Can you all give me your opinion please? no matter what it is!
I had an xray done on my teeth about 6 weeks ago now. They put that jacket thing on me.
At the ultra sound bubs heart stopped that same week and by the weeks and days that they say its the exact same day that i had the xray.
I stopped having morning sickness 2 - 3 weeks before the xray after the xray i got it back. Next day i think it was.
I honestly believe that bubs heart stopped because of me and it hurts. I dont want it to be true but its the only explanation and it all seems to be fitting in and everyones telling me that its not the reason.
The doctor that looked after me at the hospital said its definatly not the reason but its just it all fits in and its crap. If i didnt go the dentist maybe this wouldnt of happened?!
What do you think? I need honest answers its going around and around in my head and i just need the truth. I need an answer.
MissK: There was NOTHING you could have done to prevent it, that's the best and the worst thing about it. That dentist x-ray machine is extremely localised, and even if they pointed it straight at bubs it would take about 2 weeks of x-rays to make even a little bit of difference. I'm so so sorry that you lost your baby, but it wasn't your fault. You were looking after yourself by going to the dentist, it was a good decision. It's just a really crappy coincidence, in a really crappy heartbreaking situation. I'm sorry xoxo
Em: I was told there was no medical reason to even wait for AF before trying again, but plenty of emotional ones. I chose to wait one cycle, just cos I didn't wanna lose my mind wondering if AF was taking so long to arrive cos of the m/c or cos I was pregnant.
Dory: I'm with you, had a massive crying in the shower session. I hadn't really thought about it, but I had a chemical m/c in Jan 09 (wasn't trying - honeymoon baby, and some laziness with taking the pill), so it just hit me that I've lost 2 babies. I dont want a new baby, I want the ones I had alive and well. But I want this so much too, so I'll keep trying.
Iona Macca: Sorry for what brought you here, but hopefully you'll find some support, welcome
AFM: Not so good, CD30 no AF, but still BFN. I think this is just a long cycle. I just feel like time is slipping away.
MissK: don't go beating yourself cos no matter what it won't change the outcome. But i'm sure it wasn't due to the x-ray and like KitFaerie said just a crappy coincidence. I know how easy it is to beat yourself up though, cos my dates of when bubs passed was when I hurt my back at work- and now I can't bring myself to go back to work. I think start trying as soon as you feel ready because our bodies will know what to do.
KitFaerie: I hate that time slipping away feeling it's so painful!
Miss K - I don't believe your visit to the dentist had anything to do with the loss of your beloved baby. When I lost my first baby it was on a holiday in Canada. I blamed myself for taking the trip and despite every doctor assuring me it would have had no adverse effect on the pregnancy I still blamed myself. In the two subsequent pregnancies I did all that I could to make sure I was completely healthy and nothing I took or ate would cause any problems and yet I lost those babies too. I hope you can stop thinking so badly of yourself because you were obviously a loving, caring Mum to your little baby and you are not responsible for the loss.
Hey Girls.. Im doing little better today Kept my self busy..
BUT my AF was only for 2 days.. I have never had a AF that short.. my first cylce after my m/c was 5 days and this one is 2 days.. So i think im just adjusting back to my normal cycles even though i do have irregular af, but not 2 days..
So im back to the ticker to see what my chaces are next month maybe ill conceive on St Patty's Day =]
I want to welcome everyone that is new to the site and im very sorry that you had to join this forum.. but im sure you will fall in love with the girls as i did.. they are very nice and welcoming i been here since dec and i have met some nice ladies online
we had 4 nice days WITHOUT snow and then last 2 days its been hitting us.. since wednesday we have gotten 6 inches already AGAIN so the news is saying that where i live has hit the History mark for the Month of Feb in the USA to have the most snow storms and snow fall. we are stillgetting it right now hopefully it stops soon kiddos only been in school this whole month ONLY 4 days cause of the snow stroms..
Anyhow Ill do personals tomorrow.. About to shower and relax for the nite
Best of luck to you all TTW and TTC
Anita
Just popping my head in to say Miss K - definitely not your fault! Apparently you get as much radiation from a few minutes in the sun as you do from one of those x-rays. Don't beat yourself up - give yourself a pat ont he back for looking after your teeth while pregnant - not enough people do. I'm very very sorry for your loss. I'm a big advocate of the wait before TTC again. I had a forced 6 month wait - I'm not suggesting that long though! - and it was a really good time for us as a couple.
I reckon don't try, don't be cautious. That baby will be there when it's ready.
Kit - how good is crying in the shower? OK, so crying's sorta not good, but the shower's a good place for it. I cried on the bus when I got my last AF, and had no hankies or anything, I was a mess! But I broke out of it when the bus driver locked it up to avoid a koala crossing the road with a baby on its back.
Plucking your eyebrows is a great way to snap out of it if you're having a hysterical cry and you want to stop. (I've always been a crier. It doesn't take much)
How are all you other ladies going? Sorry I'm not round much. I lurk. Thinking of all of you lots of the time.
Hope everyone is going fine and enjoying their weekend.
