Toilet training general chatter

[BellyBelly]

With disposable nappies of today being more absorbent and comfortable for toddlers to wear, toilet training is taking a little longer than it used to. This doesn't mean there aren't things you can try to see if your toddler is ready or to help them along. Below is a post made by Pinky McKay during a live Expert Chat which was made about toilet training a toddler, which is great advice I thought I would share with all of you. Remember, just like walking, talking and all other everyday functions, we all started doing it at different ages, but we all end up doing it eventually! However if you are genuinely concerned at the development of your child, you should always see a doctor.

Here's Pinky's great advice:

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Toilet training is easier in warmer weather and usually when kids are over two - it wont be long!

I simply bought my girls pretty knickers (undies like Dad for the boys) , showed them and said "when you can wee in the toilet like mummy you can wear pants too"

Darling 2 & 1/2 year old wasnt the least bit interested until one day we were visiting a girl I had worked with some years previously (BC) and missy decided she would wear her knickers - insisted in fact! She told me she would definitely wee in the toilet.

When I got to friends house (I had never met her partner) partner was VERY strict on their kids (she had always been really easygoing at work) and the house was spotless.

Darling girl disappeared - I thought - no! She will be creating a piddle puddle somewhere and Ill be in deep poo!

When I found her she was perched on their potty chair and weeing - pants down and all!

I realised she was probably afraid of the big toilet (it hadnt been an issue with the boys) - after that we rarely had an 'accident" she just wore the knickers.

My point is - toilet training is a bit like eating solids etc - when your baby is physically ready it is very easy and no power struggles are required. Let her follow you around, take her napopy off outside and let her "get" the sensation of weeing and connecting that this is happening - this needs to happen before she can anticipate that she is about to wee.

Also with tots in "disposables" toilet readiness can be later as they dont experience the discomfort of being wet - so there isnt that as an incentive.

Pinky

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[Tracey]

I also have a tip that worked for me with DD.

I noticed when my sister introduced my nephew to the potty & big toilet at around 2.5 yrs, it had been a foreign thing simply introduced one day & he was petrified of the potty & hated the flushing sound of the toilet..

From this I learnt to buy DD a pretty potty, she was about 6 wks old & I just left the clean potty around with her toys etc & so as she got older she was aware of this thing, once she could sit up by herself, I used to make her toast & sit her on a bunny rug on the potty each morning in front of the TV, the majority of mornings she would do a wee & often a poo too, she was never afraid to sit on this thing, yet my sister months later was still having trouble..
Then when DD could crawl & started walking holding on to stuff she'd get the potty & bring it to me saying poo's, often she'd sit on it6 & do nothing, but she knew what it was meant for, she started walking around 10 months & would carry the potty to me often & she'd be bare bummed with a spilling wee in the potty.
I was actually told off by the Health Centre Sister as she said I was forcing her to be toilet trained which I definately was not, DD loved saying "YAY!" & watching Me pour it into the toilet, we'd wash it out & pop it back near her cot!
DD was always in cloth nappis as well, but a bout a month prior to her 2nd birthday she was totally toilet trained DAY & NIGHT! I encouraged her, but did not force her & did not at the age of 2+ just introduce something & expect her to use it!
I hope this helps someone else in the toilet training Dept!!!

[butterfly*kisses]

Hi!

A little trick I used with baby 1 and baby 2 was to routinely put them on the potty (from about 6 months) after a sleep, and generally they would wee.....which would be very exciting for us and baby. We gradually increased the regularity of visits to the potty as they got older.

When they were sitting up strongly, we put the potty on top of the toilet seat (when closed). Eventually moving to a toilet seat when appropriate. We never had any problems with fear of the toilet, and infact, baby 1 was day toilet trained by 19 months, and baby 2 by 17 months! Here's to baby number 3!

It's a great feeling to have your toddler fully trained when other parents are still changing nappies around you.....especially the dirty nappies! yuk!

Good luck.
Xxx [-o<

[elcee2006]

My point is - toilet training is a bit like eating solids etc - when your baby is physically ready it is very easy and no power struggles are required. Let her follow you around, take her napopy off outside and let her "get" the sensation of weeing and connecting that this is happening - this needs to happen before she can anticipate that she is about to wee.

Also with tots in "disposables" toilet readiness can be later as they dont experience the discomfort of being wet - so there isnt that as an incentive.

