I never thought it would happen to me :(

[Jaye.Dea]

This is very new to me - I mean the internet but I have no one else to talk to. I have just lost my baby at only 10 weeks and it feels like it was a real baby

[Megs75]

hey Jaye.dea
im sorry to hear about your loss.everyone is so helpful here. i lost baby boy in january this year and it has really helped me reading post on here. so many women go thru this aweful tragedy.
i havent posted until now' i gather your new to this too.
\what does jaye dea stand for?
love megs

[Jaye.Dea]

hey Jaye.dea
im sorry to hear about your loss.everyone is so helpful here. i lost baby boy in january this year and it has really helped me reading post on here. so many women go thru this aweful tragedy.
i havent posted until now' i gather your new to this too.
\what does jaye dea stand for?
love megs

Jaye Dea is my name - Jaimi
Yes I am new to this.
I am wondering if this is all because I ate soft cheeses. I feel so irresponsible.

[Megs75]

dont beat youself up jaimi. i ate a salad at a local deli. i felt so bad. but what do you. its happens. deep down i feel responsible for the loss of my boy.but we are all here together. you should read some of the other forums. i think loads of other people are on here with similar problems.
love megs

[Jaye.Dea]

Thanks Megsy
I feel bad complaining so much when you have been through the same thing too!

My mother - I can't talk to. All she has been saying is "In my day, we didn't worry about what we ate!" I try to tell her it is different now and she thinks I am just being silly.

[Megs75]

oh my god... how insensitive.i cant believe she said that.some people just dont think before they say stuff.i totally dont understand that.
how weird you are i are new to this and end up chattiing all night. its like past 2am here. where r u?

[Jaye.Dea]

2am? Where are you? I am in NT... It is 2.30am here I am getting tired and have to go to work tomorrow oh.... today now I mean

[Megs75]

dehhh how blonde am i.its after 3am time doesnt mean anything to me anymore. i havent been to work for 3 weeks.people in the real world dont seem to understand. its nice to know there is others who understand what we are going through.
love megs

[Megs75]

dont worry about your mum, my mum says the the same stuff. those days they didnt have soft cheeses. i think our generation know too much. have u any other children?

[satya]

I'm sorry for your loss. None of us ever believes this will happen to us, then it happens and any pregnancy afterwards you think you will lose it.

I was extremely careful with what I ate during my short lived recent pregnancy & I still lost it. The main cheeses you should avoid are brie, camembert & blue vein so if it wasn't one of those it is unlikely to caused a m/c. Also unless you were also very sick with it (running to the loo & throwing up) it wouldn't have been listeria that caused it, and that's the reason they say not to eat it.

Unfortunately in most cases you will never know what caused it. Most women go on to have a healthy pregnancy after such a loss. It doesn't matter how far along you were with the pregnancy it seems that most of us take it in the same way. We had already formulated plans for that little person.... even with a really early loss (like the ones I've suffered) a woman can suffer a huge amount of grief. It does get easier in time but it can come back and bite you when you least expect it. I found posting my innermost thought here helped immensely, I'm sure you will too.

[cherie26]

This is very new to me - I mean the internet but I have no one else to talk to. I have just lost my baby at only 10 weeks and it feels like it was a real baby

Sweetie it was a real baby no matter how long you were carrying it inside you. I have one son and lost a daughter 3 months ago and she was everybit a real baby even though I never got to meet her. You are a mummy to an angel baby just like us.
I was not careful at all with my first pregnancy and ate all the wrong things and my baby was fine, but the second pregnancy I decided I would be strick, no soft drink, caffine etc and I lost our girl at 11.5 weeks and there was no reason for it in all the testing they did.
Miscarriage is quite high 30% of all pregnancies and I have heard one of the girls in here say her ob reckons almost 50% but we assume our period is late and then get it a couple days later and think nothing of it.
It is going to be hard I still have bad days but it is ok to miss your baby and all the dreams you had its all part of the grieving process.
I am certian soon enough you will be pregnant and making all those dreams come true!
Take care

[mrsaym]

Jaye Dea,

As cherie said, it was a real baby - I had my D&C at 10 weeks, I would be 12 weeks today and I know I definetly had a baby inside me.

I thought I would be fine and not have to endure a m/c. The loss some days is hard. It feels unfair to me sometimes and other times I think it was for the best. I would have hated to go full term then to find out that 'he' had some terrible abnormalities.


As with the food b4 I knew I was pg i ate anything and everything, now, although I am not pg I am being careful with what I eat so I can give my next bubs the best start to life. Although the Dr's all say it is just one of those things. My sister has had 6 healthy kids and never m/c at all, I think that me being older has increased my chances of m/c.

Will be back on the TTC road very shortly!!

Good luck

Mich xox

[lilima]

Please dont beat yourself up over thinking that you did something wrong.
Your baby was too good for this world. Now you have a precious little angel to watch over you

[britkane8]

hey jaye.dea im so sorry to here about your loss it must be so hard for you and your partner.my heart is with you u i only had a misscarraige a week ago. some advice keep your chin up chick and stay positive for the next one.


love susan

[krysalyss]

Hi Jaye,
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Although I now have a little boy, I do know how you feel as I thought I lost my little one twice - once during labour.
Although a big deal is made of listeria - the chances of actually contracting it from soft cheeses is very slim. You would have had to be really unlucky.
I guess I am trying to say dont beat yourself up over it.
I am sending you lots of positive thoughts and hugs.

[Megs75]

you are all so sweet. i have been reading posts for a couple of months now before i posted to Jaimi, and you are all so supportive. it just doesnt seem fair that it has to happen to us. you hear of people doing all the wrong things and have perfectly healthy babies. what more can i say?!
Jaimi how you doing sweet?
love megs

[lj268]

Jaimi,
hi and welcome, I have just gone thru my 3rd m/c in a row, and this time it has really cut me up! I really didnt think it would happen to me again, but it did. Im assuming that perhaps there was something wrong with my babies and nature did the right thing to take my angels away so that they didnt live a very bad life, I dont really know, but thats just how I try to think now.
Im sure you did nothing wrong by eating some soft cheese, I mean as Megs said, there are plenty of women out there that are always doing the wrong things and their babies are usually fine, it doesnt seem fair.
I know that when you go thru a m/c you think you're the only one in the world who goes thru it and it is so hard to understand why it happens to you, but then you come to a place like BB and you realise that you are far from alone and the support you get from others that have suffered the same thing as you is really great and helps out so much.
I was even getting to the stage where I just couldnt stand to know someone who was pg cause I was so upset about losing my bub, but that is something I am coming to terms with now. (my DP's sister and his SIL are both pg and that really hurts that they are)
Anyway, I hope you get thru this ok and that you may be able to get some results as to why this tragedy happened. I hope that in the near future that you will once again become pg and carry this one full term to become a H&H bub.
Best of luck and thinking of you,
Lindy. xoxo

[Lissie]

Jaimi,
So sorry for your loss. And yes your baby was a real baby - its funny about our mothers sometimes isn't it, my mother actually said to me when i m/c the 1st time - oh well it was nothing wasn't even a baby - i couldn't believe it - i mean she was nice to me but did not count my baby as real, so i kind of had to be really strong on the phone when i spoke to her and alot of people gave me the same answer - i was floored to tell you the truth. But loosing a child not matter how long you have them is hard, you do need to greive and do not let ANYONE tell you otherwise. Cry and cry if thats what you want we are all thinking of you and you did nothing to cause this - unfortunately nature does this not us .