I had a senior midwife through my whole 9 hour labour to end our pregnancy due to multiple fetal abnormalities what made me feel comfortable was she told me exactly what was going to happen and she would tell me when things were happening eg. she could feel the little head and if i need to go to the toilet to let her know so she could place a pan in the toilet as some babies come real quick once mum is on the loo.
She also only asked once what we wanted eg. to see Abbi being born do we want to hold her i said i did not want to see Abbi being born incase she tried to breath so the midwife got my mum and sister to hold a blanket up so DH and i couldnt see until she was out and cleaned up.
The most touching thing was the midwife treated her like a normal birth she passed her to us and said see you have a little girl showing us her privates (as she new we had 3 boys ) and then said she is absolutely beautiful and a sweet little angel there was no mention of her deformities just how beautiful she was.
The midwife also said Abbi did not take a breath and had passed away during the labour which put my mind at ease knowing she did not suffer she was compassionate and caring she shed a tear with us showing us she cared and we were not just a job to her.
The things i did not like was the grief councillor came to talk to us while i was in labour i said no i dont want to see one now but she just came in i was in so much pain and the inducing drugs had made me have to rush to the loo constantly with cramps and she still wouldnt leave so i yelled at her to get out they should come before your induced or after bub is born not during.
And the other thing i did not like was we took our camera to take photos and were just overwhelmed so the midwife offered to take them on the hospital camera which was great she then took Abbi away and took photos when she came back and showed us what she had taken and said they would transfer them onto a disc and post them to us which was good but the camera was not left in a sercure place and the memory card was not removed for safe keeping so another nurse came along and deleted the photos by the time we were told Abbi had already gone to have the autopsy so we were unable to have some nice photos of our daughter when the senior midwife who delivered Abbi found out she rang us devastated and the organised Abbi to be brought back from westmead hospital to our hospital and she collected her from the morgue and brought her up to the maternity ward wrapped her in a blanket and took one photo of her beautiful little face and hands she rang me and told me what she had done and she said Abbi still looked fine after 10 days in the morgue and that i would like the photo it turned out to be ok and i thank her every day if it wasnt for her i would have not a single photo of our girl it just proved to us she really cared.
Sorry i have gone on but i hope it helps.