Pregnancy after LT TTC #17

[onthefly]

Welcome to the Pregnancy after Long Term TTC forum. Finally you have gotten over one big hurdle - pregnancy after long term trying to conceive! Pregnancy that follows can often be very nerve-racking or may involve more monitoring than other pregnancies. Discuss your experiences and thoughts here.

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Here's wishing each and every one of you, a happy and healthy pregnancy!

Congratulations...

[grub17]

well i'll start by sayin my second GD test came back very good !!! yiiipppeee. going to go supervise a chocolate now!!! hope all are well ox

[Aimee]

Hi everyone

grub - great news on your gd test!

I had my scan today - it was at a new place I've never been to before and they were so thorough and the sonographer told us everything as she did it. Normally they don't say much to us and just take the measurements. It looks like we are breaking the blue trend with a pink bundle on the way . So happy she's healthy and looked just perfect!

Sometimes I find it a bit tricky as DH's dad has voiced that he is waiting for a male grandchild (from us) quite often and another family member was rubbing it in that our second baby was another girl . I don't really want my children to feel devalued because of their gender.......but I know they don't treat them poorly in the long run. The last baby we lost (before my ectopic) was a little boy at 13 weeks pg just after I had food poisoning. And we didn't have this baby for a specific gender, but I guess I still feel sad about it sometimes. I'm more than happy for a healthy baby I think I'm just dreading others comments...........I hope that doesn't sound like I'm whinging too much.

Kelly D - its hard not knowing what will happen, I bet you are on tenderhooks, but praying for a safe delivery for both babies!!! Hopefully they will behave themselves and stay put until you're ready! My DD1 was breech, and they still gave me a c/s when I was almost fully dilated (she was just over 5 pounds). But I'm sure its a bit more complicated with twins.

Dreamrise - Thanks for the info!

Mindhugs - Glad you're enjoying the maternity bra, my dh still can't figure out how to unclip the back of the normal ones so I don't think he's every attempted these.

Hope everyone has a good weekend!!!

[Kaybee]

Hello Ladies,

My computer has had a virus, so I haven't been able to get on here. Finally, I'm back. Have been reading the last few pages of the old thread and now can't remember who said what.

Aimee - congrat's on another pink bundle. That's awful that your family can say such hurtful things about your beautiful baby - hopefully it's just dumb comments that don't say anything about how much they will love her.

And Possums - Yay for a boy. I have to agree with um, was it grub? Boys are awesome - from my vast experience of one baby. I don't think I would even know what to do with a little girl. Congratulations.

Grub - nice work on the GD test!

On the food and food poisoning thing - I am also pretty over-cautious. I just think it took too long to get here to risk it. Not that people who didn't do ivf can afford to take the risk, but I am just so aware of how those tiny risks can become a reality. You know, a small percent of women have fertility problems (I'm one of them), a small percent are unexplained (me!), a small percent of pregnancies end in mc (me again) so if even just a small chance is there of getting listeria from eating something, then I bet it'll be me who gets it. Chocolate doesn't have listeria though, so I woof it down.

Kelly - jeez - a possible VB when you hadn't even though about it before! It's probably better than stressing about it for months like most women though. Breath ALL the way in and ALL the way out - might sound simple now, but it's not. Can't wait to hear your lovely, smooth, calm birth story. Good luck

Sorry - I am rambling so much! Just found out that I actually do have private hospital cover and so could really have a private OB if I want. Do you reckon it's too late? Or even worth it? I don't know. I hate decisions.

Thanks for the advice on placentas (was it you Possums??). I have read that it takes longer to feel them moving, so am just waiting calmly (sure). I went to the doc today, for something totally benign and pointless just so she might put the heart beat thingy on me, but she didn't. I was too embarassed to ask. God I'm a d**kh**d.

