Wow, definitely a big day for you . It's amazing how freeing it is when you realise that it isn't all your fault. Emotional abuse is terrible and much more subtle than physical abuse.
I don't know if there is any way you can convince your DH that he is emotionally abusive. He might need to come to that in his own time? The best thing you can do is remember that everything is not your fault. By doing this you are taking away his power over you. You stop believing what he is saying and therefore stop letting it get to you. I think once he realises it is no longer working, he will most likely stop doing it.
I am no expert, just speaking from personal experience .
I hope today becomes a huge turning point for you .
Hi Widdly, You are so so brave. I can't even imagine being in your position and the way you have handled everything is amazing. What an assertive, brave and respectful person you are.
It is a hard road that you have travelled and I wish I had some advice for you. I only hope that your DH comes to his own realisation about his behaviour and the effect it has not only on you right now but on your DS and the lessons he will learn about relationships. Big hugs to you. Will be thinking of you.
Widdly, will he go back and see that counseller and have an individual debrief with them just like you did, for some strange reason, some men need to be told by an independent when they are in the wrong, just won't accept what we say...
You had to know I would be in here cheering for you.
In answer to your questions though TBH I reckon it's like giving up smoking or losing weight (only way more serious) - they have to acknowledge it and want (genuinely) to change.
However - the whole money thing might just be an indicator that it is dawning on him. No-one wants to think that they are the perpetrator of DV - what an horrendous tag. It will take lots of digesting and mulling over on his part.
I am proud of you though. That is a whole lot of big things to deal with in your head.
Oh my goodness Gorgeous Widdly, you sound so free in your post. What a weight that has been lifted off your shoulders. You sound lighter, relieved, stronger in this post. What a big day of realisations, but wow! The way you are handling it and the effect it is having on you & your self esteem is joyful to read.
I really hope that your DH goes to the counsellor & works through his issues. I'm very glad that he has taken the first step of managing his money & making sure you are covered. That's a good sign.
Anyway, lots of these , a big round of this and as always on BB one of these for good measure.
Fantastic! You are doing you both a favour and you are conducting yourself so graciously Definitely shaping up like a successful intervention, so best wishes for this process
WOW thankyou so much everyone for your support, well wishes and advice
Trish - yeah, I need to work hard not to let him abuse me anymore, I realise it will be easier said than done, but going to the counsellor weekly will help guide me.
Kim - interesting you say its like losing weight and giving up smoking, both things DH has tried and failed at countless times over the years....hope thats not a sign...
krysalyss - i hada panicky thought this arvo that DS is learning about relationships by watching the abusive way his parents have been interacting, scarey stuff, thank goodness this realisation has hit me beofre its too late.
BooBoo - I have told him for this to work he needs to see the counsellor and have her explain all of this to him in a way that he can understand otherwise he can never fix his abusive ways. He agreed to that seeing the counsellor was a good idea but he wasnt very enthusiastic about it.
thanks again guys, now I need to go and research emotional abuse and understand it more so I can ensure I break the cycle
Best of luck to you, sweetie. You are an amazing lady to have stayed strong and not let this break you down. You sound so much more free in your first post, so much more positive, optimistic, and looking forward to what the future has in store for you
I wish you all the best on your journey from here - today has obviously been a major turning point for you and I hope your DH takes your hand and walks with you on that path, and seeks help of his own in order to make the road a much smoother one for the both of you. Looks like he's taking steps already, I really do hope that this is a wake-up call to him as well and that once he absorbs it, he turns into a whole new man - the DH and daddy you and your LO deserve!
xo
Your doing so well, your DH is in for some tough times and I'm sure he'll hit rock bottom at least once or twice, and you'll probably have to let him too (ack, tough love!). But my Mum has always said she took a couple years of crap in order to have 20 more years of a wonderful marriage, so it can work out. You can do it babe, best of luck xo
. It's amazing how freeing it is when you realise that it isn't all your fault. Emotional abuse is terrible and much more subtle than physical abuse.
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and as always on BB one of these 
for good measure.
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