Lorelle - thankyou sweet woman x Big 4 year olds! I have been researching how to build a dinosaur cake...he couldnt want somwthing simople could he?!

Megs - thanks for sharing My father is an emotional abuser too so I have a long history of it which is probably why I fell into the same trap in my marriage I definately think DH could be the victim of emotional abuse, his mother is not part of his lofe anymore cause she is just strange and selfish and his fathers side of the family are Italian, they pride themselves in emotional abuse! Good for you for acknowledging that counselling may benefit you.

I am about to go and learn more about emotional abuse, arm myself with knowledge.

I find myself feeling disconnected from DH since these big realisations. Like, he will want to touch or kiss me and I cringe a bit, or he says he loves me and I dont want to say it back. I feel like he is my friend but I cant treat him as my husband atm? Anyway this is all stuff I will chat to the cousnellor about next Wednesday