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Thread: Trying to Conceive after Miscarriage or Loss April 2007

  1. #19

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    Hi everyone!!!

    Salt, just popping in quickly to confirm that YES, it's fine to have an internal U/S when you are pregnant. I've had one myself. In the very early stages, sometimes the embryo is too small to see with a normal u/s, but is clear with an internal....hope that helps.

    Hope everyone is having a great day...xxxx


  2. #20

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    Morning girls,

    Janeo - let us know how the naturopath goes. That's something I wouldn't mind doing if it looks like it could help.

    Satya - I haven't used MB so not sure what that ferning means. It is definitely ok to have an internal scan when pg - I had one with my first pg. Also - at the scan, they will be able to tell you where you are at with your cycle, if you have O'ed or not or if you are about to. Hopefully that will help clear up where you are at! I hope AF doesn't arrive before then.

    SP - I am the same - my eyes get sooo puffy when I have been crying. I just keep telling people I have hayfever or a cold! Not sure how long that is going to cut it for. I also have those feelings when I see pg people and think that is where I should be. Princess Mary is due around when I would have been with my first, so I can't stand seeing pics of her in magazines! Why can it work out for her and not me - come on, share some luck around, she is already a princess!

    Well, we are not TTC this cycle. Last month DH decided that we should keep trying this cycle, and I was unsure as I feel that it will never work on our own. But last night, when I thought it was the right time to BD, he said no and that we shouldn't try this cycle. Anyway, I just turned away feeling rejected and confused, and then he said 'so you only wanted me for a baby, not for me?'. Sooooo awful, I said I wanted him for him, but as we have a 100% success rate at achieving pg each time we try, and we had no protection, then we couldn't DTD. He agreed, and he is not angry or anything, but I feel soooo awful. I hate that things have come to this - we can't just have fun and let it happen naturally like most people and I am so sick of this hanging over our heads. Don't get me wrong, we DTD just for fun at all times of the month, but I feel so terrible right now. I agree with him, there is probably no point in trying, as I feel it will just die if we get pg, and that we definitely need some help. I just hope that my dr has a plan tomorrow because I am starting to get really sick of this.

  3. #21

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    Yeah for sure Bun im going at 2 today so ill let you know tonight what he said and all that jazz.....

    And SP i also had a early internal u/s cos bubba was too small to do on my tummy, its a pretty normal practice..

  4. #22

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    Hi ya girls,

    Just dropping in to sprinkle lots and lots of

    love kez xx

  5. #23

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    Well the appointment with naturapath went really well, he has given me a herbal tablet to get my cycles back on track he had just seen a women who has been trying for 4 yrs only getting 3 periods a yr and since being on it for the last 4mths she has had 4 periods so thats promising.. He also wants me to get tested for Polycistic ovaries so thats a bit scary going to see the Dr next week.... He gave me some acupunture and told me to up my zinc and to excercise at least 3 days a week......... So glad i went to see him and highly recommend you guys seeing one.... Ill give updates as things go along..

  6. #24

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    Hi everyone, hope everyone is doing OK.

    Bun - I'm sure your doc will make some kind of plan for you tomorrow. Is he a gp or have you already been referred on? I know how hard it is regarding the whole bd'ing thing when the hubby starts to say stuff like that. I went through that with the ex and it's really hard to deal with. Just do your best to keep the lines of communication open between the two of you and you should be OK. Good luck with everything tomorrow.

    janeo - I think it's great that you are stopping the temping for a while & seeing a naturopath.... relaxing a bit and natural therapies seem to work wonders with a lot of women.



    I've started to spot late today so I'm really hoping that AF can just hold off for 24 hours so I can get my ultrasound done tomorrow. I will be really annoyed if I have to put it off. I'd rather just get it over and done with. If I get it done tomorrow I will have results on Saturday of next week. If I have to delay it a week then of course the results will be a whole week later. Probably sounds stupid but at my age I really can't afford to have too many delays. I need to keep the ball rolling.

  7. #25

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    hi janeo,

    You must have posted while I was composing. That's great that the naturopath's visit went so well. My doc also thinks I may have pcos so that's why I'm off for my u/s tomorrow (if AF damn well stays away). Good luck with it all.

