Thanks ladies finding this forum has really made me feel so much better... My DH is great but talking to other ladies who have been through the same thing just makes me feel normal again and lets me know its not my fault... We decided that we wanna try again yesterday and have made some summer plans and even talk about moving out of state he is also going take me to play putt putt golf next week I have never been before so it should be fun... I'm not sure what we are doing for the holiday yet I was going to stay in because I didn't wanna be around family just yet but I think it will be good for me to get out and about again...