Trying to Conceive after Miscarriage/Loss April/May 2009

**ferrals5** · April 30th, 2009, 10:21 PM

Hey ladies
just thought i'd see how everyone is today it's good to here other's are having the same sort of issue's with their DH i asked my DH if he felt like a sperm donor he said no but feels under pressure to get me pregnant and when our work clashes with my fertile days that just makes it more of a chore but he said he knows its not my fault and dos'nt blame me we both want a healthy baby before we get to old so it's worth it and we make up for it at other times anyway had a bad day today found out my oldest son has to have a major op on his ear this will be number 6 to try and save his hearing in that ear and our real estate has given us 60 days to vacate our house as the owners want to move back in so now we have to house hunt and i have to pack my daughters nursery up i hav'nt been into her room since we lost her and no one has touched a thing so i'm siting here having a jack's and caffine free diet coke(at least the coke is ok)trying not to stress.
on another note has anyone had temps go from 36.9 down to 35.7 so early in their cycle (day 7 today) seems a bit low
Me35

Dh37
Ds15Ds13Ds11

Abbi 20/3/09 19w5d

**ferrals5** · April 30th, 2009, 10:32 PM

Hey ladies
just thought i'd see how everyone is today it's good to here other's are having the same sort of issue's with their DH i asked my DH if he felt like a sperm donor he said no but feels under pressure to get me pregnant and when our work clashes with my fertile days that just makes it more of a chore but he said he knows its not my fault and dos'nt blame me we both want a healthy baby before we get to old so it's worth it and we make up for it at other times anyway had a bad day today found out my oldest son has to have a major op on his ear this will be number 6 to try and save his hearing in that ear and our real estate has given us 60 days to vacate our house as the owners want to move back in so now we have to house hunt and i have to pack my daughters nursery up i hav'nt been into her room since we lost her and no one has touched a thing so i'm siting here having a jack's and caffine free diet coke(at least the coke is ok)trying not to stress.
on another note has anyone had temps go from 36.9 down to 35.7 so early in their cycle (day 7 today) seems a bit low
Me35

Dh37
Ds15Ds13Ds11

Abbi 20/3/09 19w5d

**coco1411** · April 30th, 2009, 10:35 PM

Hi all

I feel like a bit of a freak in saying that my DH & I dont have fights at

time but more happy and excited? Im sure that if we were to go long term and have to get riiiight into TTC then maybe we would

I POAS today and the second line of the OPK was visible as opposed to the previous 2 days not being visible so expecting a surge tonight or tomorrow or very soon anyway. I am

reeeeeeeeaaaally hard that my googy egg deploys before sunday or on sunday because DH is going away for a week on Sunday at 3-4pm. lol Not that im counting...

My Average

day is cd12 or so, so here's hoping!!!

**ferrals5** · April 30th, 2009, 10:43 PM

Sorry bout the double post stupid computer does stupid things or maybe to many jacks(LOL)

**smilanatu** · April 30th, 2009, 10:44 PM

Good Morning Gurlies!

Sally...sometimes you just gotta take it...LOL...I literally climbed on top of Lee as he was sleeping and look at me now...he was protesting as he went to sleep BUT I KNEW it was O time sooo I waited patiently and as soon as he was snoring wah-la he woke up smiling...and I am now UTD with our precious Nahla!

Have a wonderful Thursday ladies...it's raining here...yuck!

**coco1411** · April 30th, 2009, 10:49 PM

Good Morning Gurlies!

I just want to takea moment to commend Angel on her fabulous posts! Atta Girl for you

Sally...sometimes you just gotta take it...LOL...I literally climbed on top of Lee as he was sleeping and look at me now...he was protesting as he went to sleep BUT I KNEW it was O time sooo I waited patiently and as soon as he was snoring wah-la he woke up smiling...and I am now UTD with our precious Nahla!

Have a wonderful Thursday ladies...it's raining here...yuck!

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahaha that is the best mental image I have had all day! WOO!

**plc1805** · April 30th, 2009, 11:10 PM

shortcake - sorry that you have been so crook, pls look after yourself......

smi - hun, so good to see your posts, big hugs sweet

angel - welcome back hun

it's where you should be - giving all the love and support in here for the girls like you gave me not so long ago - you are our guardian angel

erybery - sweet you need some of these

take care ok?

hello and hugs to you all

**Baby Angels** · May 1st, 2009, 01:18 AM

You know what I m going to do... post a as soon as there are a couple...so that way it doesnt take me as long as it did today.

meh.......It is an amaizing group of women in here.... it always has been.... and we do.... we become part of each others journeys....ohhh go on... i think i can feel a group hug coming up... ohhh yep... here we go

sallyk61......we are all allowed the occasional self absorbed day....... and besides... on here... DH s are always wrong and we are ALWAYS right.... its lesson number one on the BB lessons..

ferrals4.......packing up that nursery...... not going to be easy hun... I dont know... maybe a way to move to the next phase......not suggesting you do... but maybe... maybe by then you might be in a place within yourself where you may be able to.