Anyway, still rambling. seeyas xo

[grub17]

oh kaybee never be embarrassed to ask! i learnt that this pregnancy. I was 10w5d when i had to go to a gp in my hometown who i'd never seen before to get a referral for the doc here in darwin (we moved when i was 8 to 14 weeks preg ugh what a hassel getting scans done etc)... anyhoo, I asked on the off chance if he had a doppler as i was feeling anxious etc... He went one better and gave me a sonogram. Not the best quality but we coudl see the bub and the heartbeat and it just made my day. He later said that he doesn't get asked much cos - bieng a country town - there aren't alot of ivf mums coming through but seeing as I was an old pro with scans etc he was happy to show me in other words, if more women asked, he'd give them one too!

on the private v public, personally for our 2nd i was happy to go public when living in Newcastle cos the big hospy there has a very good rep. Differnet matter here but fortunately i got inot the birth centre which sends us home about 4 hrs post birth. I just feel as this is my 2nd i'm probably going to want to be home with my darling lovely little Ashton and husband, rather than seperated from them. BUT i went private all the way for DS and it was great. DH could stay the whole time and we got lots of help... we didn't even know how to change a nappy lol

aimee - huge congrats on a little girl!!!!!! that's so wonderful and tell FIl to "shud upa ya face" lol. Sorry but I would not respond well if he said that to me so i think you've done well not to give him teh forks and a wtf. that probably doesn't help, but i'm sure once bub is here he'll adore her. all talk iykwim.

kelly - that is exciting that you may get a VB. I know you weren't mentally ready for that and i can highly recommend you read Juju Sundin's Birth Skills book, I found it helped me put in the right frame of mind and find that focus you need. Did you have a CS with Tara? i can't remember. I have heard of women doing a VB with one twin and CS with the other... not sure where tho but i wasn't surprised when i read your post. It must be getting a bit scary and a bit exciting for you now! I'm so glad you can stay in ballarat like you want tho! Sounds like you really have to give up any expectations and go with the flow. Anyhoo, i'm thinking of you!

Hope all our girls are doing well and bubs are doing great

ox

[TaRhLi.]

Aimee: Congrats on another pink bundle. I would have loved to have a houseful of little girls as I just love my little girl to bits.

Grub: Yay for your good GD results...mmmmm more chocolate.....

32 weeks today so we are now all clear for staying in Ballarat, I can tell you that is one weight off my mind so now just looking forward to my scan on Thursday as I think this will give me a much better idea of where things are at in the baby positioning dept. Oh, had a fantastic child free morning yesterday when I caught up with some mum's from our local Multiple Birth Association. Was just supposed to be morning tea at 10.30am but we all didn't leave until almost 2.30pm. I think that this group in going to be fantastic for us as they really like to include the other siblings as well.

Apart from that I'm just trundling along, my belly is now getting overstretched and I now have stretch marks around and under my belly button and my tummy is so itchy from it and it feels like I have a basketball between my legs which makes walking and sitting a very classy affair but on the home stretch now.... how much long will it be, we are thinking no more than 4 weeks to go.

[WeeMansMummy]

Just subbing to keep an eye on you lovelies

[dreamrise659]

Hi Aimee, Congrats on having a little girl. I find it quite ironic that a few women I know would love a boy and they have found out they are having a girl (or have just had a girl) and here I am I really, really, really want a girl and I feel 80% sure it is going to be a boy!!!! I have my scan in 9 days and I'm feeling really anxious. At the moment I can still hold out hope that I am wrong and it will be a girl but once I have that scan there will probably be no doubt (not that I want any doubt mind you).
When I was talking to a long time friend about finding out the gender she said "Oh, so you want to know?" I told her I NEED to know, becaue if it is a boy (as I fear) I will need that time to get my head around it and try to mentally prepare for it. If they can't tell the gender at this scan I will be trying to organise another one (even if I have to pay privately) because I really do need the time to prepare myself emotionally.