  8. #26

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    Hi everyone, sorry I have been AWOL but our internet decided to die Monday night and DH only managed to fix it tonight. There is just way too many posts to try and do personals, but Tonners, in answer to your question about what test I used, yes it was the pregnosis brand, hope that you get a darker line second time around though.

    AF still hasn't shown up for me, temp is still going down, but not yet below coverline, also had some spotting today, but now nothing else. Had a really good day yesterday, went and got my eyes tested for the first time since I had laser surgery done on them in December 2004 and was pleased when they told me I still don't need to wear glasses, there is a very very very slight change but glasses wouldn't make any difference and the change is more likely because my eyes have a constant "shake" so I can never completely focus on anything for long periods, it's pretty freaky at the movies though when the movie screen shakes from side to side.

    I'll be back tomorrow sometime (or should I say today) i'm now off to bed

  9. #27

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    Good morning all,

    Just a quickie this morning. I am on CD 36. my last cycle was 36 days so I am expecting AF to arrive today at some stage. I have had spotting for the past week now. Ever since the m/c, I have had spotting for about a week before AF arrives.
    I wish it would arrive so I can try next month for a January 08 bub!
    I am still feeling a little low but I guess we cant be positive 24-7

    Hope all is well with everyone out there. Will try and do more personals later.

  10. #28

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    Good Morning ladies, well, CD1 for me today, AF arrived this morning after I got up, feeling OK (maybe a little disappointed, since we tell ourselves it isn't over till AF arrives) I have done a manual overide on my chart and changed O day to CD 17 as I feel so certain that was when O happened, and when I look at my previous non-preg charts they are all so similar with the slow rise then the temp drop 2-3 days before AF where preg cycle had the rocky mountains look.

    jenjams
    I know what you mean about staying +ve, even with the temp drops over the last couple of days I still held out hope that there may still have been a chance I was pg and was just one of those of people who was going to implant late. I will keep my for you.

  11. #29

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    Hello to you all,
    Just popping in to say hi and see what you are all up too.
    Megsmum- for you for this month. Glad to hear good news for TTC from your specialist.
    Bun-My DH recently told me if I don't get pg soon we will not be having children cause he will be too old. I think they do this cause they get frustrated, I just don't think they realise how much it hurts us, they are not the only ones hurting are they!!! Best of luck with your tests youa re having, let us know how you go, thinking of you.
    Janeo-Glad all went well with your naturapath and yes please keep us updated how all is going
    Satya-Hope AF has stayed away for ultrasound so the ball can keep rolling, keep us updated as to how you are going
    Jenjams-Huury up to AF so she can go away fast & you can get bding ready for your Jan 08 bub. Some days are worse than others, I know what you are saying we can't be positive all the time.
    Sharon-Congrats on the eye test. My Grandmother has just had a cataract off & is 100%. I am glad all is well for you & still no glasses that is fantastic after 2 1/2 years. Sorry to hear AF has arrived, I can't comment on the temp cause I am hopeless at it myself, sorry.

    Well for me I am 7DPO and I sooooooooooo hate waiting, seems I know what the answer will be though BFN. Don't know why I feel this way. Can't help but think what I would have looked like by know as my due date was 24.05.07, I would have been fat no doubt, but anyway. Dealt with it fine at the time however as the due date gets closer I seem to be feeling worse. Sorry for all the crap, I will go now
    Lots of to all of us & will talk later

    Herbie
    xxxx

  12. #30

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    Herbie- 31 is not too old. I also know what you mean about feeling bad around your EDD. Mine would have been a week or so ago and I was feeling very emotional. I guess when we do finally get lucky, it will be even more special.
    Sharon- If my AF arrives today then we will both be back to CD1.
    There are just too many girls in here... hopefully not for too much longer

  13. #31

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    Default Introducing myself

    Hello to all you lovely ladies in here,

    I've been doing a lot of reading of threads on this site, and it's been really helpful to me to read about others experiences, of those that have walked a similar path to mine.

    About me - my son, Luc, was born on 7 March 2007. A full term baby, posterior induced birth. Healthy pregnancy, no major problems. My third baby. When he was born, the midwife commented that his breathing was "a bit laboured" and the ob said they would organise a paediatric check of him. He was born at 9pm at night. 18 hours later, the next afternoon, I awoke from a nap to find him dead in his hospital cot. Can't begin to explain the nightmare that unfolded then.........