Coco......looks like dh stress is the go at BD time... maybe you may just need to pull dh into line and say.... "Look.... your meant to me grumpy and painful.. would you please get your act togther and do what all the other DHs (and call him DHs).... are doing... your making me stand out....its embarrasing"...... either that or just run with it and thank your lucky stars

smilanatu...... Jumping on Lee..... now... how is it that i am soooo NOT surprised........

..... funny how they wake up with a smile...

PLC1805 BB..... Thank You Hun....Muahhhhhh....Love Ya

Ohhh and Boble..... You ll have your eyes closed for a while hun... I ll sneak it in when your least expecting it......LOL... (insert smilie... I ve run out AGAIN)....lol

**jen805** · May 1st, 2009, 02:52 AM

OMG.... well done, Angel on the persies... looks like I'm going to have some competition!

Does this mean I have to make my post extra long? LMAO... kidding... I can't tell you how happy I am to see your beautiful avi back around here!

And the laughs.... you've always been able to give me a good laugh!

I do, however, have 5 pages of posts that I'm trying to catch up on... I was going to start, as I've got 1 1/2 pages of written posts to type, but I KNOW that many of you have posted again since page 5, so I'm going thru this page by page... it IS time consuming, isn't it, Angel?

But it's SOOOOOO worth it! I'm just being reminded though, that you can't miss a day of posting--there's just so much to catch up on!

So.... in my best Terminator accent.... "I'LL BE BACK"! .... just on the subject... am I the only one that finds it weird that I've seen my Governor's bum?

BBS!

**jen805** · May 1st, 2009, 06:45 AM

OMG.... I'm finally done catching up! It didn't really take 3 hours, but I got called in for noon aide... and I'm sure you all remember that the word "No" doesn't seem to be in my vocabulary--unless I'm talking to the kids or DF! LMAO I think that's the most frequently used word out of my mouth around my house!

So I'm now home, and ready to catch up! Wanted to first start out by giving a huge

and many thanks to Angel, Hannah, meh, Mel, smi, plc, & issy for all of your sweet, sweet words!

I've never taken compliments well... but yes, I was blown away, and just wanted you to all know how much I appreciate the friendships that we've built!

Angel--It's a HUGE load off my shoulders that the squirrel has been sprung! *whew!* You can blame Hannah for your blown cover, but you called me jen jen... that was your biggest giveaway! But you're right--I had forgotten those endearing words that I used to hear so frequently... "bite me", and will take advantage of the fact that I haven't heard them yet... that just means I have some work to do! Those words have to be earned! LMAO

On a serious note, though, you've always been the glue that holds this thread together--so if I've learned anything at all, I learned from the best!

You truly are the guardian angel of our little thread! Thanks for getting things back to the way they should be! Love you lots!

MO3B--You should be here!

Love you and miss you my cyber twin!

boble--Hi and *hugs* for my RB buddy! Wish you the best of luck with the BT's! Sorry to hear that you have to sit a cycle out--maybe the change in routine is just what you need to get that BFP! They say things come when you least expect it!

Hannah--Hey cyber sister! Your post had me in tears! Thanks so much, and I also can't imagine not being a part of the rest of your journey! But don't worry--you're stuck with me! I'm with you all the way, hon! Hugs and bellyrubs!

meh--Thanks for your compliments (and your PM--I'm sorry I didn't respond to it sooner!) How's that zen space working for you? Big *hugs*

Rhi--I'm sorry to hear you feel as though you haven't dealt with your loss well... sometimes we have days where it just kinda sneaks up on you... and it's such a bumpy, windy, rollercoaster ride--sometimes you don't know if you're coming or going... you wonder if that's a light at the end of the tunnel.... or wait... is that a train headed right for you? Remember you're among friends that understand and care, don't feel ashamed to vent if you need to! *hugs* Sorry to hear that DH is having issues at work--that never helps alleviate stress, hope things clear up soon! Hope you enjoy the yoga and it helps relieve some tension.

Ooh, almost forgot to say thanks for the orange flourless cake! Scrum diddly!

charm--Glad to hear your DH will be home for O! Best of luck catching that egg!

cherished--Looks like it's about O time... are your BD shoes on? Also wanted to send you some extra big

issy--Hey my friend! Angel's right, you're one classy lady!

I sure was looking forward to that mud pie, though!

Big *hugs* for you, hon, you've traveled more than your fair share of this bumpy road, and I'm so pleased that things are going so well for you! Bellyrubs from me to you!

Mel--Happy belated b-day to DH! He already got the best present in the world!

