Hi Mel.. I just read over my first reply (which I only got halfway through writing..) and realised it sounds like I was saying you should push for the bio father's involvement more so than push for your current partner's involvement. So firstly, just wanted to clarify, coz that's not what I meant to say. When I said "that's what I'd probably pursue most - for the biological father to take an interest in his son" I meant over and above child support (at least initially), not over and above a continuing relationship with your current partner. Then if he's going to be an a$$ about it and refuse to see his son, I'd start to think about persuing child support.

It sounds like you are doing all the right things to achieve involvement of the bio dad. At the end of the day, he may just refuse to be involved, which would be sad for your son, but if you've done everything you can to encourage it, no-one can ask more of you than that. Of course it'd be nice for your son to have a relationship with his biological father, but it does take a lot more than DNA to be a father.

Which brings me to your current partner. Is he going to keep seeing your son long term? Will he have access visits? Will your son continue to call him dad? I would encourage this if he's in the right headspace for it. If bio dad doesn't step up, he will at least have a father in his life who loves him and is involved. I guess it could be hard for your partner to do this now that your son turns out not to be his, but it also sounds like he is being understanding and supportive of you despite the fact that you're breaking up, which makes me think that he's emotionally mature and a person who does the right thing by others. I could be wrong of course, but if I'm right, he sounds like the kind of person you'd want in your son's life. Even if they are not bilologically father and son, they are emotionally father and son, and if he's willing to continue that I would really encourage it.

Must go again, DS is calling.. you're doing a great job of managing the situation. BBL