Pinky

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I so much agree with pinky, my daughter is 2.5 yr i've been strugling to put her on toilet training and i think she's not ready yet, oh well hopefully she is in next summer. thanks for the tips pinky.

[Tobily]

Thanks for that, great tips!
DD is 18mths and so far we just sit on the potty before bath time - she runs to the potty as soon as her clothes are off but I think she's still totally in the dark about what she's supposed to do on it! She sits there for a minute, gives a big grin then hops off and into the bath.
We're not pushing her but I'm not quite sure where to go from here so the above is very helpful

[tammy03]

I agree flea, i am in the same boat. My three year old Odie knows all about the potty and toilet, he isn't scared of it, he is getting to know when he wants too wee but he still has no idea how it connect the toilet with the wee. I hops he does soon, i am so sick of changing nappies

[louise B]

Hi my name is louise i have an extremely determened three year old girl and she is just refusing to use the toilet and stop wearing nappies, its gotten worse since the birth of my second baby who is now almost one! Does anyone have any sugestions?

[johT]

i reckon bribing/rewarding with chocolate works pretty well for the over 3's!

[jmxox]

i know this is going to sound gross... but for a while now, we let ethan watch as we go to the toilet (not that he lets us lock the bathroom door anyway, he's always screaming to be let in to know what we're doing in there).

so he knows that the toilet is for wee'ing and poo'ing and on warm days, we give him heaps of nappy time and heaps of opportunites to go to the toilet. oh, we've got one of those little seats that is placed on top of the big toilet. sometimes we're lucky and sometimes we're not... and after many many wet carpet puddles... ethan is finally understanding when he needs to go. he'll approach either of us and say "shhh shhhh" to imitate the sound of wee coming out.

it's going pretty well.... but i just wanted to ask any parents of boys... when toilet training, when did you start to teach them to stand up and wee? when we're out and about, and he approaches me with the "shh shhh" sound, i take him to the toilet and stand him up on the seat but he's never done it that way before. will he learn with time or is it something daddy has to teach him?

[~*Milly*~]

Hi everyone,

I am another one with a very determined 3yo... From about 18mths old she has told me if she has pooped and would either take the nappy off straight away afterwards or she would take it off just before and then do it on the floor

But since having my next baby 8mths ago she is refusing to sit on the toilet or potty. She is great at telling me when she is either doing it or just done it (wee that is she won't tell me with the poop anymore) and I've been trying to get her in just knickers thinking the feeling of it will make her wake up sooner or later but she just tells me "Mummy I'm doing wee's" she won't tell me beforehand...

I have had PND so I haven't been overly consistent like I know I should have, but it has been hard. I think I'll introduce Chloe earlier and try her on the potty now... even though she isn't sitting I might do the 'every time she wakes' thing and see how we go... When she is sitting on her own I'll try it as well...

Thanks for the tips... I'm just hoping my 3yo wakes up soon! I've tried the bribing with stickers, toys, chocolate and so far nothing has worked so I'm hoping that by having gotten her these 'dora' knickers she will not want to wee or poop in dora... She just did a wee and I said that Dora was sad that she made her all wet and Dora would be much happier if H did wee in the potty... but we will wait and see... I'm waiting for the warmer weather to try and see if that helps running rudies

[chickenlittle]

Oh Lord it helps to know you're not the only one doesn't it? My 3yo girl is the same... doesn't want a bar of it! We have also tried bribing with chockies, stickers, holding a special toy, wearing special knickers. She'll sit on the loo (sometimes) but nothing happens. SHe tells us she's done a wee in the loo but nothing comes out. We tried putting her in undies once and she just kept weeing in them and then sitting on the couch/carpet/wherever completely undeterred by the wet! We went through 5 pairs of undies and 5 pairs of trousers that day, in the space of about 2 hours, so we just stopped and decided to try again later.

Like Pinky says I'm hoping one day it will just click!

[alioops]

Every time I go to the toilet I take Sarah with me and take her pants n nappy off n put her on the potty while i'm on the toilet. she hasn't done anything in there yet but i think she is starting to understand what it's for. she will walk up to the change table n have a tanty there till i come and change her nappy so she knows when she has done something. practice makes perfect hey?!?!