Welcome to new members who have joined the thread in recent days, Sorry that you are here and trying to cope with the losses and suffering, but here the girls are just amazing and its like a small family sharing the same sorrow and trying to acheieve the same goal of embracing the motherhood. I wish all of you a very best and hope your TTC journey is short and sweet.
And to all my friends here, MurrayCod, Anita, CraftyMummy, T Hope, Sparkles, Snugglybean, Matthew's Mum, Ferrals, Loppy louise, SPF, Sunbeam...how are you feeling all?? Anita - Sorry that AF knocked at your door, but what can we say and do..well be ready for next cycle, pull your socks and be prepared and good luck this month.
I think this month is sicky month for us.. first it was me and now DH, suffering from cold, cough and fever (i am blaming everychanging weather of Mel)...but i am so mean machine that i told him to do BD on imp dates... and he said "you must be joking right"...poor hubby...
thats why i am away, i am praying that his health gets back to normal. So i dont know about this month.
I will try to do the detailed post again.
Ferrals - thanks alot for sending me the Montage, once again...its very heart touching. when are you testing? all the best.
i know you and crafty mummy are the gizmo gals...i too want one of those moniter, but its not available in OZLAND...there is a costco in Docklands (Mel),i dont know whether we can get it there or not???? Any melbournians been to costco and saw the clear blue digital fertility monitor??
Craftymummy - Goodluck to you too for testing.
Murraycod - How are you? i am too demotivated, lazy and tired. i think its a phase we are in.
Morning ladies had a very busy extremely stressfull few days so i am looking forward to my day off today with all the kids at school or out for the day i will be back later tonight to have a chat.
Ric-crafty and i got our gizmos from the UK sight on ebay so you pay with paypal it is safe and real quick i have ordered a few things from there and i paid $120 for the monitor and $20 or $30 for postage.
AFM- i poas this morning of course a BFN which i new would happen why do i bother testing my eggs are duds.
Just a quick message to say I lost my 4th baby on Friday.... Obviously very devastated and have a lot of questions to ask. I can seem to carry past 6 weeks.... why?? I've had a lot of tests done and all come back normal. Is it my job? (involves heavy lifting, bending over, pushing and pulling trolleys) Are my hormones out of whack? Is my weight affecting my chances of carrying sucessfully? Should I be doing agility with my dogs? So many questions.... these are just the start. This one felt right from the start... extremely cranky, fatigued, irritated and sore boobs, stronger sense of smell..... only thing I didnt have was morning sickness.
I'm just thankful (as bad as it was) it happened Friday as I was away from home and hubby on the weekend. Hubby has been great but it hurts me so much to see him upset telling our mums and to hear him say he had a cry when I was not around.... he would be a great dad. I was meant to go back to work today.... I turned up but I couldnt do it, I saw one of my work mates and burst into tears.
Ohhhh, louie I'm so sorry to hear that. Can your doctor tell you anything? After 4 losses, I'm pretty sure it stops being "just one of those things" and there's more you can find out if you push for it. And we all want you to push.
Ferrals - bummed. I would love to call in on you for a cuppa and a big hug, but it's to too far.
Raining big ones here. I've got the day off. Going shopping in town - yahoo! We went out to a gig last night, it was such a beautiful night, with wonderful friends, I had a great time and it helped me to love my life again. I found myself thinking "I would have missed this." I know it wouldn't measure up to having a baby, but thinking that way is helping me along a lot.
CD10 - ready to get busy!
Looppylouie I am so so sorry this keeps happening.
I have been lurking but not posting. My heart breaks for all of you when I read that things aren't going as well as they should ie AF etc. Me I am a few days post O trying to not think about it. DH pulled the pin on our IVF plans so boohoo for me. I just hope it pays off and we are not heading down that road in another year or two because we are still not pregnant. He reckons we are too young but I know he is stingy and doesn't want to pay the money and not be guaranteed of a baby. It sucks as I was the one paying for it anyway. Oh well. There is no reason I can't get pregnant even with my one bodgy tube just trying to take comfort in that.
MissK - oh sweetie. I am so sorry that you lost your precious bubs and even more so that you have carried such a heavy burden of guilt for so long.
What happened is just a sad and heartbreaking coincidence. I think all of us who walk the path of loss have those thoughts and feelings of guilt, and "if only I" did or didn't do something. I for one have a bucketload, but thankfully, I was able to resolve any residual grief I felt, and in some cases I now make different decisions about some things and about others, I haven't changed what I do.
Each woman during a pg makes her own assessments of what risks we can and can't take and for each woman, the identified risks and conclusions will be different. For a woman who has a loss this task becomes even more overwhelming. I was, by comparison to now, much more blase in my first pg than the subsequent ones. Like someone said though, all the care I took in each subsequent pg didn't alter the outcome. It's almost tempting just to throw caution out the window and be wild and reckless -at least that would be a lot of fun, but that's not me. I couldn't live with myself if I did that.