When I had my daughter I was a little worried about having a boy but hadn't had experience with boys so wasn't as worried as I am now. My ex had a baby boy and he was such a brat. I think this has turned me off boys even more. Even by 1 year old he showed a real aggressive streak. She also had a nephew who used to visit us regularly and he was a horror and I now look after 3 girls and 1 boy and the little boy (who is 5) isn't really aggressive or anything like that but he can be nasty to his sisters and I just struggle with him a bit (thank god I only have 5 days left with them now as this past week the little girls who are normally really well behaved have started to play up a bit - yesterday I had to give one of them time out 3 times and normally I'll be lucky to do it once a week).

Kelly, glad to hear things seem to be going well and your meeting with the multiple births association was so enjoyable.

AFM: finished the thrush medication but it is still slightly tingly (like how it started) so not sure whether I should be seeing the Dr about taking more or just wait and see. Coldsore hasn't come up yet - I've stopped eating chocolate as chemist said it makes it worse... so maybe that is helping?

Lori
DD-14

[Mindhugs]

OK - which one of you lovely ladies recommended stringy cheese to me a while back? I'M ADDICTED!!! The other day I went grocery shopping and had to keep pulling over onto the side of the road to open another one. It was crazy. Or perhaps the baby was telling me it needed some calcium

[grub17]

lol MH! mine addiction is strawberry flavoured milk... and chocolate.

went and bought a new spanking breast feeding chair. Hardly Normal had 20% off or soemthing like that so i got a $500 gliding recliner for $400. It's not going to last 10 years but hopefully will do the bf job with number 2 and also come in handy as an extra seat in the lounge room.

with DS i used an old office chair we picked up about 5th hand... it is grotty, but i hide it under sheets or blankets and when feeding DS had to use about 10 pillows to get comfy. So i hope this chair is better!! can't be worse eh! It's not a 'bf chair' as marketed in the baby shops, but pretty much the same and similar price range.

hope that thrush has cleared fully Lori! I'm sure you'll just fall in love as easily with a little boy as girl. But i know what you mean, DH and I have sooo convinced ourselves we're having a little girl that I am worried DH may be disappointed if it is a little boy instead... and i'll certainly be shocked and need time to compute.

kelly -that sounds so lovely about your mutiples group, it's so nice when you can find somehwere you fit in. I think i'll join one of those new parent courses through community health here cos that's how my last mum's group was formed... and we are all still in touch! most have gone back to work but we've created our own secret fb group so we can chat, share pics and offer/receive advice

I'm just so glad you've made it this far! I know you feel soooo uncomfy but i suppose every extra day inside you is one less day they have to spend in hospital afterwards! OMG i remember itchy skin with DS but i think i'm sufficient stretched from my first pregnancy that i haven't had it this time. I remember I scratched myself to bleeding on my legs several times, just absentmindedly!



hope you are all having a great weekend!
oxox

[airline]

anyone remember murraycod? tried to send a pm but inbox full. wondered how she was getting on. how are you all....theres' a lot happening on here!! yeh for a busy thread, love to all bellies and bubs xx

[oneday86]

Hi Ladies just quickly popping in to read everyones posts. Iv got my 12 weeks scan tomorrow im so excited but so nervous too, i dont know why but i always doubt my self but everything is going to be just fine and im wondering if just maybe they might be able to see what sex it is?? prob not i know but two girls at work found out at this scan (both boys) so im guessing if its a girl they def wont say. I went to these awesome markets in sydney with my sister yesterday it was all home made baby and childrens clothes, shoes, toys etc it was all just beautiful so when i find out what im having im going back down to go crazy!! lol

[grub17]

good luck oneday!!!! thinking of you tomoz love!!!

they can't tell the sex til 16 weeks i think love so don't be disappointed if they say it's too early.!!! and remember bub might do what ours did... and not show!!! lol.

