Aww Geez...what do I do??????

[Marlene]

* I have offered to trade D for DD1 in the past!

Maybe thats the way to go then....LOL.

[fionas]

OMG.

You ARE brilliant Lulu.

Look, the longer I hang around in this world the more that I think that a lot of love and listening can solve most problems.

So, I think what I would do in your situation is to tell her that she can stay - as a short-term safety net solution until you can all figure out something more permanent - which may take weeks or months. Yep, speak to all the social services you can and speak to her mum too.

I would put one HUMUNGOUS condition on her moving in. She HAS to have a productive way of spending her days and that could be to find a job or to enrol in TAFE before she moves in. I'm not 100% sure about this but I think that 16-year-olds are pretty much guaranteed a TAFE place to keep them in education.

You'll work out the rest in terms of chores and a contract but, to me, making sure that she is either in education or working has to be the priority.

From what you've said, I think she is a positive influence on Bella and she will see that living out of home is hard work and will only make her appreciate what she has at home more.

[kelebek]

I think you are amazing for considering this & what follows is just my experience & opinion.

My brother is 5 years older then me & so while I wasn't as young as your littlies I was about 8 or 9 or something when my brother went majorly off the rails. My mum being the women she is also left the door open for him, this doesn't mean she would put up with his **** while he was under her roof but he was always welcome IYKWIM? anyway as a result he would bring home friends whose family did kick them out & often we would have at least 1 or 2 of them living with us at once. For me it was a positive experience.

I suppose what I am trying to say is that if you don't think it will have a negative effect your younger children then I would go for it, I would like to think if it was me I would be able to open my home like my mum.

I do agree with BG & the others that mentioned there needs to be some clear boundaries, chores, bedtimes, impact on DD1 etc...

Some practicalities she should be eligible for something from centrelink, if the dad isn't willing to cooperate the mum should (from memory parent had to sign a form confirming they had been kicked out of home etc... but it could have all changed), also if you think she should at least get year 10 maybe talk to her about TAFE, make that a condition of staying.

HTH & GL whatever you decide.

[Ozziehoffy]

Wow... what a situation. From what you've said about D and how well you know her, I'd personally probably do it. That is just me though. As for money, if she does get a job then board is a good thing for her to learn about anyway and it wouldn't be a bad thing. I don't think she'd even mind from what you have said... in fact I think that she'd just be very appreciative and in fact could be a good influence on Bella by the sounds of her. Also, just check with Centrelink to see if you can get any assistance for her?? You might be entitled to something?? Particularly if she doesn't find a job.

to you, you are so lovely. Let us know how you go and good luck with your decision.

[tiggerandpooh]

hun - just wanted to let you know, that I soooooooooo know where you are coming from. I'm in a very similar situation right now (read my blog for all the details if your interested) I can't say do it, or not do it... whatever decision you make it, its a HUGE one. there is some really good advice on here though.