hang in there lulu - its a bloody roller coaster aint it!!! and one we could do without. I often find myself shaking my head in disbelief at Laura wondering who on earth this child in front of me is. The mood swings do my head in as well. I do find she is worse when she is premenstrual.

I know this wont make it any easier to accept - but maybe a little easier to understand... Lets blame it on the lack of development in their frontal lobes, the part that enables them to be able to make rational decisions and choices. This part of the brain doesn't fully develop until their 20's....

some interesting reading
" ... compared to adults the teens' frontal lobes (the
seat of goal-oriented rational thinking) are less active and their amygdala (a structure in
the temporal lobe that is involved in discriminating fear and other emotions) is more active.
The teens often misread facial expressions, with those under the age of 14 more often
seeing sadness or anger or confusion instead of fear. Older teenagers answered correctly
more often and exhibited a progressive shift of activity from the amygdala to the
frontal lobes. The results suggest that "in teens, the judgment, insight and reasoning power of the frontal cortex is not being brought to bear on the task as it is in adults.
Teens just process information differently from adults. .... This
new research may also provide a compelling explanation for why adolescents often fail
to heed adults' warnings about such choices; they may simply not be able to understand
and accept arguments that seem logical and decisive to adults. It is also possible that
teens are misperceiving or misunderstanding the emotions of adults, leading to miscommunication
both in terms of what the teen thinks the adult is feeling and in terms of the
teen’s response. "
and some more...

"Inside the teenage brain
Teenage years are often a time of rebellion and conflict, but new research suggests our teens are not being obnoxious on purpose. A report in the August edition of GoodMedicine investigates the latest evidence that teens are effectively being held captive by their developing brains. The report delivers advice to parents on coping with the transformation.

“For many years scientists believed that the first three years of life were the most crucial for brain development,” notes report author, Sarah Marinos. “But researchers now believe the teenage years are equally as vital in the development of our grey matter.”

Far from being an established clump of cells, the teenage brain is a complicated work in progress.

It is still growing and neuroscientists believe this helps to explain some of the weird, wonderful and downright frustrating behaviour we often associate with teenagers.

Parents and the teenage brain


Realise that adolescents are not just a smaller version of adults. The adolescent brain is in transition.


Remember that adolescents’ frontal lobes are closed for construction. As a result, they are short on forethought, planning, consideration and impulse control.


Grab them by their emotions. If you want teenagers to learn, of if you want to communicate with them, make sure what you have to say is emotionally relevant to them.


Bombard them with positives. This is the age where motivation gets tricky. Use rewards and anything else you can think of to keep them intrigued with learning.


Never underestimate your power. Adolescents need someone around them, someone they may battle with, but someone who ultimately they imitate and emulate.


The report explains the reasons behind the lack of interest in conversation, the need to sleep-in (it’s not laziness), and angry outbursts."

I know it won't take away your frustration hun - it certainly doesn't take away mine - but it does sometimes help me in the midst of the arguements to stop, and remember that I'm dealing with someone whose brain is still "growing" so to speak. HTH.