sorry airline i don't know murraycod. was she on this thread??? oxo

[Possums]

kelly- what a relief, so great you have made it this far, been thinking of you. You must be very uncomfortable now

aimee- great news on your scan and congrats

lori and aimee- just a word from me on the gender topic. i can relate to much of what you both say. Basically I know people in my family were waiting for a baby girl...and I personally have no experirence with boys, and being an only child and very close to mum, think I had subconconsciously always imagined myself with, and dearly wanted, a girl of my own.
That's why i wanted to make sure I knew the gender, so that I would have time to be mentally prepared and to bond more with our little one, whether they be a boy or girl! As it is a boy, I am very glad we did find out and already he feels more real to me now and DH and I think we have found a name we both like. It's also given me a chance to accept that fact that this baby is not a girl and that I might never have a girl. There is a sadness for me in that fact, which is entirely separate to the excitement and happiness I feel about being pregnant and having a healthy baby, boy or girl, if that makes sense. I think it's a hard subject to talk about though, because a lot of people will judge, without understanding.

oneday- good luck with your scan!

kaybee- hi...on the public v private thing, i would go private in a flash if i could. It's not offered in port mac, with the way our healthsystem is set up. the private obs can only see us until 12 weeks, then they rotate at the public clinic. I am not happy with the public clinic so far for a few reasons. There is also no consistency and I have a high risk pregnancy and would MUCH rather be seeing my own Ob each time.

grub- great about the GD test! and your smart shopping...now go enjoy some choc!

afm- all going well. As i mentioned above to lori and aimee, things are more real now we know it's a boy and I am so glad we found out and I have time to adjust etc (that it isn't the girl I have so long imagined I would have). We've even found a name we both like (amazing!lol)...and bought a few little outfits, so much fun. And now I can chat to him more and embrace him in my heart ...we've even hung one of the cutest outfits on the nursery door, so it feels real and we think of him already whenever we walk in there.

I haven't been feeling too well lately. I seem to have developed an ULTRA sensitive digestive system. If I eat anything even remotely spicey...or anything beyond totally plain basically, I feel very sick, get cold shivers, bad stomach pains. And that can last for three days (during which time i have to eat plain rice etc) until it settles again.

I also still can hear my heart pounding through my ears/in my head. It can be pretty tough to sleep at night because of that. It's also made some of my exercise a bit more challenging.
I very much wish I had the option of private care here and am not really satisfied with the public clinic. Am also tempted to drive an hour away so I can see a private Ob. But like you kaybee, I wonder if it's just too late now?

But, despite that, I am still very very happy to be pregnant and on the way to holding our much longed for baby.

[dreamrise659]

lori and aimee- just a word from me on the gender topic. i can relate to much of what you both say. Basically I know people in my family were waiting for a baby girl...and I personally have no experirence with boys, and being an only child and very close to mum, think I had subconconsciously always imagined myself with, and dearly wanted, a girl of my own.
That's why i wanted to make sure I knew the gender, so that I would have time to be mentally prepared and to bond more with our little one, whether they be a boy or girl! As it is a boy, I am very glad we did find out and already he feels more real to me now and DH and I think we have found a name we both like. It's also given me a chance to accept that fact that this baby is not a girl and that I might never have a girl. There is a sadness for me in that fact, which is entirely separate to the excitement and happiness I feel about being pregnant and having a healthy baby, boy or girl, if that makes sense. I think it's a hard subject to talk about though, because a lot of people will judge, without understanding.

Hi Possums,

Thanks for your understanding. I know so long as it's healthy that is the most important thing but I have been made aware of how important gender really is. Even when you try to raise a child without gender stereotypes (like my ex and I did with her son) they still seem to just automatically develop boy or girl traits (like he always loved toy cars even though she had all sort of toys for him including dolls etc and he had a natural aggression which I haven't seen in girls - from day 1 he would screw his face up when he screamed and seemed so angry at the world!). Friends tell me that my child will be different because I will raise it differently (I never felt I had much of a say in what happened with my ex's son and she did alot of things with him - like letting him get away with bad behaviour, that I didn't agree with and never let my daughter get away with when she was his age). But I wonder how much is how they are raised and how much is just inbuilt... because he just seemed to be that way from the moment he was born. That is what scares me being on my own.