But, ultimately, you are the one that has to resolve those feelings for yourself and work out what is right for you. We can all give you advice, but you have to do the hard work of sorting through how you feel. Hopefully the advice you receive helps you with that.
I honestly refuse to believe that for most women that we and our pg are so fragile that it can be interrupted by daily life activities. It's just a heartbreaking tragedy that some of us experience loss of our precious pg.
I waited at least a cycle before getting back into TCC after the first 2 m/c, but a lot longer after that. You will know what's right for you. I knew I was up for TCC when I was actually really excited about the prospect, rather than only totally fearful.
Loopie - oh my sweet blossom. I am so so sorry to hear of your most recent loss. It doesn't get any easier the more you have huh? it hurts just as much if not more, the only thing that perhaps is different is that you no longer have as much shock that it happened or that it happened again. As much as we hope for the dreamed outcome, I think we "recurrent-ers" almost expect a sad outcome. Well I do.
I read a book called Is my Body Baby Friendly by Dr Alan Beer. One of the theories he pioneered is about natural killer cells in the uterus, which it seems leads to early m/c It is very controversial, but there are a couple of Dr's in Sydney who investigate this. One is Dr Sachs ( I think he is at Sydney IVF Bondi Junction, but he does telephone apps). There is a another Dr in Sydney but I can't recall his name - it begins with a W. The difference between them is primarily the treatment they use. I understand from my own enquiries that a uterine bioposy is taken at a certain stage of your cycle and is NKC are high, then you can be offered treatment. My GF had a bioposy taken by her FS and the pathology was sent to Sydney for assessment. I would recommend you call and at least make some enquiries. I am not a medical expert at all but the book and my own enquiries opened up my mind to a whole range of possibilities.
Knowledge is power girl. I know its hard. It took me ages to summon the courage to call them, but once I did I felt so much better. It doesn't seem to be an option for me, but anecdotally a lot of people have had success. 60 Minutes did a feature on a woman who had endured an amazing( incomprehensible) number of m/c before she was treated by Dr S, and now has a bub.
KIT - hugs sweets. Hope it's not just a long cycle.
FERALS - enjoy your day!
TTCALC - good to hear you got a break from the snow? How are you doing?
RIC - Poor you, poor DH. Get better real quick so you can be BD'ing very soon again. Make him so extra healthy meals and make him rest so he keeps some good health up and load him up with Vit C and antioxidants. He'll think you are pampering him but really it is your cunning plan to reduce disappointment.
Mildez - Bugger. Did DH say why he wasn't keen? For some blokes they use money as an excuse to cover their fear. There are no guarantees with IVF, but a lot of people have success. You might be one of them. Maybe if you talked to him about how important it is for you and try and get out of him what he's really thinking?
Murraycod - how you doing? IT"S MARCH!!!!! I am vicariously excited for you. I know what you feel about being unmotivated. I think I am living proof of it. Whilst I am really glad to have given up work and whilst I know my job now is to rest, I can't be bothered most of the time doing anything much at all except sleeping and watching tv and resisting the temptation to come on to BB twice a day. I can't even be bothered to go to the video store or to read a book. I hope I can get my mojo back when I need it.
Hi to everyone else. I miss you, I think I have exhausted myself in this post and need to go rest. Ha! Have a god day.
To all our newbies I'm very sorry you're journey has not been good. I hope this site and thread brings you as much care and support as it has me over the last 10 months.
Louie- I am so sorry you've lost your fourth. I totally understand how that feels, it's heartbreaking. Do you know what tests they have done for you? There is a very comprehensive list on the TTCAMAL main thread. Maybe there is something they have missed. Do you have a fertility clinic? Often they have a recurrent m/c unit that might be able to offer some hope. Again I'm so sorry
Hugs to everyone More persies later.
AFM-I'm just off to start my blood tests to see if they can figure out a reason for my recurrent m/c. I'm hoping they find something but at the same time I hope it is something easily fixed.
Just popping in to say im doing ok.. Just been soo Busy getting this ready for court on the 4th for my step son & his sister( hoping for full custody that day)
Welcome to all newbies and soooo sorry for loss .. you in my prayers
Dory im doing ok yeah finally got away from snow .. now there talking about March might be a snow month.. no way im not ready for it at all..
Ric miss seeing ya in here!!!
Everyone else Best of luck and ill get back in here soon Been crazy around here
Hugs and love to all!!
I wanted to come in here tonight and have good news and see some positive post's now i dont know what to say how can it be possible to have such a hard time trying to bring a baby into this world why is it so unfair we go through so much heartache month after month loopie louie i am so sorry you have had another loss you have brought tears to my eyes i just cant believe we are all having such a difficult time i am at a loss with my own body never had a problem before and now i feel like it will never happen.
Sorry for the misery post i am due for AF so premenstral and moody.
missK I know what you mean.
Registered User
maybe ill conceive on St Patty's Day =]
and he said "you must be joking right"...poor hubby...
I am so so sorry this keeps happening.
I'm very sorry you're journey has not been good. I hope this site and thread brings you as much care and support as it has me over the last 10 months.
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