I would want to know if it was happening at my home, or during a party I was hosting.

I would want to know so I could keep my children safe, and be aware of potential risks I might need to plan for next time ...

I would also want to know because at the end of the day, you can be held responsible for whatever goes on at your home ... if the drinking was to have started in their yard, or if someone had brought a joint - or if the boys had ended up coming back - etc, there could have been some serious consequences ...

Having had teenagers in our care for several years, things like this came up a lot and communication and trust with other parents we could relate to were imperative.

And having been at parties in my youth when the proverbial did hit the fan, I can see in hindsight that some things wouldn't have happened if the parents had a better idea of what had gone on at earlier parties ...

Naturally, I'd be speaking to the parents in confidence, in a way which wasn't going to reflect poorly on my daughter - if you've known these people for 12 years, hopefully this can be done in a trusting environment where it won't come back to bite either of your girls, but you can brainstorm some ideas for the next party, so you can both be confident that your girls are able to have parties and have a good time and so forth - without safety being compromised.