I can understand you wishing you had a girl since you were so close to your mum (like my daughter and I by the sounds of things). I'm really glad she is a girl and atleast I've had the experience of a close parenting relationship with her... probably even more so since I was younger when I had her and on my own from day 1 so in some ways she is like a friend rather than a child. we can talk about most things and plan our holidays together etc, make decisions about where to live etc. In some ways she's probably had more adult experiences (like going overseas etc) but I've also ensured she is encouraged to still be a kid (only got her own computer last year and still doens't have any electronic games machines, doesn't wear makeup etc... still very much enjoying her childhood and building treehouses etc). One of my friends has a daughter the same age (was also a single mum when she was born but now has a partner) and she encourages her daughter to dye her hair and get it cut spikey and wear makeup, have a belly button ring, wear "boob tubes", "****ty" short skirts and G-string undies etc and she's already had several "boyfriends". It means our 2 girls now seem like there is atleast 4 years age difference between them (where really there is only 1 month).

I think I've done a pretty good job of raising my daughter. I'm proud of who she is becoming and I guess that's why I'd love another girl... because I'm confident I could do a good job again, and not so confident about a boy.

Maybe you will have an easier journey concieving a 2nd child (if you decide to go down that path again) and maybe you will end up with your little girl?

It's a pity you can't get private care where you are. I can here but can't afford it. I appreciated having a private OB when I had my daughter as I liked the consistency - especially when I was adjusting to the idea of raising a child as a single mum. He was always so supportive and non-judgemental (unlike many others I encountered in medical circles who assumed as a young single mum I was stupid and had no future). I think being older now and because I don't have any major health issues going private is just a cost I can't justify. However if I had private health cover and it was included I would definately be going private.

Lori
DD -14
Bub due 28th Aug.

[Mindhugs]

Wow - you ladies have put a completely different spin on the gender thing that I had never considered. I have so many girls around me, sisters, nieces etc so it was expected by my family that I would be carrying a girl. I have always wanted a brother and so actually really wanted a boy. However I do not relate to boys at all. Although having a girl would have been just as good after all that we have been through. But I can see your perspective here, and it had never occured to me that it might feel like that for some people. Thanks for sharing. I don't judge, just more intrigued with the "how's" and "why's". I get it, I really do.

As you all know I'm having a boy. And am ecstatic, yet so scared. How on earth do you raise a boy when all you know is girls??? There were collective sighs around my family when I announced "a boy"! (as in - nevermind type of sighs). Yet I couldn't be happier.

Private care is good - but the costs are not!!! Waiting for our $2,000 "OB management fee" bill to come through the post. Which Medicare re-imburse a max of $200. Aaaargh!

OK - we need some happier topics here people.

I'll start....................is anyone else experiencing itchy nipples? Seems bizarre, but that's what I'm getting. DH keeps offering to scratch them, which I think is an excuse to continue to get closer to my new "bigger" boobies!!!

[grub17]

mh - with DS I had THE itchiest nipples ever! it drove me nutso. In the end i think i rubbed cream on them... but i can't remember what i used. ... just homebrand vitamin e i think.

yeah one of the main reasons.... actually the main reason we didn't go private this time was because there are only 3 private obs here. One was fully booked when I rang after our viability scan; the other was on holiday when i'm due; and the thrid I got in with... and then pulled out when he sent me his cost sheet!!! ****! it cost $2000 for a great private ob in newcastle and the other two here I understand also charge about that... this fellow wanted to charge me $2000 to "plan'' my pregnancy, a further $1000 to attend the birth and then $120 per consultation plus $300 per scan (which he does). So it was waaayyyy $$$$ conssidering I am the one doing all the bleeting work!!!

anyhoo that's why we decided on public... given I haven't worked for over a year, it was really a cost we couldn't afford. So that's why i'm so absooutely delighted to have made it inot the birth centre... which is public so completely free

possums - that sensitive digestive system and throbbing in your ears sound just awful! It's hard enough eating when preg, let alone having to limit that to bland food only. I hope things get a bit better for you as the pregnancy continues. I've been trying to eat a bit better since my GD. I am finding it sooo hard to control my appetite - i just want to eat constantly and not great stuff either. So I haven't had (much lol) choc for a few days.

