We've only been able to have a small chat with Ds1 so far, (he hasn't been home long enough to sit down with). Stayed home Fri night - after going out to dinner with gf, then left here about 1pm Sat afternoon and came back at 8am this morning (mon). He came in fri night and suggested I put a cot in his room on the nights when he isn't home. He did this after seeing the struggle I was having getting DD to sleep, and DH was already in bed. I also said to DH that he needs to stay up a little later and let me try to get DD to go to sleep in her bed rather then cuddle/pat her to sleep, which did work on Sat night, I was able to pat her to sleep in her own bed rather then in my arms.

Another idea would be for the boys to share a room, DD in the other room, but keep a bed in there for the nights the gf sleeps over, then move DD back in with us those nights in a portable cot or co-sleep with her those nights. I could then set up another cot in her room as well for the day care babies and the older kids could sleep in the loungeroom during the day.