WOW!

Last week DH and I had relationship counselling which was great for us. Today I had my own session with the same counsellor. After a lot of talking with her, I cam e to discover that I am a victim of domestic violence! In the past my sister has said that she tinks DH is an emotional abuser but I dismissed her.

DH abuses me emotionally and financially, just like my Dad did to my Mum. I now know that we follow an abusive cycle constantly.

Of course when I came home and enlightened DH to all of this he got extremely definsive and ended up storming out, not before reminding me that he loves me (emotional abuse right there!).

I went to see my sisters and talk things through with them and they were so amazingly supportive. Then DH rings me and tells me he has organised for a budget company to take his pay each fortnighta nd pay all his bills, pay me CS, save money and give him spending money. That is HUGE for him to do that. That is gonna take so much stress of us. He can no longer financially abuse me at least.

DH doesnt understand or believe that he emotionally abuses me, he turns everything into my fault/my responsibility.

I also came to the realisation that I dont and never did have PND!!! That is so important to me. My depression and anxiety came from DH's partyinga dn drinking ways while DS was a baby/toddler, it didnt come from me not bonding with my DS or anything, DS and I have never had a problem, the problems have been with DH and me. When I tell DH his drinking attributed to my depressiona dn anxiety he retorts that my PND caused his drinking problems....and cue emotional abuse.

How do I get him to wake up and realise and acknowledge that he is emotionally abusing me and always has? I have told him that he needs to get his own counselling otherwise he will never be able to have a uccessful relationship with me or anyone else. He has said he will, but I refuse to take his word for anything these days, I only trust his actions not his words.

So, wow, a big day of realistations for me