    There's much more detail - but to cut it short, I'm terribly upset to think that his death may have been preventable if he'd been given a thorough examination (he never got checked). I had to keep reminding staff about this before he died, just seems like the inadequacies of the hospital system came to the forefront - although he was born in a very good private hospital, seems this made no difference.

    All my research on SIDS says that it's diagnosed from 1 month old. So, we don't fall into that category - and the fact that he was a bit blue after birth and the concerns raised by medical staff (albeit not outwardly major problems at birth) seem to indicate that Luc had some problems, but not major enough to raise "alarm bells" - so he does not fall into a SIDS category. No medical staff have even offered me a guess as to why our son died - they can't explain it - it seems all was well to them.

    So, here I am, 6 weeks later. We have to deal with Coroners etc. and I'm glad that his death will be the subject of an inquiry - as I'm hoping it will turn up some answers. Can any of you shed any wisdom from your own experiences?

    My immediate reaction was "I want to be pregnant straight away". Obviously that's not possible - and I know it was just a coping mechanism. We had a funeral for our baby. It was terribly sad. We got to spend some time with him, and brought him home for an afternoon. An autopsy failed to find anything wrong with him. He was a very wanted and planned baby. We are all heartbroken, as I know you will all understand. I treasure that I got to see him born alive, and cuddle him - I know this is so much more than most of you ladies had. At least I had that and I have many photos of him. Yet, it was just so unexpected and sudden, no warning. I barely got to know him before he left us. I don't want his life to be meaningless, I want to extract as much good as I can.

    Most days are ok, but many are not. I have much pain and sadness, and yet I know I just have to keep going forward, no choice really.

    I just had my first AF after birth - 6 weeks later to the day. So, that is one good thing. I will definately be TTC again. I don't want to wait for anything or waste any time. I really want a baby, and I hope the next pregnancy and baby will have such a better outcome.

    Thanks for reading.

    Lee

  14. #32
    *las* Guest

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    Oh Lee, my heart just breaks for you and I am so sad that you have to be here

    I don't really have anything valuable to say, but want to send you lots of *hugs* and I know you'll get all the support you need here.

    Girls..I am such a twit, every morning I get up and forget to temp I think I'll just have to rely on guessing on when to start 'O' testing this month! AF is hellish, I guess I expected it to be a bit yuck first cycle back!

    Bun - hugs to you to! Are you ok not ttc this month?? I do understand your fears and where your DH is coming from, must be hard though.

    Jane - glad your appointment went well, sounds like you have found a good one!! Does zinc help woman with fertility too?? I know it helps MF, my DH is taking it!

    Sharon - so sorry about AF We are pretty much cycle buddies though...hope we can get each other through this month!

    Herbie - sending you sticky vibes...hope the next week flies by for you!
    Last edited by *las*; April 19th, 2007 at 11:27 AM.

  15. #33
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    Oh Lee, I cannot start to find any of the right words for this message to you but just wanted to add my support to everyone else's you have come to the right place and BB ladies are just the best.

    My 4th son was born with what was described as 'a bit of a colour' and 'laboured breathing' (they called it 'grunting' and 'singing' - all my babies have been born in the UK so not sure if different words are used here) - I left him tucked in his cot whilst I had a bath (UK practice) and the midwife placed him under a heat lamp in his cot - when I came back he was still making these noises - a midwife that I had known previously (not the one that delivered me) put her head round my door to say hello as she had seen my name on the board - she then noticed that Joe was still making these noises and called the Registrar. Then all hell broke loose and Joe was rushed round to SCBU (Special Care) and within half an hour he was on CPAP in an incubator - they did a lumbar puncture to rule out meningitis and took chest xrays.

    In the meantime, my HVS (swab taken when my waters broke - I was 36 weeks - it's routine in UK) came back positive for Group B Strep so they then suspected Joe pneumonia - this was then confirmed by the chest xrays - double pneumonia. To cut a long story short, Joe was in SCBU for the best part of a month on treatment.

