Sound so tricky. Can you go to counselling by yourself? Perhaps if you go for awhile, then you might be able to ask him to go...

I really think the two of you need to sit down, if you haven't already, and figure out - is this worth saving? Because I think anything can be saved, but if you decide together to save it, then you commit to work hard together to save it. I really hope things work out for your best.