Trying to Conceive After Miscarriage/Loss July 2009

[Inanna]

Welcome to TTC after Loss or Miscarriage for those of you who have just joined us. We hope your TTC journey is quick and successful. We are sure you will find much loving support from the other women on this challenging journey.

If you have any concerns regarding anything within this thread please email/ PM any of the following Moderating/Admin team for this forum (all emails/ PM's are treated equally & confidentially):-

Niliac
MistyFying and
Flowerchild

Their email addresses can be found here.

You may also like to consider taking a look at the comprehensive and informative BellyBelly Conception Articles which may help you in your journey.


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You will find the previous thread HERE

[zstar]

hi milly and welcome to ttw!

[Sunny Love]

Hi ladies!!

I'm a little unsure when my 2WW will start as my cycles have been getting longer, but i'm on the down hillslide........or right at the very top at least!
Lots of BD either way, regardless of this stoopid cold!!

Hope everyone is well!

[Sunbeam]

Hello girls,

Whoo its friday bring on the weekend.

Milly- glad you are with us, so now there are 3 in the TWW and sounds like Sunny will be joining us soon too.

Have a great day everyone.

[zstar]

good morning girls

sunny - i hope your tww flies by and you get your bfp!

afm - i am sooo looking forward to the week end and not being at work and having my mind more occupied to help me get through this tww! arrgghhh. i was having funny pains in my ovaries yesterday. i hope it was implantation. not sure. still feel a slight dull pain in one side today that comes and goes. i don't temp or do any other testing so i guess i just have to continue this waiting game. my b's aren't sore - i would know - i have touched them enough times checking! i still have up to a week to go. i really need to learn to deal with these tww's better! i'm fine until around a week to go...well not fine but as it gets closer i get crazier! anyway, i'm staying positive and this will be my last tww!

i wish everyone a calm and happy friday.....

[coco1411]

I was in a good mood until 2 minutes ago..

DH just called and asked if I wanted to go for breakfast with scott and zoe...zoe is the girl I mentioned about a month and a half ago now, that she told me she was pregnant then gave me the cold shoulder when i didnt want to hang out with them the day after she told me because when i saw her a would just cry....

DH said I just wanted to check first before I invited them because he knew it was awkward for me..and I said to him...well I kinda spat it to him.. "as long as she has a baby in her belly and I do not because ours died, yes its going to be awkward". I did like this girl but now I just dont. I hate her. I am so jealous and I hate that I feel she is being all smug we're still not pg and not only am I not pregnant, Im having a stupid operation to see why we arent pregnant, and to top that off, Im having a damn D&C so I probably wont be ablt o try again straight away anyway!!!!! I want to be cool and relaxed about all this..but I just cant..Im not going to kid myself, it is painful and really makes my blood boil.



Just needed to vent. Possibly will go back to lurking for now.. hrmph!

[ferrals5]

Not happy they still havn't found our probe (faulty gene) so i have been told it can take months to find it and then when they do it's 6-8 weeks for a cycle of ivf so it could be dec before we even start our cycle we could get pregnant natrually in that time and have the baby tested at 11 week's i'm going crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what do i do my clock is ticking the medicare rebate is lingering over our heads i am so over all this bulll s##t i just want a break for once just one little break please someone up there give me a little help.

Hi to the new girl's sorry i'm not real talkative today but looking forward to getting to know you

[SuperstarMumsy]

Hi everyone,

I finally feel strong enough to come on here, I am currently on CD17 I think....god forbid I dont know what cycle day I am on....so weird. Everyone keeps telling me not to try this month but I say F*** them...sorry for the language but it makes me so angry. I think trying this month is the only thing keeping me sane with pregnancies and new babies all around me - ITS NOT FAIR!!! So I havent o'ed yet but the doc told me this cycle would probably be longer so I am not really concerned in all my prior cycles I have o'ed on CD14,15 or 22 so fingers crossed I do actually O. DP is off on a surfing trip on Wednesday so I have my fingers crossed I O and am in the 2WW before then - I figure something has to go right at this difficult time. I would prefer a 28 day cycle but a longer cycle has worked out better as DP will be back for some loving before O in our next cycle! Anyone else found their partners have been funny in the BD department. I was thinking it was just me being paranoid but he hasnt been real keen on doing the deed! He was ok once I was ready to have sex after the procedure when I wasnt in a fertile time but now seems a bit apprehensive....totally abnormal for him. Not sure if it is the MC or me?????

I really hope we have some BFP this month cos we deserve it, we all really do.

And what is it with smug pregnant people....they annoy the crap out of me....I get it isnt my fault she lost her baby (second hand advice)...true but some sensitivity at a difficult time would help! Some people have no idea...but then you have others (like you guys) that are so supportive!

[toomanyshoes]

And what is it with smug pregnant people....they annoy the crap out of me....I get it isnt my fault she lost her baby (second hand advice)...true but some sensitivity at a difficult time would help! Some people have no idea...but then you have others (like you guys) that are so supportive!