    I read your post in tears because it scared me so much as to what could have been (I'm so so sorry - this sounds so selfish) and I do so hope I haven't upset you by what I have written - I just wanted to let you know what we experienced - we were told several weeks after, when we went back for Joe's 3-month check that we could so easily have lost him. It's just that there are similarities and I wanted to make sure you knew of a few things that need to be ruled out. I'm not medical at all so I am not sure what the difference between an autopsy and a coroners inquiry is - just some answers would be so welcome, I know that from m/c.

    I have recently lost my second pg after Joe, and I can totally identify with you wanted to TTC again, not waiting for anything or waste any time, I am still waiting for AF though.

    I'm sending you HUGE hugs and much love, Luc is a very beautiful name for you to have chosen for your little boy.

    Much love to you and your DH
    Alex
    xxxxx

  16. #34

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    Lee - so sorry to hear about your beautiful boy. What an awful thing to go through. I hope you get some answers soon.

    Las - I don't really know how I feel atm. Part of me thinks there is no point in TTC as there is something wrong, and I feel that we need some kind of assistance to sustain a pg. But the other part of me feels time ticking by and it has already been so long, also - my specialist said there is only a 20% chance of finding a cause, and most tests have been done already, so that makes me think we should try anyway. But then it kills me to think of going through it again and I think maybe I need a break? I just don't know - will ask my specialist today what I should do but I know he will say it is up to me.

    Satya - I am seeing a specialist and have been for a couple of months now. I just pushed for it, as they usually won't send you to one until you have had 3 confirmed m/cs, but I am so sick of wasting time, so at least I have had a lot of tests done now. DH and I are fine - we are very open with each other and have what I would consider a very good marriage, but this does put a lot of pressure on us and we have both struggled with depression lately. I imagine years of this would definitely put strain on a marriage. Has AF started yet? I hope you are able to get your scan. They may tell you if it looks like you have PCOS, rather than having to wait til your dr appointment, of course they can't confirm anything, but can tell you how your ovaries are looking. Good luck and let us know how it goes. I will probably be having a scan today too at my appointment.

    Janeo - the naturopath visit sounds like it went very well. I hope it works for you! I am thinking maybe I will get around to seeing one too. My specialist suspected I had PCOS when I first went to see him and I don't, so try not to worry about that yet, it may not be the case.

    Sharon - I guess in a way getting AF is good, as now you can move on to another cycle, good luck for this month! That's great that your eyes are still good - I would love laser surgery but can't afford it and am not sure if I am even eligible. I get really dry eyes when I wear contacts, but sometimes I just get so sick of wearing glasses!

    Herbie - your EDD was just 2 days after the EDD of my first m/c. It is hard when that date is approaching and you imagine what life should be like now. That is terrible your DH saying he will be too old if it takes much longer! I find my DH often makes stupid comments without really thinking and doesn't mean what he says. Guys are a bit strange that way - my DH says the same thing (he is nearly 33), but I know he doesn't really mean it. Maybe tell him that it hurts you when he makes these comments and that really, he is not too old!

    Hi to everyone else.

    My mum phoned me last night to tell me that a girl she works with has just had her third m/c. She has been trying for a while and has no kids. I feel so much for people going through this. I said to give her my email and I will hopefully be able to help her. I know soooo much about this area now, having researched it to death for the last few months. I hope it all works out for her.

    Hi to everyone else.

  17. #35

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    Lee my heart really goes out to you, I don't think I can even begin to imagine what a nightmare you must have gone through (and still are). I have only had early m/c so my experiences are going to be different to yours, but like most of the women in this thread I think it is very common to just want to be pregnant again straight away. :hugs: to you and your family
    *las* I am sure we will both get through this month and will hopefully be BB together
    Bun I am hopeful this will be a +ve cycle. As for the laser surgery, I can't wear contacts because my eyes dry out too easily (although apparently you can get contacts that "breathe" now) and I have worn glasses since I was 6 years old, my prescription before surgery was -5.75 R eye and -6.25 L eye (basically I was blind as a bat) didn't think I would be suitable for the surgery either, I will never have 20/20 vision because of my nystagmus

  18. #36

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    Dont think Zinc helps as such just that he noticed i was low in it and thinks that balancing my whole body is a start iykwim!!!!!!!

    Yeah im hoping it isnt PCOS but worth looking into it......

    Huge Hugs Lee you poor thing my heart aches for you.. I wish you all the best for the ttc journey..

    Sharon so sorry af arrived bring on the January babies....

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