[Charlyfrog]

What a relief to read all these posts as I am sick of being given funny looks when I have to change my 3yo nappy! It's not like we haven't tried but she just isn't catching on and its so hard as I am still bf and so its kinda tricky to jump up mid suck to catch the deposit!! Even though we are doing potty trips the wee/poo is held until the nappy is back on so am relieved to read that I'm not a bad mum, its just what some little tykes do...........and I really need to relax!

[Zoesmummy]

Hello Everyone! I would love to hear from anyone who has any suggestions for toilet training a strong minded and determined 3year old little girl! My daughter Zoe is 3 in Feb and has no interest in toileting. She is utterly terrified of the toilet... wont go near the potty and is determined to stay in nappies...even to the extent of changing her own nappies to avoid me encouraging the use of the toilet! She says to me "I wear nappies, not undies" "I will not go toilet". I have been a childcare teacher for the past 5years and have always worked with the toddler age group (15mths - 2yrs)... most of my children at work were toilet trained by 2 1/2 or well on their way at least. I find it hard not to compare but its hard at times not to. Im beginning to become very frustrated with myself as I cant work together with Zoe on this, she just does not want to have a bar of any toilet talk.... and dont know where to go from this point.. I feel I have tried everything!
Feeling a little hopeless right now... Help :-)

[lermshell]

Finally some people who will understand where I am at!
My son was three in January. My DH decided he needed to be toilet trained even though he has never shown the slightest hint of knowing whether he is wet or dirty, despite my tricky substitute of the cheapest nappies you can get so he would feel the discomfort. We have been going through 6-8 pairs of pants each day for a week! We have Bob the Builder, Thomas etc...he doesn't care. When I say he should have gone to the toilet he just says 'yeah'.
He is my fourth boy and all of them trained themselves, they told me they needed to go and that was pretty much it. I think this one was born without feeling in his nether regions. Even when he is dirty he will say "no I haven't done a poo" and try to run away when I want to change him. We too have tried rewards and his brothers tell him they go to the toilet, all big boys do. We have had the odd wee on the toilet but he still is surprised when he goes in his pants. He really has no idea!

[~breeze~]

OH THANK GOODNESS i FOUND THIS THREAD!! My daughter will be 3 at the end of April & I'm due to have baby #2 in August. I REALLY wanted her toilet trained before #2 arrives as I've been told not to toilet train through "big events" (moving house, new baby etc)

Practically all of the other kids we know DD's age (mothers group, ante-natal group etc) are all toilet trained & I feel like a bad mum when they see DD's still in nappies.

People always take it upon themselves to be the proffessional & tell me that she should be toilet trained by now.

My MIL is one of these, she has the best intentions honestly but when she's around while I change DD's pooey nappy she says "oh you dirty girl". So I try not to change nappies at their house (a bit hard when they babysit though!). I don't want DD to think pooing is "dirty", it's natural & everyone has to do it, it's just most people do it in the toilet. She can't help it that she's not toilet trained yet so she HAS TO do it in the nappy. I felt so sad for DD when MIL said that but I don't think DD heard her (thank goodness).

I'm trying the toilet training again today. She does her wee then comes to me calling "Mummy, I done a wee wee". It's soooo frustrating!! & I even try the bribes but it just doesn't seem to work.

I'm so glad I'm not alone when it comes to this problem but I do hope I can have her trained soon..... (for her sake as well as mine!)

[jovi]

Thank goodness I thought that my DD was getting way too old to be in nappies at 2 1/2 when all her cousins and friends are toilet trained. She will sit on the toilet (with a trainer seat), flush the toilet but will not do anything on the loo. She will stand up off the toilet to do anything...and will get really upset if I even try to put her back on. Have tried the knickers and she will just take them off. Am now expecting #2 in Nov and would desperately love to have her trained before then. I guess its a matter of patience and time but any hints welcome.

[jellybeankell]

my daughter meredith who is almost 5 has been toilet trained during the day for over 18 months now all is going great with that, she has been dry over night for a little over 3 months now up till the last week when she has wet almost every night, what to do any ideas anyone

also benson who is almost 3 has no interest in toilet training at all he loves wearing jocks but seems to have no idea at all when he needs the toilet i ave tried taking him every half hour or so and he does nothing and yet within 10 mins i can go check on him and he will be wet through are boys normally this hard cause meredith was so easy to train