Does your appearance reflect who you are?

[AnyDream]

I've had some moments of late when I look in the mirror and I wonder if other people see the same 'me' from the outside that I see from the inside.

Do you think your own physical appearance reflects who you are? Are you comfortable with the way you look?

[Phteven]

No. I look pretty boring but I like to think I'm wild at heart.
I've found it really hard to find a style that expresses who I am since I started wearing the scarf and since the boys arrived even harder to find the time. Just trying on clothes seems like an effort with a child in tow and I used to be so fussy about the perfect fit. I barely wear make-up now.

I feel quite depressed now I've thought about it.

[Indadhanu]

Hmmmmm, I'm not sure. Actually I've thought about this today, since I shaved my hair off last night. People say it looks really natural, like it's who I am. Makes me wonder, since I have had long hair since I was a child. What is my appearance is relation to me? Am I now 'showing' who I am, have I been 'wearing' a mask in my appearance all this time? Am I changing, hence the change... so many quesions... That doesn't answer but at least you know that I know what you mean.

[Willow]

I'm a bit like Onyx, I feel like I look a bit more boring than I really am. Well as I perceive myself to be anyway I was growing my hair out, just for a change, but I just felt sooooo boring and mundane that I went and cut it again and coloured it.

Must be hard when you can't really use your hair in that way Onyx, because it's covered?

Days like today when I'm at home with the kids all day and haven't been anywhere and I'm just wearing jeans, a hoodie and my chuck taylors I don't feel like I look like I really am, but I just don't have the time to put the effort in...or to do the shopping...or the money to buy the stuff

My sister and I were just talking about this the other night. We both like stuff (clothes, shoes, bags etc) that is a little different, a bit unique. But we now find ourselves pausing a lot and asking 'are we too old for that now? Is it a bit too 'out there'?' We are both in our early 30s, she is 2.5 years older than me. But we both still feel like we're 20!

[mummato1]

Wow, now that is weird.... I was only just wondering the exact same thing this morning!!!

I was getting ready this morning to take DS shopping and I was wondering how people perceive me based on how I look / what I wear / how I act.

I have been told in the past by a few people that they were scared of me before they got to know me.. I think its because I am quiet, I like to watch and take it all in.. It takes me a long time to get to know people, and I am often very incomfortable in social situations. I think I come across sometimes as un-friendly, but I am not at all.. I am shy and most of the time I dont know what to say!

I think the way I dress does reflect my personality.. I am pretty conservative on the outside but I do have a fun side. For example I stick to simple jeans and black clothes most of the time. But underneath I am full of colour!! My underwear is usually bright : ) I think its because of what I said earlier, I just want to fit it and keep things simple.. but really I would to stand out but I am too scared too..

My DP is a completely different person to how is perceived from the outside.. People think my DP is a yobo, and in a way I guess he is... but that he his mask, its his way to fit in at the footy club etc. In reality he is very insecure, sensitive and very very sweet.. He has a huge heart, and love his family and friends very much.. I often think its a shame that no one knows the 'real' him.

[Willow]

I have been told in the past by a few people that they were scared of me before they got to know me.. I think its because I am quiet, I like to watch and take it all in.. It takes me a long time to get to know people, and I am often very incomfortable in social situations. I think I come across sometimes as un-friendly, but I am not at all.. I am shy and most of the time I dont know what to say!

Wow, you have just described me perfectly! I am exactly the same and have experienced the same thing pretty much all my adolescent and adult life. I must admit though, I got to my mid twenties and just went 'Scr*w it, this is me. If people can't take the time to let me be comfortable and get to know me properly, then it's their loss'. It still bothers me when it happens, but nowhere near as much.

[Bathsheba]

I think about this all the time. I don't think I look like the person I am. For a start I don't look Anglo even though I basically am... bar 1/8 Swedish blood. I have near black hair. Taxi drivers are always asking where i come from... "you no Aussie... you Greek? Italian?" When they insist I am not Anglo i say... "well apparently i look like my Swedish relatives..." they totally reject that.... Swedes are meant to be blonde everyone knows that

I also don't look like I particularly belong in a Mother's group... I look too complicated i think... i don't look all soft and maternal. Just my perceptions.

When i was a kid in primary school i wore glasses. The kids decided this made me look smart and called me "wise one"... or "Oh Wise". Either that or the usual 'four eyes'. But i wasn't wise... I had very poor social skills... so shy and inept at reading situations... naive to the point of it being a joke... and particularly slow in maths. Maybe it was then i realised you should never read a book by it's proverbial cover... or trust what people labelled you.

[mummato1]

Really! How funny.. good to know its not just me then Yeah I know what you mean.. I try not to let it bother me but every now and again it does. I am more comfortable with the fact that thats how I am.. and I do have some fantastic friends who know the real me and thats what counts at the end of the day.

OMG Bathsheba.. you just hit the nail on the head for me too!! I have the same thing happen to me.. I am of irish / english heritage, but I am about 5th or 6th generation Australian and I am ALWAYS asked if I am Italian or Greek because of my dark hair and olive skin. A greek lady came up me at the supermarket and started talking to me in Greek and I had no idea what she was saying.. turns out she thought I was too!! I have also been told to go back to my own country

[Willow]

I do have some fantastic friends who know the real me and thats what counts at the end of the day.

