hmm we are in similar situations.... my feelings are on hold at the moment at request of my partner, to 'just get through christmas and the holiday season'... its very hard having feelings on hold especially when i feel i have come to a conclusion.... makes this a very awkward time of going along with things, it feels so false.. especially when people say 'oh you must be excited about your holiday'.... etc... i sorta think no not really i'm completely preoccupied...

my partner also has serious issues from childhood and is completely against counselling, i think he had an ordinary/bad experience and now has written the idea off for good.

i keep telling myself that millions of people break up all the time and its not the end of the world, in fact its almost the norm.... i keep telling myself that its not the end of the world....

i'm not sure how the hell we are going to negotiate finances though... i'm not sure what i'm entitled to... we recently had a mammoth once in a lifetime financial windfall that most only dream about and here i am about to walk away from it...

sorry i have just wrambled about myself.... completely self absorbed and preoccupied at the moment...

don't you just wish you could fast forward to 12 months down the track when all the hard icky bits are done and you are semi settled in a new life??