Our 3rd M/C was only a couple of months ago and I can not believe how rude DH family were towards us, no thought put into how we might be feeling his f'ing mother even told us I should have my tubes tied! I could have slapped her...And them beaming over their daughter (DH sister) being pregnant was a joke, ok its great for her but why throw it in my face again and again.....I want to get away from these people soooo badly!

My SIL calls weekly to tell me how fab her pregnancy is....not once has she asked if I'm doing ok or anything.

Some people are just total A holes

But on another note, I'm so scared about trying again...what if it doesnt work...what if it does. I dont know how long I can keep trying, I dont think I'll be strong enough to get BFN's month after month and I'm just as scared of a BFP...what if there's another M/C....sooo scared!

[GIVENUPHOPE]

WOW.......
I must just take a few min and say that ive spend the last day just sitting back and reading the stories and then reading the support that is given from everyone and again i have to say that this is AWSOME!!!!!!
Thank you all for the lovely welcomes i really feel like i can relax and be myself and not wory about putting up a front all the time. Im now at the stage that all my friends are starting families and here i am being aunty to them all and never mother,so in that way i find myself having to pretend to be happy and never let them see that it kills me. IT JUST BECOMES TOO MUCH AFTER A WHILE..........

Here comes another question for you ladies,what do i do if my husband (who is very loving and supportive) is not really wanting to try again. I have approched him and asked him and he has responded that as much as he loves me and as much as he wants to have that baby he doesnt want to have to look at my face and see the pain when things go wrong AGAIN!!!!! How do i try and let him know that as much as it hurts to lose a baby it kills me even more not being able to have one. I just feel that he too has suffered a loss as much as i have and i really wouldnt want to try if his whole heart isnt in it. Does that sound stupid?????????

I have to add that no matter what has happened to you ladies i just think that everyone of you are really wonderful and dont realise how strong you really are, i speak for myself but i just feel that one day if that baby ever comes i think that i will be able to be a better mother because for what i have experienced. I will NEVER take that precious being for granted as some out there.

Wishing all those ladies that are trying the best of luck and i believe that you deserve to have your hopes and dreams come true and they will

[toomanyshoes]

Here comes another question for you ladies,what do i do if my husband (who is very loving and supportive) is not really wanting to try again. I have approched him and asked him and he has responded that as much as he loves me and as much as he wants to have that baby he doesnt want to have to look at my face and see the pain when things go wrong AGAIN!!!!! How do i try and let him know that as much as it hurts to lose a baby it kills me even more not being able to have one. I just feel that he too has suffered a loss as much as i have and i really wouldnt want to try if his whole heart isnt in it. Does that sound stupid?????????

Maybe he just needs a little more time, he might not have dealt with his feelings about the loss.

At first my husband wasn't interested in trying again, but I gave him time, than sat him down and told him why I wanted another, what it would mean to me etc. I think this helped him to see things clearly rather than "oh its just going to be heart ache again".

With all 3 M/C's I got really angry because he never seemed upset, its only been with the 3rd I've really understood how he felt. He wants to protect me from pain of having another M/C, which is great but I had to explain to him that the pain of not trying would be greater IYKWIM?

I would just give him a little time then try to sit down and let him know how you feel and try to pry outta him he's feelings.

Hope it all works out

[ferrals5]

Morning girls.

Superstarmummy-I know what you mean i have had the same thing happen to me every one around me is raving on about the pregnancies how far they are if it's a boy or girl ect. without even thinking that it rip's my heart out and bring's all the pain flooding back in an instant and we have to smile put on a brave face i hate it the only thing that keep's me from going off my nut is that they just have know idea what it feel's like to lose a baby and if they did they might be more considerate to our feeling's so i don't think they relise what they are doing.
Also don't listen to other people on TTC this month you do what you feel you are ready for and if people don't lkie it don't tell them.

Tomanyshoe's-as i said to superstar unless these people have been in our shoe's and felt our heartbreak and pain they have no idea my SIL is pregnant and her baby is due 8 week's after abbi was and i refuse to see, speak or even be near her as she has been a b#tch to my mum as my mum wasn't happy for her when she told her she was pregnant as it was the day we were told abbi had no chance and we had to be induced the next morning and my mum was with me through it all and was heartbroken for us and my SIL couldn't see why she wasn't jumping for joy and swinging from the rafters for her.
I know it is scarey TTC again but all you can do is keep going be positive that you will add to your family and when the right little one come's along it will stick.

Givenuphope-give him some time men deal with thing's differently they tend to want to avoid the thing's that can cause the pain so just talk to him tell him that you want to have his baby more than anything and if it's ment to happen it will and at least you can say you have given it a good go i would never get over our loss if we dont at least try but don't pressure him he will come around.

