Trying to Conceive after Miscarriage or Loss #3 May '08

[pbstar]

angel babies- like the other girls here i wish you all the best. your wisdom, kindness, sense of humour and all round great attitude really helped me through my miscarriage in jan- even though i wasn't posting then just reading your posts and poems helped enormously. i hope you do continue to pop in and say hi every now and then.

[jen805]

Angel Babies--I second everything plc just said--it was beautifully said, so articulate, and I could never say it better than that! I guess I hadn't realized exactly what you were saying in your post, but after looking back on it, I don't know how I missed it. Like pbstar, I read your posts before I even joined the thread, and your positivity and support for everyone else, despite how you were feeling about your own situation, was always unmatched! A few weeks after I joined the thread, I read your poems, and they were so beautiful I just sat there bawling! You are a strong, amazing woman, and we'll all miss you so much. that you'll check in on us every now and again, and double that you'll be blessed with a beautiful surprise BFP!

[Vanaithi]

Hello Ladies!

SarahJane - dont think I said HI & to you yet - sorry!

PLC - Congrats! Did I do that already?

As for me: AF arrived this morning. brown stuff. very disappointed. . but looking forward to her going away soon so we can give it another go. hopefully her stay is short. I usually have AFs for about 5 days before mc...

Quick question to anyone who can answer: how long did your first AF after mc stay for? just want to know if af changes after mc...

[nicjay]

mollycat - wow, that all sounds really exciting! I'm sure it will be great when it is all finished Glad to hear that your dr thinks everything is OK.

Canary - sounds like all is well, good luck!

jen - I hear you about the changing cycles! I haven't had any 2 cycles the same length since my m/c and it is driving me nuts! The cycle tracking has been the best thing though, at least we know for sure when I am Oing. Even DH thinks that it has been the best thing we have done to help things along in the last few months. I hope yours even out a bit for you too

AngelBabies - all the best to you I too hope you are surprised with a BFP and hope to see you around.

KrystieLove - what an effort to get a HCG result! Glad that you are happy with it though. Mine took quite a few weeks to get back to 0 after my m/c, I finally Oed about 4 weeks after the D&C.

LJ - to you, I hope you are wrong about AF showing up. Hope to see you back!

pbstar - great to hear things are looking good for this cycle, all the best!

Acria - I don't get pain either, so can't really help. But good luck for your TWW.

Hi to everyone I have missed

Me - Nothing much happening, just off to the clinic today for another blood test I had the day off yesterday to give my arms a rest, so here's hoping for a good result today. Wish me luck! Anyway, better run - I have to take my DD to a swimming lesson this morning before we go to the clinic. Bye for now!

[Heaven]

Krystie- Bummer about still having the hcg and the Dr not getting a quantatitve test, lol, what a nob. But like you said, hopefully it doesn't take too long to get back to 0!!!!
Acria- Thankyou!! Don't worry, you won't have missed the egg, it's best to dtd the day before O anyway coz then the sperm are there waiting to pounce!! this is your cycle!
pbstar- Thanks for the welcome!! lol, yes it's hard to keep up especially when I'm posting in the 6+ mnth thread aswell, hmm....
Angel Babies- I don't know what to say. I am glad that you feel that you've made the right decision for you and I wish you all the best!!

Ok, well I think I've caught up? I'm off for a day of house hunting and finishing off some of the last uni work for my degree, boring!! Hope you all have a more exciting day planned!

[AJC]

Angelbabies - Sounds like your family made mother's day really special for you.
It's been an absolute pleasure to know you and share this journey with you. Thank you for all of your words of wisdom. You sound very at peace with things. I wish you all the very best in life always!

Mollycat - wow, extensions sound more fabulous every time you talk about it. Sounds like everything is flowing along nicely and going to plan - you're lucky, good tradies can be few and far between.

vanaithi - sorry about AF. Good luck for this cycle. My af didn't really change after m/c. The first one was a little lighter but was around the same duration.

Krystielove - sorry your doc was such a doofus! Hopefullly that 101 will be 0 and before you know it you'll be O'ing and catching that egg!!!

