victim of domestic violence

[Smoke Jaguar]

Fantastic! You are doing you both a favour and you are conducting yourself so graciously Definitely shaping up like a successful intervention, so best wishes for this process

[widdly]

WOW thankyou so much everyone for your support, well wishes and advice

Trish - yeah, I need to work hard not to let him abuse me anymore, I realise it will be easier said than done, but going to the counsellor weekly will help guide me.

Kim - interesting you say its like losing weight and giving up smoking, both things DH has tried and failed at countless times over the years....hope thats not a sign...

krysalyss - i hada panicky thought this arvo that DS is learning about relationships by watching the abusive way his parents have been interacting, scarey stuff, thank goodness this realisation has hit me beofre its too late.

BooBoo - I have told him for this to work he needs to see the counsellor and have her explain all of this to him in a way that he can understand otherwise he can never fix his abusive ways. He agreed to that seeing the counsellor was a good idea but he wasnt very enthusiastic about it.

thanks again guys, now I need to go and research emotional abuse and understand it more so I can ensure I break the cycle

[Glamourcide]

Best of luck to you, sweetie. You are an amazing lady to have stayed strong and not let this break you down. You sound so much more free in your first post, so much more positive, optimistic, and looking forward to what the future has in store for you
I wish you all the best on your journey from here - today has obviously been a major turning point for you and I hope your DH takes your hand and walks with you on that path, and seeks help of his own in order to make the road a much smoother one for the both of you. Looks like he's taking steps already, I really do hope that this is a wake-up call to him as well and that once he absorbs it, he turns into a whole new man - the DH and daddy you and your LO deserve!
xo

[widdly]

donna thankyou so much hun, you are very sweet x

[smiles4u]

... hey Elissa wish i could give you more then this simple post but just wanted to pop in and at least you give you a big hug, so here it is

(can't believe our bubba's are going to be 4 soon ... they themselves have helped us to open our eyes to see what we didn't see before !!)

[megs]

Widdly I just wanted to write and say Congratulations, it does sound like you have had a weight removed from your shoulders.

I speak as a victim of emotional abuse from a very controlling father, funny the baggage you carry with you. I have only just come to the relisation that I think I need to see someone about it as I think it effects my behaviour in my marriage. I tend not to stand up for myself enough I think their is a subconcious fear of what might happen (even though DH is lovely...most of the time).

I hope you DH keeps taking small steps to acknowledge his behavious and to hopefully change. Did your DH grow up in a environment where he was a victim of emotional abuse?

[widdly]

Lorelle - thankyou sweet woman x Big 4 year olds! I have been researching how to build a dinosaur cake...he couldnt want somwthing simople could he?!

Megs - thanks for sharing My father is an emotional abuser too so I have a long history of it which is probably why I fell into the same trap in my marriage I definately think DH could be the victim of emotional abuse, his mother is not part of his lofe anymore cause she is just strange and selfish and his fathers side of the family are Italian, they pride themselves in emotional abuse! Good for you for acknowledging that counselling may benefit you.

I am about to go and learn more about emotional abuse, arm myself with knowledge.

I find myself feeling disconnected from DH since these big realisations. Like, he will want to touch or kiss me and I cringe a bit, or he says he loves me and I dont want to say it back. I feel like he is my friend but I cant treat him as my husband atm? Anyway this is all stuff I will chat to the cousnellor about next Wednesday