The MW put me on some iron tablets cos my level was a bit low and gee whiz do i feel heaps better for it. I'm not dead on my feet at 5pm

Kelly d - how you love??? I saw your FB post about the branxton hicks. YOu are doing an awesome job with dem bubs!! I completely udnerstand if you don't have the energy to post but just know I'm thinking of you. Can't wait to hear the news that those lovely bubs have arrived.

One of our friends just had a little boy called Ayden - which i thought was a lovely take on the name. Also, two women I know have had little girls recently and both named them Ashlyn/Ashlin ... just a bit of food for thought for names. We are still struggling with girls names arrggghhh

[Aimee]

Hi everyone

grub - thankyou for your support, oh on the topic of names I accidentally named our baby.......oops i was going through our list of girl names and although its not my favourite (Sophie) it just felt right, but i won't settle on anything until after the birth. I only have two or 3 boys names but a tonne of lovely girls names. I feel like I know her now after seeing the 3d images and I needed something to refer to her as. I must be hormonal. glad the iron tablets are helping!

I also splurged today and bought one of those baby bjorn bouncers, so good, at least i hope it is. I have a lot of hand me downs being the youngest sibling in my family so haven't needed to buy hardly anything and we still have all of our things from DD1.

mindhugs - so glad you're excited about your little bundle, i think you will know exactly how to raise your little man! i know boys and girls are different, even my 2 little girls are like chalk and cheese and their interests and the way i need to discipline varies greatly. I know what you mean about stringy cheese, I think I'm addicted too!

Jaki - beautiful pic of bub!

Kaybee - thanks for your support, I think I just find the comments a little hard as I miss my little boy, but yes I think you're right, once baby is here, will be ok. I haven't been public (because of our health issues) but a lot of my friends have and had no problem. Its not too late but as mindhugs said they usually charge the nasty care and management fee at 20 weeks (for insurance and other stuff). My private ob is a little pricey, we have the usually 2000 care and management fee, but they dont charge much for the monthly visits and no out of pocket for delivery so he's a pretty reasonable one. And as we saw him for our ICSI and he was lovely we were happy to stay on. I still wonder if I should just go public sometimes though!

Possums - I can understand what you're saying about having time to come to terms with gender and it sounds like you've already bonded with your little man, yay for cute outfits and finding a name you both like, DH and I have often been at opposite ends on names and I think I actually gave in in the delivery room with DD1! sorry to hear about your ears and tummy, hope they settle down soon.

Lori - I hope you're doing ok and having a good week. I know what you mean about needing time to come to terms with it. I can see what you're saying about genders developing traits though. Is your daughter excited about bubs arrival? I bet she can't wait! Goodluck with your scan though and hope it all goes well!!!!

Kelly - hope you're hanging in there ok!

oneday - goodluck for your scan tomorrow! I'm not sure about the gender, I had a sonographer get a gender correct for me on an early scan (she offered to tell me). But none of the others I had been to had offered that early. Best of luck, enjoy seeing bubs!

My food cravings at the moment seem to change everyday which is very inconvenient when trying to grocery shop. Last week, I wanted oreos, cold milk, pizza, chinese, and snakes alive. This week I'm desperate for a buffet breakfast, bacon, eggs croissant, pancakes with syrup, fresh orange juice, thick buttery toast, english muffins. And I'm craving fresh strawberries but they are not to come in season for another few months!

Hi to airline and everyone else

xoxo