Hi Jaye,
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Although I now have a little boy, I do know how you feel as I thought I lost my little one twice - once during labour.
Although a big deal is made of listeria - the chances of actually contracting it from soft cheeses is very slim. You would have had to be really unlucky.
I guess I am trying to say dont beat yourself up over it.
I am sending you lots of positive thoughts and hugs.