Hugs and Babydust to everyone!!!!!

[Jodsan]

Flowerchild - thanks so much, I read the link you provided. Not sure where to go from here, I hope you can help. I said to my doctor last time I saw her that I think I have been pregnant two more times over the past 6 months and I'm scared my body is rejecting them. I just kinda feel like that is happening, I really felt a baby's presence and then my period would come when due but really, really heavy, when I usually have a fairly light period which I have had the other 4 months. I have a highly strong ANA and had glandular fever shockingly when I was 6, I missed half a year of school. I have had intermittent bouts of being quite sick but it really stepped up a notch after having one of my kidneys removed when I developed chronic fatigue. No other antibodies have shown up, though I do have a lot of the lupus symptoms, including butterfly rash over nose which comes up as though its an allergic reaction - two rheumatologists have diagnosed me chronic fatigue/fibromyalgia overlap. My cousin has severe rheumatoid arthritis so there is definately family history of autoimmune. Do you think I should start taking aspirin to see if that helps? Interestly, when I fell pregnant with Aiden my Nephrologist prescribed one aspirin per day from about 6 weeks which I had to stick to throughout the pregnancy. Wonder if that's why it all went normal? I dont really mention this stuff to doctors anymore, sick of doing a million tests and nothing showing up - then getting treated like I'm insane. I just manage myself through exercise and good diet. Even if I eat a little badly for only a while and put on only 2 or 3 kilos, I get sick. Do you know anyone who can help?

Big hello to everyone else, I'll pop back in later to do some personals.

[Katiegirl]

Jodsan - I just read your post and thought I would let you know that I am currently seeing a great ob who specialises in women you have had previous losses and/or medical conditions. His name is Mark Umstad and I was recommended to him by another BBer, after I said I wanted to change obs. I met his pre-pregnancy and he ordered any tests that had not already been done (which was a lot) and made sure we covered everything. My last ob thought it unnecessary to do tests as I had only had 1 loss - but Mark is far more pro-active. He is also a kind, understand man who is incredibly experienced and competent. He works out of Frances Perry House and you would need to book in to see him pre-preg I think to guarantee his availability. He likes to do pre-pregnancy appointments to do all the tests.

I am not sure if you are looking for a different dr, but I thought I would mention him. He always tells me that none of my questions are stupid (when in fact a great many are!) and always answers them honestly. I would feel completely comfortable calling him if I had any small concern as I know he understands my anxiety.

Good luck and I hope get the help you need to move forward with confidence

[issy02]

Hi everyone,

Just want to start out by saying sorry for the lack of personals today...still swamped with work

But, Plc- Im so happy that everything is ok ...now you can start to enjoy it a bit more Im sure. Wishing you a H&H pg.

Welcome to all the new ladies in here, sorry my memory is shocking and I always loose my posts when I go back to the thread, so here is a huge to all of you.

AFM - I think im appraoching ov as cm is starting to become watery (sorry TMI). Like pbstar I feel this cycle is going very quickly, but as we all know, its the TWW that kills me...it drags on and on and on.....

Anyway, thats all for now, sending cyber to everyone,

Issy

[Where there's hope]

Hi everyone

PLC - I was thinking of you yesterday and am soooooo happy you have reached this important milestone.

Acria - I am interested in the whole "O" pain thing, too. I had never had it before my first loss last September at age 37. Since then I have been getting it for maybe 4 or 5 days around O. I looked on other forums and it seems it can come days before, during or even a day after O.

Vanaithi - My first period arrived on time, but was not normal for me. 2 days fresh medium bleeding (sorry tmi). I spotted fresh on Day 7 a few hours later after BD, but put it down to that. Then I spotted on Day 9. I told my GP about this. She said the spotting on day 9 was not normal. I understand the first can be very heavy or very light. I am keen to see what my AF arriving approx next Monday will be like. Hoping it is a boringly normal 4-5 day effort.

