all of the sudden i am out to steal everyone's man?!

[widdly]

Why is it that as soon as your partnered friends realise you are single, they all of a sudden feel extremely threatened by you??

Last night I was at my bestie's birthday party. Of course I spent most of my time on the dance floor, and my bestie and her brother danced the night away with me. My bestie and her brother are like family to me, i grew up with them. The brother's partner was all happy that we were dancing together at the party, til she over heard me telling a friend that my marriage was over. WELL, LOOK OUT! She was at me for the rest of the night about trying to steal her man! I mean this guy is like my brother, trust me, I wasnt stealing ANY body.

I chose to look at the situation and take it as a compliment, obviously they think I am attractive enough to be a threat, so yay for me

I told my Mum about it and she said that when she left my Dad she lost most of her friends cause they all felt too threatened by her!

Why is it that we women take any chance we can to turn on each other??

[Inanna]

Big cuddles. I personally haven't experienced this but I have heard about it happening. I don't know why some women feel so threatened - just be you, respect the boundaries (which you no doubt do) & hold your head high. Cuddles again.

[widdly]

thanks hun, i will, and no there was definately no crossing boundaries going on, i could hardly see the boundaries i was so far away!

[Inanna]

It's their stuff not yours honey. I'm glad you had fun though!

[Catastrophic]

O that sucks hun~ But like you said in a way a nice compliment :-)

I was accused of stealing My mums friend's husband when I was 17 - Just becuase I was young, single and we got along... It didn't get any better when he stuck up for me one night either "rolls eyes"

Don't stress too much hun, it's not your fault that she is insecure. You did nothing wrong xoxoxo

[isharathena]

I agree, she's just insecure.

[Nettie]

It's their stuff not yours honey.

:yeahthat: Don't let their insecurities change your natural behaviour...

[widdly]

nettie, that is great advice, thanks

Yeah she is insecure for sure, luckily she is not part of my usual social circle

[Cherished]

That's really interesting! I have not experienced anything like that due to not being in that situation. Maybe all those female friends who are married are jealous that you are a strong independent woman now who is attractive! Yes YAY for you hon I have to say though that when I met my husband I grew apart from all of my single friends who were my best friends for almost 10 years. There wasn't any falling out so to speak and I wasn't threatened by any of them... we just weren't at the same place anymore. Maybe your female friends don't relate to you anymore, before you were married and they all knew where they stood? Ahhhhh, sigh's I don't know, woman are so strange sometimes. In your case it may be hard for her to see her man have such a great relationship with another woman (you) and to share a close bond with someone other her.

[MantaRay]

Hun, that's not fair

How interesting that she would think you wouldn't respect the sanctity of her marriage, but that if you were still married you'd respect the sanctity of yours. Really, I mean if you are after a married man (which I know you are not!!), then why would your own married status stop you? Hopefully she'll realise how silly she was when she's had some time to think about it.

[kelebek]

I agree it says more about them then it does about you. I also think some woman believe you need a man to be happy so if you don't have one then you must be after theirs

Take it as a compliment and don't take on anything else, you don't have to justify yourself to anyone else.

[sweetbabymumma]

I must admit I was once in a place of a jealous girlfriend. My single friend was spending time with my then-boyfriend, calling him on his mobile, asking for favours, meeting for lunches.. And would never tell me about it, so I was finding it out from here and there bjut mostly from the boyfriend himself. When I confronted her she was so surprised, she never thought it would matter to me, she was just being a friend with my man. Hmm, that's great and all but I were rather she'd back off. Insecure? Yes, definitely. But I think it needs to be respected as she, as her partner, must always come first. Sorry, just my opinion..

[Glamourcide]

Oh, you gotta watch those single girls, they'll take yo' man right out from under ya! :/ God, some people need to grow up. Like you're any more likely to go running around on people when you've got a partner? Or is it that having a man in your life = keeping you on a short leash? Hmm. As others have said, says more about the jealous person than it does about you, especially if you guys all being friends is totally okay when you've got a partner, but suddenly *not* when you're single! Try not to take it too much to heart, it's their issue to work through and you haven't done anything wrong. I guess in a way it's a compliment to both of you - that you're awesome enough to bag a bloke who's already taken, and that he's so great he's worth stealing

Sweetbabymumma, I can totally understand your feelings, I've been there myself (although in my case, the single friend WAS pretty notorious for getting her claws into other people's boyfriends, she never seemed to be interested in a guy until he was spoken for and then it was on like Donkey Kong - but she had her own issues with insecurities and attention-seeking so we just learned to keep close eyes on her), I can definitely respect that I sort of take the safest path, in that I don't talk to my (very few) male friends 'privately', everything is really public (eg I avoid MSN convos and instead have public FB comments where everyone can see what's been said) and I go through their partner/my DH first if I can so that nothing looks hidden... maybe it's dumb but I hate the drama so I go to the ends of the earth to avoid it

[sweetbabymumma]

I go through their partner/my DH first if I can so that nothing looks hidden...

That would've totally saved my relationship with that friend. But unfortunately she didn't understand, and I had to end our friendship. Crappy situation, I know..

[Cassius2]

argh that sucks! but like everyone has been saying this is her insecurity and NOT a reflection on you on who you are. Also it's funny because friendships can go through challenging times when a situation changes. i know that i have experienced ups and downs based on things like relationships, jobs, babies etc. but is always a good chance for reflection and solidifying of rock-solid relationships and in some cases a good chance to 'clear out the stables' so to speak.

hopefully this reaction by your friend was just a storm in a teacup and once she gets used to the idea of seeing you as a different person (ie without husband) she'll settle right back in and you guys can get back on track.

[widdly]

sweetbabymumma, I have been the jealous girlfriend too hun. XH bestie was a woman and she was always trying to turn him against me and be awful to me and make me look like i was making a mountain out of a mole hill. I ended up getting her to confess that she in fact loved XH and wanted to marry him and have his babies. Their friendship ended there and then, without me interfering. It is awful when that happens so i feel for you.

cassius, she is no friend of mine, she is my bestie's SIL thats all, my bestie had her birthday at her brothers house so the SIL was there. I would never choose to be friends with such an insecure drama queen.