So do I, and you know that's what made it easier for me to deal with. They took the time to get to know the real me and they are wonderful friends, so I can't be all bad right?

[luna moth]

Not at all, and I love that. I love that there is a lot more to me than what you can guess by looking at me. I love that I break stereotypes - definitely don't look like your average vegan greenie. Except for the bike that is almost permanently attached to me

[~TT40~]

I think my hair and clothes say exactly who i am..

I went to a private school and had to wear a full uniform, have my hair a certain colour and a certain style, no makeup, no nails no NOTHING for 6 years. So I started finding my own style very early on. Mainly clothes, but then moved to hair styles and colours.
Im a pretty 'real' person tho...pretty much what you get is what i am...I don't wear makeup...i think it makes me more natural...more our there if you get me...like im not hiding behind everything
but at the same time...its like there is just more and more behind each layer...now i sound really up myself..sorry.

so basically, im proud of my style and me and who i am, and i wouldn't want to hide it for anyone!!!

[~Kim~]

hmmm sometimes I guess....yes.
I learnt a long time ago that just cos fashions were current, didn't mean that they had to be worn, and wearing what I loved made me feel more comfortable, and therefore more of me came out IYKWIM?
In relation to physical stuff yes I think it does. The wrinkles starting for form around my eyes (despite years of good face clean/moist/high SPF) show that I like to smile and laugh, my sometimes crazy curls definitely reflect me, yet sometimes they are sleek and polished, my eyes are green and a bit different, just like me.

Yes I'm comfortable in the way I look, but it was a looong loong time coming. I'm comfortable with me, the whole me, and the way I project is a part of that. Like you MD I often wonder though if what comes across as perceived by me, is what others see too though.

[Ilithyia]

For me...No.

I am often told by people that I am not what I first appeared to be. A lot of people say that when they first me they are intimdated by me! Gosh knows why!

I've been told on several occasions that people view me as "rough" but find out later that I am far from that.

I know that I do guard myself religously when I meet new people. And I don't give all of myself right away.

I have days where I am satisfied with my appreance. And I have days where I think I am fat and ugly. Satisfcation generally outweighs dissatisfaction.

As I get older I try to take better care of myself and do things which make me feel pretty and feminine. Some may see it as vain but I now like to go out with my hair looking nice and with eye make-up on. I wear clothes that flatter my figure which I would say is fuller and voluptuous, but also make me feel pretty or sexy.

I guess at the end of the day as long as you are happy with who you are and what you look like.....thats all the matters. F*ck everyone else. We are all individual and thats how it should be!

[Winter]

Not at all. I have hair that I can't do a thing with so have it cropped short & its platinum blonde at the moment. I wish I had jet black straight hair but it's never going to happen. I'm short & muscular rather than the tall, slinky supermodel I see in my head! I would really love to be classic but just can't seem to pull it off, tends to end up a bit dull or quirky. Having said that though, I do like being confident in my skin. Confidence is sexy as hell & I like to think that whatever I wear or look like, if I walk around as confident as a pea**** then people will buy it

[BekZ]

I guess people would see me as a boring SAHM, because that is what I look like and I am boring!!! That sounds really poor me. but that is honestly how I feel atm.

[Epacris]

Yep, I reckon, with me, what you see is what you get. And I always wear sensible shoes (the only exception is weddings) and I think I am a very sensible person. And perhaps boring too (and possibly not so sensible at weddings ).

The hugest of hugs to you MD and anyone else that needs them.

[Claire_A]

Yes - it took me a long time to get here, but now, what you see is what you get! It took me travelling overseas by myself in my twenties to really become comfortable in my own skin and style. I always hung out with 'alternative' (for lack of a better word) people and I guess I always felt I never lived up to other peoples style - iykwim? When I travelled by myself I learnt that people liked me for who I am and I returned with a true sense of myself. I can change my hairstyle often but I always have a real sense of 'me' if that makes sense?

[nickle730]

Hmmm... yesterday I wore Bond's trackies, a hoodie, no makeup and started the day with wet hair as I washed it in the shower. I took the kids to school, shopped for groceries and cleaned the house. I think the way I looked reflected who I am... a busy mum who has more important things to do in the morning than spend time in front of the mirror.

Today, I had an appointment with my OB. I straightened my hair, put on a bit of makeup and wore jeans with a nice top and some low heels. I looked very different from yesterday, but I think my appearance still reflected who I am.

Tonight we went out for dinner and I applied slightly heavier makeup and wore slacks with an evening-ish top and heels... I'm beginning to feel like I have multiple personalities!!

My point is, in any of those three outfits I would have been perceived differently by a stranger, but I am still the same person and I feel comfortable with that regardless of how my exterior looks. I have been told by people I know that when they first met me they thought I was a snob until they actually spoke to me (but that I am not at all!!). I think (hope!) that is a perception of material belongings more than personality... I wonder if I looked like a snob in my trackies with my hair everywhere, or if someone else pegged me as a bogan?!

I think my appearance does reflect who I am... because I am many different things. This thread is an excellent reminder to not judge a person by their appearance!