AFM-waiting waiting and more waiting DH said last night if the pgd ivf is going to take 5mths like some are telling us he want's to try natrually while we wait i will talk to the ivf doctor on the 21st and find out how long it will be then we can decide 5 mths will kill my not ttc i wont be able to do it

[Sunny Love]

Welcome back Superstar mumsy.......I mean....Im happy you have more strength now!! Good luck this cycle

Bit of catching up to do with the posts....at work right now tho

BBL but have a good Saturday everyone......carn West Coast!!!

[eliselouise]

Hey everyone hope you have all had a good weekend
Givenuphope, that must be a hard situation to be in with your DH not wanting to TTC. I would suggest trying to talk to him and let him know that as hard as it is losiing a pg it is even harder for you to not try again. Hopefully he will come around shortly and you can get on your way to a H&H pregnancy
toomanyshoes that sounds really hard and awkward with DH family treating you the way they are, if that was me being told to have my tubes tied i would say thanx for your opinion and concern but its my life and my body and i will make the decision that is right for us. As for being scared of getting a BFP i think we all feel that way and it will always be in the back of our mind when we do fall pg but i suppose we just have to stay positive and keep our fingers crossed that it is a healthy one
ferals the waiting would be so hard and i think you must be a very strong person to do it. Hopefully your IVF doctor can give you a bit more of an idea on how long away it is when you go and see him/her
Superstarmumsy its good to see that you are feeling strong enough to come back on here and i think you have every right to be angry at the people telling you not to try this month, it is none of their business and you should ttc when you are ready to
Anilla hope you are feeling better today
Coco feel free to vent any time you need it will make you feel a little better to get it all out. It can be extremely frustrating and upsetting being around pg people. That is one of my biggest worries at times. I have quite a few friends who are at the stage were they may start trying to have a family and i just think it would crush me if i was to find out that they were pregnant before me, i know it sounds silly but its quite natural in our cases i think. Keep your chin up and hopefully youll get your BFP very soon
zstar hopefully the pains in your ovaries are implantation pains and good luck with getting through this week and hopefully there will be some exciting news at the end of the week
Hello to everyone else i have missed and good luck to all the girls in the TWW
AFM no news to report still waiting for normal AF to come back. Have had a good weekend, had a win in netball yesterday then went and seen my step sister and her 5 month old girl (too cute) and then db took me out for dinner last night.
Talk soon

[Cherished]

Hello to all of my special old friends and the girls who I don't know who I am sure will be my new friends... I am back after a few weeks away from BB and I haven't looked back through any posts (sorry). The break has been wonderful and I have only been concentrating on loosing weight (which is also going slowly but I am really happy to be sticking with it). I am generally feeling pretty good mentally but I don't think that is going to hold out much longer when this dam af stops and we are ttc again.... I think that if I don't get pregnant and 'keep' the baby etc etc I am just going to loose my mind So far I have managed to block off all of my feelings about it and generally not think too much about the losses but when I start 'wanting' to be pregnant again and am trying if it doesn't happen quickly I just don't know how I will cope. I'm sure you all know what I am talking about....

So my stupid body has pretty much been spotting non stop since the mc! I thought I was now having AF and that it was coming to an end by the time I went to bed last night but it seems to be getting heavier again this afternoon... "Lord I just want it to stop"!!! I am sooooo sick of it and I want to make love to my dh! He has been so patient and loving I am so lucky...... For the girls who had a natural mc please check out my chart and tell me what you think and please let me know if you had an experience like this? My temps are also all over the place, I thought that it was great that I had a temp drop during af but then it went back up again???

I hope you are all well and please let me know if I have missed and BFP's?

[Sunny Love]

yay welcome back cherished goddess!!

[josh'smum]

Hi ladies,

This is my first ever post, altough I have been following your threads for a little while. Its amazing how refreshing it is to hear that I am not alone with some of the feelings that I have been having.
Hopefully I am in the right place to post my story.
I miscarried our second child in December 2008, our first, a healthy boy is now 2 and a half. After my D&C in December my cycle is still irregular and we have had no success TTC in the past 5 months. I want to be pregnant again more than anything, and I feel as though TTC is consuming my life. I have bought a OPK so hopefully this month I will at least know the right time.

A lot of my friends are pregnant and I find it hard to be genuinely happy for them, of course I pretend to be; but it is unlike me to be envious like this. My sister and her husband have just decided to TTC and I have this overwhelming need to be pregnant before her. Hopefully this is the month. I keep telling myself that my body isn't ready yet, but how long can I keep telling myself that?

[josh'smum]

Thanks Sunny and Cherished for your reply and welcoming me to the thread.

I'm normally very positive about TTC except for that dreaded time between conception and AF. The not knowing for me is the worst bit, unfortunately then AF comes and then I just start planning my fertile days for the following month, as I said I am consumed with TTC. Being at home with a toddler gives me plenty of time to think about it- and then I get feelings of guilt that I am not completely satisfied with what I already have.

This week I am having a blood test and a pelvic ultrasound just to make sure that my body has recovered. They are checking hormone levels, cysts and fibroids. Hopefully that is all ok, if not at least I am aware of any issues and we can start correcting them.

Fingers crossed for everyone this month