Ok, there's a start..... I still have 1 1/2 pages of posts to type, but have to get some money in the bank--pronto! Eek! Will be back to finish my novel! lol...

**boble** · May 1st, 2009, 10:08 AM

hi there,

Jen - how are you feeling today? I hope you are right and sitting this month out is what we need... I wouldn't mind having a March baby - so hopefully next month will be it for us since I have been so good and patient.. well, sort of

Angels - lol. I think you might have a good idea about checking in sooner between posts. That lot was probably much easier - and you almost had enough smilieys too

I hope you are going well!

plc -

smi - haha - my DH would kill me if I woke him up - he loves his sleep lmao

coco - i hope you catch that eggie. good luck. and yay for you for not having any probs at O time - thats awesome!

ferrals - argh, seems like you have a lot going on atm.. I hope you are able to find a new place soon and DS's surgery goes well.

sally - there is nothing wrong with you being right

i couldn't help but giggle when i read that because that sounds like me. I'm never wrong, only misinformed sometimes hehe

Greenslw - I hope you are going well.

and me - well, 10 vials of blood later for this mornings blood tests. Oh well, the things we have to do. DH had 6 taken this morning, which was way better then the one he got last time :P He also had a doctors appointment and the dr has requested some additional bloods for testosterone - he also got the full check up down there too and all is good.

**jen805** · May 1st, 2009, 12:33 PM

I'm back! Sorry that took so long--DS and I ended up at the animal shelter adopting a new cat!

His 'Cooper' disappeared a few weeks ago, and was already a replacement for another Cooper that disappeared. So.... it's a girl! lol... She's orange and white, and her name is Sunny.... or Chloe, DS can't seem to decide! She's about a year old, but DS likes the fact that he helped save a cat from the shelter!

ferrals--Sorry to hear that DS has to have another ear op! I hope that this will be the last, and it helps with his hearing! It sounds as though you've got a lot of stress at the moment, with DS, having to move, pack up the nursery... Sounds like you could use a couple

and those jacks with coke! No apologies for alcohol induced double posts! ROFL

Angel--A few threads back the same thing happened with my computer! I would have to enter in the most odd-ball things--and I would think WTF? I thought it was only me--people kept laughing at my computer antics, but I couldn't figure out why all of a sudden I was having to enter in a code just to leave a post! I think in your case it was due to the amount of posts, or lack thereof....but I don't know why it happened to me! Oh, and I also couldn't post in colors, or use my smilies--that was the same time that the photo gallery disappeared, and it's still gone! Lucky for me I at least got my colors and smilies back... still looking for that photo gallery... is anyone else still missing theirs up at the top of the page? Poor boble still has her eyes closed in anticipation... how long are you going to keep her in suspense? LOL

sally--

9 nights straight! Way to "take one for the team"! Don't tell my DF--he'll want me to take one for the team, too! LMAO I was expecting to see your coverline today, but when I wrote this you were still asleep, and now if I go back and check your chart, I'll lose my post! So hopefully it's there! lol...

Mannie--Was that pun intended with your "go with the flow" statement?

smallfryplus--I bled for 7 days after my m/c, then had a 25 day cycle, which is pretty short for me. I ended up taking extra vitamin B6 to help lengthen my LP, and now my usual cycle is 27 days. Unfortunately, everyone is different... some women go right back to their previous cycles, where others take months to regulate. On the subject of catching DH's interest at O time, or "keeping things interesting" I've discovered that watching a kinky movie is a great way to get him interested and ensure a grand finale! lol...

Shortcake--Sorry to hear about your trip to the ER! So glad to hear you're home recovering and taking it easy--you better not be unpacking, missy!

sunny--Sounds like you've been a busy bee! Hope your TWW flies by!

smi--You TAKE it from Lee, girl! Well...apparently you took it! I actually remember when you told us about that! That brings the whole "taking on for the team" a whole new meaning!

Greenslw--Good luck losing those comfort kg's! Hopefully after next week's FET, you'll just gain it all back--in all the right places!

megsmum--

for my fishy friend! Thinking of you always and sending lots of bellyrubs your way!

tutmae--I'll never forget that "annovulatory" cycle of yours! Big *hugs* for you and Charlie!

erybery--I'm sorry to hear that your angel's EDD is approaching. *hugs* I know that, for me, the lead-up was worse than the actual day... I bought a candle that I kept lit for the whole day in memory of my angel, and we also planted a pink hibiscus in our garden out front. I'm sure it's easier said than done, but try not to stress too much about it--it's all about remembering and honoring your angel, while you nurture that little fighter you've been blessed with! Whatever you decide will be special!

milly--Your welcome for the link!

