What did YOUR parents do that helped you after the birth?

[BellyBelly]

I'm writing an article for grandparents and am after your stories and experiences of what your parents did for you to help you when you had your newborn baby? Is there anything you would have liked them to do?

[onthefly]

After DS was born, my mum came round several times a week just to watch him while I got a little bit of sleep. She even managed to get some dinner cooked, laundry done and the floor swept! A whole lot more than I was capable of in my stressed-out, sleep-deprived state!
Sometimes just stopping by on the way somewhere (my parents live an hour away) helps give me a break as she'll happily chat to DS while holding her newest grandchild.

[glenny_c]

My Mum cooked us meals and would sometimes take dd for a couple of hours so we could sleep. The meals were the big thing though since we were so tired if it had been up to us we would have lived on Maccas for 6 weeks!

[~Hestia~]

Food bringing meals with them was a huge help. Especially if for example, they brought pasta to go with the homemade sauce.

[Amaunet]

Told me I was doing a good job didn't smother me, let DH and I have space to figure things out. Only gave advice when asked! Plus, helped with meals and housework etc. They helped more when my DH went back to work.

[sahbear]

Gave us space!

They made sure we knew they were there if we needed them - no matter what time of day, no matter how silly the question was - but they made sure we knew it was on our terms not theres!

[Tinks]

My parents did nothing My mum lived 4 hours away and my dad had no idea really. I would have loved it if they'd even thought to help me.

[krysalyss]

My parents are usually pretty thoughtful. One thing that seemed to help me so much in the hospital was that mum brought me a fruit basket. It might sound like a small thing but it was so nice having fresh fruit - a sign of life in an environment that was so clinical and bare. The fibre probably helped too

[Nai]

With DD1 she came down and looked after her so I could shower and nap, she cleaned and cooked too. With DD2 she came and looked after DD1 when I was in hospital. Once again she cleaned and cooked - however she did overstay her welcome when I got home from hospital and I did have to ask her to leave so that DP, DD1, DD2 and I could spend some time together.

[JCE0810]

After DD was born they gave us space for a few weeks and then visited for 2weeks (we lived in QLD at the time and they lived in NSW) dad didnt really do much but i appreciated his company and mum was a great help and with DS they looked after DD for us as they were visiting for the long weekend which we both really appreciated. I would have liked to spend more time with them being that we live in different states still

[Frangipani]

When DS1 was born, for the first few weeks mum came down to our house for the day a few times, then when DH went back to work she would come and stay overnight once a week (she lives about 45km away).

Mum helped with everything - she helped me with DS1 (as until then the most I'd had to do with babies was hold them and that was only brief) - giving me guidance and watching him while I rested. She also did pretty much all my housework - from washing up, putting dishes away, doing my washing, hanging it out, sorting it, helped me make dinner, bought us dinner (take out), ironing, vacuuming, dusting...everything! She would also race into DS1 when he would wake on the morning she'd stay so I could have that little more sleep - DS1 would be all changed and just be ready for a feed when she would come wake me for his feed. Alot were done together with me, but when she'd tell me to go rest she would just do stuff. I'd come out to find the washing in and sorted and ironed, or the dishes we'd eaten lunch with all away - and I'd keep telling her thankyou, but she doesn't need to do all that, but it was all greatly appreciated.

When DS2 arrived, she would take DS1 up to there house to stay 1 or 2 nights, and also continue to visit weekly (with occassional overnight stays, though not like DS1 - as we no longer have a spare bed and this time I was obviously more confident with what I was doing).

Even now she continues to help out - comes down to our house once a week to look after both my boys while I go to work and then on the other 2 days I work she takes DS2 back to stay at their house (DS1 is in child care - we are still waiting for a position for DS2 and I've been back at work over just over 4 months now).

I know I have been very blessed with such a wonderful and caring mum.

[Fleur]

I would have loved a few meals cooked & the floors swept every now & again. A couple of loads of washing done. Really basic, practical stuff.

[Beautiful Disaster]

My parents did nothing My mum lived 4 hours away and my dad had no idea really. I would have loved it if they'd even thought to help me.

Me either and my mum lives 20 min away. Mil was a surprise arrival day I got home from hospital and just annoyed crap out of me

[luna moth]

Brought me lunch -really healthy lunch- while I was pinned to the couch. Ditto for cups of tea. Vacuumed, did loads of washing. Encouraged me to have sleeps, and praised me for doing so. Did an emergency chemist run for dummies. Went out to the shops and came back with mountains of fresh beautiful food. She was staying with us, and for at least a few hours a day she kept to herself so DD and DH and I could have our own time to get to know each other.

[Gigi]

i would have loved to have parents around. It felt really sad to have no grandparents to show bilby to, to delight in her, to be glad she was earthside.

[sloane]

my parents were lovely but i really, really wished they'd brought us some more meals! i think we were given 2 meals - one from my parents & one from DP's mum. not that i expected heaps but i didn't realise what a struggle dinnertime would be & that it was when a NB was often the most...vocal alot of it's my fault though - i am useless at asking for help & if people said anything, i just said we were fine. my mum has bad arthritis so as much as housework-type of help would have been great, she's not able to (but she is a great cook!)

ETA - what i loved about DP's mum was that she would come & offer to help by hanging out washing, doing dishes etc but would also offer to hold DS - because sometimes i just really wanted the opportunity to do a mundane task like the dishes instead of being stuck on the couch!!

[Rosebud]

No help from my parents either I just wished they did for me what they did for my siblings and SIL. Meals, shopping & house cleaning

I only just recently confronted them about this and their answer was "we thought you were ok" Yeh right! DS born 15 weeks early, trips to the hospital up to 4 times/day, expressing every 3 hours meanwhile trying to be a mum to 2 other children, a wife and keeping a small business afloat. 106 days of riding the NICU/SCN rollercoaster and not one inch of help from parents that lived 20 mins away.....Sorry for the vent!

Note to Grandparents:- Please don't assume everything is ok. Even the strongest person at sometime in their life may need a little help and sometimes a little help goes a long way.

[Livinthedream]

note to grandparents:- please don't assume everything is ok. Even the strongest person at sometime in their life may need a little help and sometimes a little help goes a long way.

yes this.