Jodsan - thanks SO MUCH for your msg explaining ANA. I do not know if I am mean't to reply to the msg here or in some other way - a bit new to this forum business. I read your reply to flowerchild with great interest. I also was tested for the anticardioplan (spelling?) antibodies and they came up negative. Is this the other testing you were referring to? My folate was nice and high so it is not the homocystine thingo. I have read some women have an MTHFR issue - don't know if that is related to ANA, but apparently common for MC - but my GP had not heard of it. I am seeing an FS in a couple of weeks and would love to be armed with some intelligent questions (so would love to learn more from you). I looked up Lupus yesterday and, while I do not have the sore joints, I do continue to be very vulnerable to bouts of fatigue. That is probably the only thing I could find in common with the lupus.

Flowerchild - forgive my naivity, but is the test for NK cells something separate to request? I did look up the link - excellent reading, thank you.

ME - a bit in the doldrums. Have to change the age on my signature tomorrow. 38 seems to be a bit of a landmark figure when you read about egg quality and that damned downward hill. But am doing my very best to make sure my machinery is in the best possible working order for my next PG. Did a POAS today at only 9dpo. Did not want to get a BFN on my birthday. Surprise: BFN. Too early anyways...

TO EVERYONE ELSE - a big "hi" Hope you are having a smooth-sailing week. Good luck to all in their TWW.

[Inanna]

Yes, it's very contentious and I could find only one obs in south east Qld that would even listen to me on it...

[Jodsan]

Thanks Katie, I will keep him in mind. I have made an appointment to see a naturopath on Friday who specialises in fertility. I figure I will try to cleanse and address everything through diet and herbs, etc first. Then if nothing in a few months I might have to go and have some tests so I will definately keep his name.

PLC - congratulations everything went well with the scan!! Really happy for you! How are you feeling, any ms yet? As soon as I get some money I will definatley book in to see your acupuncturist, an extra box I can tick!

Issy - Good luck catching the eggy! Hope the TWW flies by and brings good news.

Where There's Hope - Happy birthday for tomorrow, I probably wont get a chance to come on. With lupus they normally test for a whole heap of other antibodies, there are so many similar disorders such as mixed connective tissue, etc and they all have a specific antibody which tells the dr which one it is. Fatigue is usually the first symptom of all of them, BUT it is also a symptom of just about any other chronic illness we get. If your AntiC was negative, then I dont think you have anything to worry about as far as affecting fertility cos the ANA level is so low. But if you do get sick again, ask them to test your ANA and other antibodies to see if there is any activity which is causing the fatigue.

Flowerchild - I went and bought some aspro clear anyway, if I do fall again in the next couple of months they are going to put me on it anyway so I figured it cant hurt.

Hi SaraJane - what are you studying? You must be so excited to almost be finished.

Megsmum - Hope your arm is ok!

Vanaithi - Sorry about AF, she sucks! With me AF just went back to normal after MC, same length, etc.

Angelbabies - I am so sorry to see you go. Thank you so much for all your pearls of wisdom, it has been an honour to have had you in my life. I really hope that somehow a miracle just accidently takes you by surprise, while you are looking the other way. Save a link on that bracelet just in case. Just enjoy your 2 gorgeous almost grown up miracles and lovely DH and see what the world has in store for you. Best of luck :goodluck2:

Big Hello to Jen, AJC, pbstar, Mollycat, Canary, Nickster, Smilanatu and every one else.

I'm finally CD 1 so I'll be around a bit more now.

[Baby Angels]

You Little Buggers.....

You have all had me in tears..... this so called "strong woman" is here with tears running down her eyes. But I THANK YOU ALL.

Its been a bloody hard journey for all of us. I will still be updating my website and hoping that it continues to help the next person who has to go through what we have been through. While reading your posts I ve thought about the last 5 months.... boy it seems longer than that. The PAIN we have all been through and moved through ONE DAY AT A TIME.... has been immense.

Now for those of you... and you KNOW who you are..... I want updates and I want photos.... did you notice the "i want... I want... I want" part.... just getting you ready for motherhood .... but i do want updates and photos. Angel_Babies@live.com.au

So I ll leave with some parting poems.

