HannahD--So sorry to hear your brother has also been dx with depression and anxiety! I think you're right, tho, that you both have to work out your own feelings before you can help each other! It's hard to properly focus on one problem, when you're facing a huge problem of your own that you're tying to wrap your mind around. Only you can determine whether meds are the right path for you... I've had both favorable and unfavorable experiences with them myself. I think that it's great that they now have a test to determine if a person will respond to the treatment! Maybe that's the first step in your decision making process.

I remember telling my DF that I didn't think I would ever be happy until I was pg again... and honestly, I still feel the same way. It's easy for me to become immersed with everyone else's problems here on bb.... it's really the only time that my mind isn't on my own probs! I think with age, it's gotten to the point with me that it's just easier to somehow try to ignore what's going on inside myself... it's like I have to completely cut out any thought process about myself and my feelings. I think that's another reason why I dove into the fundraising at the school... it's the only way that I can keep my mind distracted! If there's ever a time when I'm bored, and don't have anything to do, my mind will wander to the little 4 mo. old that's supposed to be consuming my time... and, I swear... I don't even know how to explain it... it's like nothing else matters, but because I hide it so well, you'd never know it! It's the only way that I can protect myself from myself (if that makes any sense at all!). I'm sorry.... here I was leaving you a post to try to help you feel better, and it ends up being about me! I just wanted you to know that you're not alone... it's truly such a lonely feeling when it feels like nobody understands what you're going thru. The only thing that ever makes me feel better is knowing that I'm doing all I can to help someone else fight the same fight--the battle of a broken heart. To put a smile on someone's face... to brighten their day... to make them realize that they're special and worthy... I didn't know how to do that before--or maybe I was so involved in myself, that it just didn't occur to me that there were people out there that needed it!

For some reason, Hannah, you're on my mind all the time! I worry about you so much! It's ironic that we've never even met... somehow I feel so connected with you and what you're going thru, maybe because you remind me so much of myself, I don't know. I just want you to be happy--and know that you really are happy and you're not just hiding it well! I want to read a post by you, and be able to feel your happiness and excitement emanating thru your words.... I know one day soon you'll be announcing your BFP to us--and honestly, I'd pay God to give you your forever angel before he gives me mine! Your happiness has become my goal!

I'm sorry that your EDD is coming up... it's tough, I know. My anniversary for my m/c is Mar. 5 (the day before my b-day). I've decided in honor of my little angel I'm going to do something that I never in a million years thought anyone could get me to do: I'm going to do a tandem skydive! I'm going to soar above the clouds with my angels! I'm slightly anxious, but I think it will be liberating somehow... hopefully I won't end up like my MIL!

I'm thrilled that your dr. asked you to do something nice for yourself! It's about time--you deserve it! Retail therapy always works well in cheering me up... but you know, Shortcake mentioned a spa... or maybe a massage--I've never done either--but I've heard it's amazing! Take care of yourself, hon, and please don't feel like you can't post if you don't have anything positive to say! We're here for you whether you're happy or sad--that's what friends are for!

Sorry for such a super long post! Will be back later for the rest of persies--that took a little longer than expected, and now I have to get DS ready for school!