If some of this pressure that she is feeling has come from the cheerleading side of things, maybe you could get together with a few other Mums and see how they feel about it? I'm not sure I like the idea that the cheerleading is putting that pressure on them at such a young age, because they are meant to have hairy legs at 9 kwim? However, I had really dark leg hair so I'm sympathetic to how she is feeling about it I even shaved my arms too at one stage because I hated it that much and it wasn't even that bad in reality! It was just how I perceived it. maybe you could try some natural bleaches like lemon juice and sunlight to help lighten the hair on her legs? I was 11, nearly 12 when I started shaving them so the longer you can get her to hold off the better. That said though, the woman who waxed my legs had a client who had just started taking her 8yo for waxing because she had dark hair too and she said that there is a much better result when you start that young, but I think that it is far too young IMO. It's a tough one though

As for the hair, well that is easier. If you feel that she just needs that extra 'zing' for her performances, could you get some of those clip in hair extensions and you wouldn't even know the difference if you get the really good quality ones.