A Pair of Shoes

I am wearing a pair of shoes.
They are ugly shoes.
Uncomfortable shoes.
I hate my shoes.
Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair.
Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step.
Yet, I continue to wear them.
I get funny looks wearing these shoes.
I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs.
They never talk about my shoes.
To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable.
To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.
But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.
I now realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes.
There are many pairs in this world.
Some woman are like me and ache daily as they try and walk in them.
Some have learned how to walk in them so they don?t hurt quite as much.
Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by before they think about how much they hurt.
No woman deserves to wear these shoes.
Yet, because of these shoes I am a stronger woman.
These shoes have given me the strength to face anything.
They have made me who I am.
I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child.

and for my angels

Cameron Azrael & Krystal Sariel

We?ll never get to hold you,
Or look upon your face.
We?ll never get to show you,
Our love through our embrace.

We?ll never have the feeling,
Of you calling out to us.
We?ll never know the feeling,
Of you looking up to us.

Why you were taken away from us ,
We?ll never really know.
We look around for a sign,
As to why you weren?t to grow.

There is nothing we can do right now
Our minds are an absolute mess.
There is confusion, sadness, sorry,
And anger I must confess.

Our tears can not bring you back,
Back into our world.
You are gone from us on this plain
We?ll meet again I know.

So until that time I ll say to you,
And you must listen to your mummy.
Watch out for us when we come one day,
Your mummy and your daddy.


Take Care of yourselves and be good to yourselves


ohhh and Nickster......

[Where there's hope]

Such poignant words. Hauntingly familiar.
Good luck, Angel Babies.
Thank you

[nicjay]

Oh AngelBabies, your poems made me again for my babies. They really do make me think again about all that has happened again too....it really has changed me forever. Thanks so much and all the best.

On a happier note for me, my clinic rang me today to let me know that I am ovulating today. Yay I am so relieved it has finally happened this month. Off to start using the pessaries tonight, can't wait

[bettyboop]

what did i miss, i have been in hospital for a week with a bug, and i missed you all, hope you are all doing great.

[jenushka]

I hope you are all well. Just popped in to say hi...

megsmum - great news from your clinic! Have fun and good luck with catching the eggie!!

angel babies - we haven't actually *met*, but like the other ladies I have drawn strength from your words and poems - thank you for sharing your story with others to help them get stronger... big and all the best for the road ahead

Jodsan - I hope you are able to find some answers as far as possible autoimmune condition soon...

where there's hope - sorry to hear about the bfn Hopefully its just a bit too early... Have a very happy birthday tomorrow - are you doing anything nice?

Issy - glad to hear you have some good signs that o is approaching - I guess you'll be pretty busy this weekend!

sara-jane - hope you managed to get your uni work done (I was a very good procrastinator at uni!) and good luck with finding a house...

Vanaithi - sorry to hear about the arrival of AF - hope its not too tough on you. My cycle went back to my normal 30 days straight after the d&c. The first cycle was a bit odd with a bit of mid-cycle bleeding and spotting almost the whole time, but not surprising - guess everything just had to adjust.

plc - SO glad to hear how well your scan went - I bet your still sitting their smiling about it all!

jen - hello!! hope the 2ww is treating you kindly. How long till testing?

afm - just watching a show on foxtel about a couple that had quintuplets (eek!) after a round of clomid... from one extreme to another!

I'll also be updating my age on my sig on saturday - there's a lot of May bdays in this thread isn't there?! Really looking forward to it - dh is taking me and ds out to breakfast where we got married (a restaurant on brisbane river), then having all of our good friends over for drinks and yummy food in the afternoon... aaahh

to the preggy ladies and to all the ttc'ers!!

[AJC]

Hi Everyone

Sorry but this is going to be a 'me' post. I went to have a shower tonight and had a few brown stains on my knickers. I checked my CP and C doesn't feel as hard and the mucous was a little stained with brown. I'm trying to think positive but it isn't looking good. Had BT today so will speak to ob tomorrow. everything is going to be ok but I have a bad feeling about things atm.