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Greenslw - I'm not sure when to take the pessaries till. I'm seeing my FS on Monday for the scan and will do another blood test on Wednesday, so I'll know more then, hopefully. I'm glad it's just the one a day at night, that's not too bad. How many do you have a day? My new bra is awesome, will buy a few more, as I can't see myself washing them every day :$
Melster - so happy to see your good result! Such a relief to see it right on track!
Damprye - how was today for you? Are the kids any better?
Hi to everyone else!
AFM - long day at work today, managed to get up early, do all the chores, then went back to bed for an hour before work and that helped a bit. Had someone stare at my belly, I'm a bit bloated, but not that bad to make them think I'm UTD. I double checked with one of my colleagues and she was laughing at me as her belly bloats way more than mine and she's not pregnant.... I can't wait for bedtime now, am exhausted. And only 3 nights before we'll see our little one! Am getting a bit nervous...
Mel I am soooooooo stoked for you excellent outcome
Me4 I take 2 morning and night. Is your work full off bump watchers mine is lucky I don't eat sushi cos that's how they caught the last UTD
Damprye super woman comes to mind.
Mother in law down for the weekend DS is so excited went to sleep an hour late big family lunch tomorrow I'm cooking will be nice but so tired
Hi girls. Kinda feel like Im intruding a bit as I havent really posted here (properly) before but Im feeling crappy tonight and need some support. I hope thats ok?
I had a very early loss in Nov last year (due July), and am now 9wks (due Oct.).
I should have been 20wks today. Not 9. Im missing my lost bub so much tonight. My heart hurts. But I also feel so guilty because wishing "she" was here means wishing my current pregnancy away. And I dont, of course.
I was thinking before, now that the tears have run out, that maybe I havent really connected with this pregnancy like I thought. I mean, Im attatched to it. But I just havent been interested in looking at / talking about names or furniture or re educating myself about birth. I just cant be bothered. Now Im wondering if its actually because Im protecting myself incase the 12wk scan shows another angel or nothing at all, like last time? Which is silly because there was a baby there at ths 6 wk scan but I cant get that empty uterus image out of my head.
Not to mention how scared I am of there being some kind of "abnormality". I dont know if I have the means to care for a bub with a disabilty. I would love them to the ends of the earth, but I dont think we would manage financially, and mentally? I dunno. I think it would be too much for me. That sounds so horrible and selfish, I hope you get what I mean.
And Im still on blood patrol. Everytime I go to the bathroom I expect to be bleeding. Will that ever go away?
Am I making any sense? I dunno, maybe this should have been its own thread, sorry to be so negative. Ill get back in my box now...
I completely get what your saying, I feel the same way x
Yes it will get easier but not for awhile & I don't think blood patrol ever really stops.
I'm on my phone but I just want you to know your not alone xx
for you calluna. I don't have all the answers for you but I can tell you that your not alone. I felt guilty about being happy to be pregnant again because that meant I was happy to lose our first bub. In my head, that is. It took longer to bond with this pregnancy. I think part of that is the fear that it might be taken from us again.
I'm 18+5, i still don't feel "safe" now and im still on constant wipe watch btw.
Me4ever... Good luck with you're scan.. I'll cross everything for you.... Yeah I'm bloated too. I feel like I have put on a ton of weight already
Greenslw... Good luck with ur cooking
Calluna... I thinki it's completely normal to feel that way... I was scared throughout my whole pregnancy and I'm scared this pregnancy. I think it's a protection method. Maybe you will start to feel better after you're twelve week scan.
Me.... Well I have been feeling quiet sick in the mornings when I get up... And feeling extremely hormonal. I'm
Not loving it at the moment....but I am so appreciative the baby is ok at the moment. I need to settle a bit because I'm
Feeling quiet erractic at the moment... I can't believe I'm doing it for a third time... How will my body cope lol
Me4- I don't know what it is but something tells me you are going to be ok. I hope my instincts are right.
Greenslw- that sounds nice
Calluna- If I had of carried my first to term, there's no way I would have tried for DS1 so soon but it still hurts to have lost that one and all it meant. I'm no longer naive in thinking pregnancy means a live birth and every time with every pregnancy, I am on blood watch. I didn't really even bleed with that one, just lost a 20c sized clot and then the u/s the next day showed no HB. This pregnancy being so similar in dates to my first keeps giving me flashbacks. In general, it does get easier but there are some things that are harder. I keep thinking about the scan I had March 28 2006 and measuring 10w5d and this time, I will be having a scan on the 18th March @ 10w6d. Baby was fine on that scan and then a week later... It scares the hell out of me. AlthoughbI won't really know until it happens, I don't think I could keep this baby if I found out it were disabled. I already have a SN child with DS1 and a child with an allergy to near on everything with DS2 and so I don't think I can take it away from them, plus, how would I cope being single and with 3 high needs children? Some people may cope and I think its best not to stress too much over it as you never know what you can handle when the time comes. SN children do bring their special brand of joy into their families lives.
Melster- They say that your body is most efficient with baby number 3 so here's hoping
AFM- In quite a mood. I really wanted to meet Richard Dean Anderson today but I'm too sick. I have two gigs lined up for this arvo and noone that can replace me but I cannot let them down. Considering going with a mask to contain the bug so I can keep my reputation. May have to try outsourcing to another company
Been getting wicked painful cramps today but trying not to stress as I remember with DS2 I had the same thing at 9weeks. Feeling very sorry for myself and keep wondering why I'm pregnant. I don't want another child to X. There is also no way I want to lose it either as I know this will pass and I'll love it completely. The ms is playing havoc with my body as well. Even as I have been trying to type this, I've had to keep stopping to retch over my bucket. Thankfully (I think) no actual vomits yet.