I personally think temping/charting is a great insight to what's going on with your cycle. I didn't start out temping, tho... I began charting my CM & CP, but it just wasn't an accurate way for me to judge what was going on with my cycle. So then began my addiction--noooo, I mean my dedication--to temping. lol... I have also used OPK's, which worked well for me. They're all valuable tools, but by far, the temping is the most helpful in my case. As long as you get 3 hours of uninterrupted sleep, there shouldn't be any reason why the BBT wouldn't work with your shift work. Good luck, hon, whatever you decide. Just ask if you have any other questions--you're sure to get several different perspectives, which can be helpful in making a decision that works best for you.

coco--Good luck catching that egg

**Inanna** · May 1st, 2009, 12:33 PM

Erbery: Big hugs darling woman..

EDD's are difficult times - it just is bloody hard. Nothing will take that away. Knowing that there are others who truly understand can really help to unpack it in a safe place - and I hope soon this thread will return to a place of safety for that...

How you deal with your due date will be a very personal thing - for me it wasn't the actual day - as baby's are rarely born on their due date. It was around that time for a few weeks that I really felt fragile. For my 2 daughters and my son who were born in the second trimester they have a rose bush each. The Universe works in mysterious ways - and each year on the day they were born and died

those roses have been unfailingly in bloom.. I am not of Christian faith but I am very spiritual & I believe that the Universe is showing me just a little glimpse of their beautiful souls...

I never think why me - for the answer to that is why not? Sad, tragic things happen every day and I am not so special that they don't happen to me. What I do know though is that all that we are faced with is not an accident. There is a message in all that crosses our paths. Each of my babies (more so for me personally, my late loss babies) taught me something valuable. They also grew my heart bigger. Through the tragedy and sadness I can see that there is a light side too. For in this world there is always yin and yang, dark and light. Right in the moment of loss and for the time soon after - the lessons are not apparent - but when we look with open full hearts - there is something golden that our babies have left for us imprinted in our hearts... It just takes time...

I pray gorgeous woman that soon you will see a little glimmer of a rainbow - soon...

I remember never thinking it would come but it did for me eventually.

Something I have done is decorated a Christmas bauble just for my Angels - I hav done this around due dates - it felt constructive. I am blessed to have beautiful Women in my life that made small quilts for each of my 3 late loss babies - these are mounted on the wall of Imogen's nursery - those Angels watch over her - of that I am certain... Maybe something like that if you are crafty?

MY road to holding a live baby in my arms was so so so long - and so very very painful. For the longest time looking at those rose bushes made me sob - but now they make me smile. I open the box that I have stored inside me and let the sadness out sometimes - especially on Angelversaries - but mostly I give thanks for the light that they did bring that was very hard to find...

Part of the light was the miracle of Immy - even though it was harrowing (Imogen was born at 28 weeks and I was in hosptial for 5 weeks after her birth and 2 weeks prior - that's another story!). For me another part of the light was learning to really trust myself and trust the Universe. That was truly big.

Would I give it all back - well that is the unanswerable question - for really I can't go back I could only go forward. For me I decided that I wasn't going to allow them to die in vain. That I was going to make it count for something. But it is hard some days I felt I couldnt get out of bed. But I pledged that I would - that I would make it through.

Blessings and love to you Erbery - can you tell me your baby's due date and I will light my Kuan Yin candle as I do for all angels on their special days. I wish I could hug you in person - but I am sending it through the ether... Thinking of you Mama Erbery...

**jen805** · May 1st, 2009, 12:54 PM

sally--Bugger, no coverline! I think it's because you missed Wed's temp... guess we'll see tomorrow!

Huge apologies, I know I've missed some of you.... Angel, I think you got me beat--this time!

It's only 8:00, but I'm exhausted... and still have to do dishes!

Please, just cuz I haven't mentioned you, doesn't mean you aren't thought of and loved!

**Mannie2903** · May 1st, 2009, 02:55 PM

Just thougth I'd send this to all you lovely ladies and welcome back Angel Babies I just knew it was you!!! God Bless you all!and Im hoping we get more BFP's this weekend thinking of you Mrzbaby!!

And Jen - sorry yes it was a pun to the witch! I really really hate her sometimes!

Women have strengths that amaze men.
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
but they hold happiness, love and joy.

They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy
and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up to injustice.

They don't take "no" for an answer
when they believe there is a better solution.

They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel
and cheer when their friends get awards.

They are happy when they hear about
a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member,
yet they are strong when they
think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss
can heal a broken heart.

Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.

They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you
to show how much they care about you.

The heart of a woman is what
makes the world keep turning.

They bring joy, hope and love.
They have compassion and ideas.
They give moral support to their
family and friends.

Women have vital things to say
and everything to give.

HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,
IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.

**coco1411** · May 1st, 2009, 03:54 PM

Speaking of doing things to commemorate...

DH & I planted a tree called Orange Twist and it has just over the last couple of days, started flowering white fluffy flowers

Very happy! I cried when i noticed it and DH gave me a massive hug and we were just standing there looking at our "babytree"

*sigh*