fricken lazyness! to give you a bit of an idea, 4 jobs in 4 months...every one he was fired from because he didnt turn up for work... no call, no message, nothing... and then he would get cranky at me for asking him to get another job!!
meanwhile, as the petrol keeps dripping on the fire... little did we know, baby ashton mark is but an egg slowly growing and growing... i found out i was pregnant about 4 weeks in... my period was 2 weeks late and i didn't feel right... so i took a pregnancy test and low and behold, test is positive! oh joyous me wat a catastrophy!
my first thought was that i couldnt possibly have a baby this young! not married! a good christian girl like me! i was so scared, i told XP and he actually took it pretty well... he just asked me what i wanted to do, of course i told him i didn't know, i had no idea! the decision whether to terminate or keep the pregnancy was killing me, i so badly wanted to keep it, i was so excited at the prospect of having a baby, but on the other hand i was only 20, hadn't even found my own feet in life yet and already i'm growing some more! it took me almost 2 months to make up my mind, meanwhile the fighting still remained, and began to get worse, we even took a trip to the family planning centre about a termination, they suggested we go get an ultrasound... so we did... and that was it, we both looked at eachother and just knew we had to keep this little miracle, that was the first time in a long time me and XP were really happy... that lasted about a week... then the dramas started... oooh the dramas...
but that is for another post!
stay tuned, ill be back tomorrow to right some more!

ciao
mel