So i woke up this morning symptom free. No m/s or sore boobs etc..
Of corse i'm know freaking out but i guess there is nothing i can do but wait till my u/s in 11
Cheshire. Can you get onto your gp for a quick scan? Its more than likely fine though. I remember feeling like that sometimes with DS.
Thanks Dampyre. I have no doubt that I would love and value my SN child equally as much as my DS but I just dont know if I have the financial, mental and emotional capacity to give them the care and attention they need. They would deserve more than I could provide, I think.
Oh girls, it's like a roller coaster these weeks, isn't it . From symptoms to none to symptoms again... Stressing out about if there will be a heart beat or not next time in the scan. Sending all of you hugs. Cheshire, give it a couple of hours and I'm sure some symptoms will show up, I had this last week, felt really good, no symptoms whatsoever, then by the end of the afternoon I was exhausted again and had sore boobs... Fingers crossed the symptoms will come back soon.
Calluna - sending you hugs.
Damprye - Thanks for your reassurance. I actually found myself crying reading it, I hope you're right! Hope you get something sorted for this arvo and that you'll start feeling better soon! Seeing that you've pas 9 weeks already, hopefully m/s will ease soon! And indeed superwoman comes to mind, like greenslw said. What you've been through in the last few weeks, is huge, and you seem to have come out of it with chin up and so positive! I'm so proud of you!
Greenslw - Argh 2 pessaries morning and night. I feel sorry for you... I will stop complaining about 1 a day I work with customers and I always admire their babies when someone comes in with one. This lady had a set of twins and I wonder if she guessed, but like I said I'm only slightly bloated and not showing yet at all. Maybe she'll tell me next time she sees me and it's obvious - I knew all along We'll see. Good luck with the family lunch, try and rope in the help of family members, just say you're coming down with something, if you're not ready to share yet!!!
Calluna I still check for blood and I had DS after mc hope time and talking ease your pain
Me4 lol I feel the same ppl know guess we can only tell when we break our silence.
Cheshire it is so hard when we are micro checking for signs I can only talk from my journey and symptoms do fluctuate hang in there
Damprye hope gig went ok hard when you feel ick but are needed
Melster hope you can settle I know it's a hard task if its not in your nature pg seems to make it worse for me.
Me well cranky with DF who at 6 am after DS waking twice for the 3rd night thought it was the right time to inform me DS has me wrapped around his finger. So I'm wide awake after little sleep. Lunch was nice DSS has a great gf who helped lots mother in law is a control freak and keeps telling DS off for things only one more night why don't grand parents realise they can leave that to parents? Bit of doubt in my mind today maybe DF isn't ready for two kids? Bit scared of doing this on my own at some point and what that means........ Sorry for vent......
Greenslw. My DF says crap like that sometimes. Makes me so angry. Also have parents/inlaws who think they can tell of my child. Infuriating! You have much empathy from me!
Melstar - Hope you can settle in soon. Its impossible to relax when you are all over the place.
Feeling a bit better today. Saw 2 rainbows in the last 2 days. Which is pretty rare for me. Wondered if that was my bub saying hello. Dunno. But its a comforting thought.
Had a dream that I was bleeding and trying to tell my ex (we were in a relationship in the dream. Weird) that I was pregnant and it was his. And that I was bleeding. All very odd and confusing. There was also a lot of focus on some hand towels. Lol woke up feeling ok though and then had a spew. So feeling slightly reassured by that.
Greenslw- I'd be annoyed too. Its normal to worry about the relationship and the strain of a new baby. No matter what though, it will be ok.
Me4- I'm glad it helped I wouldn't be able to handle things so well without the help of my friends and you ladies. Also, after the year I had 2011/2012, these last few weeks area lot less dramatic in comparison for me.
Cheshire- How are you today? If it helps at all, today the only symptoms I have are that of my flu.
Having a wonderful break from ms today I feel as though that the break makes me feel as if I can handle it when it comes back....lets just see if I still feel like that in the next few days though lol! I made it though one of my gigs and the other got cancelled. One tomorrow and then tafe Tuesday. I'm going to have to figure out how to get more wafers soon I think but trying to ignore the logistics of that for now.
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Pregnancy after Miscarriage or Loss #5
for you calluna. I don't have all the answers for you but I can tell you that your not alone. I felt guilty about being happy to be pregnant again because that meant I was happy to lose our first bub. In my head, that is. It took longer to bond with this pregnancy. I think part of that is the fear that it might be taken from us again.
I work with customers and I always admire their babies when someone comes in with one. This lady had a set of twins and I wonder if she guessed, but like I said I'm only slightly bloated and not showing yet at all. Maybe she'll tell me next time she sees me and it's obvious - I knew all along
We'll see. Good luck with the family lunch, try and rope in the help of family members, just say you're coming down with something, if you're not ready to share yet!!!
I feel as though that the break makes me feel as if I can handle it when it comes back....lets just see if I still feel like that in the next few days though lol! I made it though one of my gigs and the other got cancelled. One tomorrow and then tafe Tuesday. I'm going to have to figure out how to get more wafers soon I think but trying to ignore the logistics of that for now.
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