Trying to Conceive after Miscarriage/Loss - June 2009

[Anila]

winge away sunny, i so know what u mean about having long cycles, i was sure i od back at cd 17-19, i had o pain that i normally get, i just give up, i am so at lost with my cycle, and my dr wont do a bt till ur 6/7 weeks from lmp. And its been 6 weeks today, so if no af and no bfp on fri i may go aand get a bt then.

[Anila]

Well i was just texting my cousin, some may remember she was further along than me, but had her mc a week after mine, and i told her that im still waiting for af, well she said she got hers at cd 25, *sigh*. But her mc bleeding stopped a week before her af started, my mc bleeding was only a week long. Why does this extra long cycle feel like such a tourture, i wish the spot and tinge cm was my af, but i dont think so, i wish it was implantation, but i dont think so.
I wish i knew what was going on..

[coco1411]

I got my AF a week after i would normally...um..i cant remember what day, but its on my charts. I didnt have spotting mid cycle..And my nxt period, while a little heavy or crampy, was otherwise normal.

Hope something happens for you...maybe you know what??? I know what to do to bring AF on, and it ALWAYS works for me!!!

Go draw a bath with a nice oil or something, give your WHOLE body a do-over, you know, shave your legs, pumice your feet, body scrub, paint your nails, do a mini facial, then do your hair nice and put some sexy undies on and seduce your man...and BAM af ALWAYS starts when i do this hehe...

[SuperstarMumsy]

Can I join you guys? It looks as though my bub has died (doc says 95% chance) as I should be 7w3d and the us measured 5w3d, but I am very very sure of my dates, so I have to have my hormone levels checked again tomorrow and he has said he will then refer me to the hospital. Can anyone tell me if they have had to have a op in the hospital when the bub has passed? This is the first time I have been pregnant and am feeling very down about the whole experience and just feel so empty! It is so bizarre to go from the elation I have felt to the sorrow and sadness I am currently experiencing. I dont even know if I should be in here as I am still carrying.

Also, I am very keen to start trying again does anyone know the timeframe that I should expect to be try again if after I have the op?

Thanks for your assistance

[coco1411]

Superstar:

Sorry hunni, have you been bleeding? Or was there not a heart beating? Cant belive they didnt confirm anything while you were there!!! Hoping by some chance the little one is ok xxx I didnt have an op, i had a natural m/c bought on with the same stuff they give to women to bring on a labour. But anyway, they said I could have the op but i voted against it because I had a D&C when i was a teen and didnt want anything else to hinder my chances of conceiving again.

Hope you find some answers soon!!!

Ps...dr said if i had the d&c just had to wait a full cycle to let the uterine lining the bulk up again enough for healthy implantation.

[India's Mum]

Hi Anila

I always feel I have to tell people I just lost a baby - I don't know why. I think that will just run it's course and I will stop saying it when I don't feel I need to anymore. My brother and his wife lost their baby daughter a few years ago but when I run into old friends and they ask about my family I always mention her because it feels like a lie to say my brother only has three boys and then I feel foolish afterward. I feel the same sort of foolishness now when I tell people I just lost one. DH is very much into minimalist conversation and even he has told people we lost a baby when I wouldn't have expected him to.

[India's Mum]

Hi Superstar

We had to wait 12 hours for confirmation as well and the wait was agony. I kept hoping the first Doctor was wrong but sadly he wasn't. He used a very old ultrasound but said he couldn't confirm until they could get me a more sophisticated ultrasound.

I didn't have to have an D&C as my body got rid of things itself a couple of days after the M/C was confirmed. I was 11 weeks but there was no baby to be seen and the sac looked as though baby had stopped growing at 8 weeks. Also my hormone levels dropped back to almost zero in a short space of time. My Doctor says have one period after the cycle and then you can begin trying again. I hope this helps.

[Sunbeam]

Hi superstar- I'm glad you felt able to join in and I hope we can offer some support . I'm very sorry to hear about your situation I know the wait is agonising. I really hope your little bub is still okay I m/c naturally the first time but had a d&c the second time. I never even though to say no as I was so exhausted and dopped up on morphine. I think there are choises though and you should get more info to decide what is right for you if that time comes.

Hi to everyone else. It was so lovely to know I was missed, you are all so gorgeous

[Anila]

awe Superstar hunni, i offer u hugs and my support just like the other girls, i pray that bubba is still ok, and that u get to hear a heat beat soon.

sammy thanks for that, i feel better knowing im not the only one.

[KM1]

Hi Superstar for you and your little one...if the news isnt good then you are definitely in the right place. I m/c my first pg in April and would have been lost without these beautiful girls. Am thinking of you

Anila I hope RB comes for you soon, I too have no idea when it will turn up, after so long bleeding I don't know when to start counting from, as in CD X...so don't know if I am on the TWW or not...i hope you get some certainty soon

Coco good luck with your FS appt

Hi to everyone else and to all.

K

[milly5]

Hi Ladies,

Anila - I think it is fine to tell people that you lost one. I personally think that people have no right to ask. I am always getting asked "when are you having kids" and it PEEVES me no end. I don't believe it's anyone else's business if and when we have kids -I don't see them in the bedroom! Being 37 and with no children I am asked this alot.
If they feel bad about the answer, well then that's their bad luck. Sorry for sounding harsh, but that's my soapbox.
I just found it a really hurtful question when we were TTC and not succeeding, and just as hurtful following the m/c. I sooo wanted to say to the fat cousin that kept asking me (about having kids), "when are you going to loose weight?" but of course THAT would be rude and personal.

Hi Superstar, and sorry that you are here. I hope you have some answers in the morning.

Hello everyone else!!

[TinaR]

Hey all,

Sammy - i can't believe they would charge twice, what a kick in the teeth i hope it is covered by insurance for you.
Anila - I've still got my fingers, toes, arms and legs crossed for a BFP for you! i've also blurted out twice this week to work colleg that we just lost one. I think it is cause I got a bad cold when I was first preg & had time off, then M/C and time off now a cold again and everyones like - oh you are still sick and next thing you know you blurt it out!

Superstar - hi, sorry you may need to join us and fingers crossed you do not. Ive had three natural m/c and one d & c from a missed m/c at 11wks (bub was only 6wks). Its really something to talk about with your doc and partner. The d & c I only had becuase of complications although in some ways it was good to know it was all over with and to try to move on. Some will tell you one cycle, others three cycles before you try again. Some lovely ladies on here have gotten preg and been fine straightaway so I don't know that there is a correct amount of time to wait. (I have tried immediately and am in the tww).
Sunny - with ur long cycle could it be?

I can't wait to be seeing BFP's all over the place in here. I wish I could test now...the waiting is painful. I;m desperate for that bfp but also petrified, the stress till at least 12wks will be horrid. I'll be giving up my city job straight away and will get part time out home. I knew this time that I needed to take it easy and kind of blame my bf for not giving me the support I felt i needed when I told him it was getting to much.
Next time I don't care - bubs number one and that will be my first priority. Makes me feel kinda guilty and there is a part of me that is 100% certain that I'd still be preg if I had of listened to my body like I knew i should have

[LittleOnes]

hi ladies, It's about me but it's just something I think we all need to be aware of as it never occurred to me...

I went to the doc this afternoon. Found out something interesting which has me a little concerned. When I mc at Easter, I didn't go to the doc because I was only 5 weeks and it all happened cleanly - so cleanly that I began to question if I was preg and if I hadn't been able to actually feel the embryo in there (like I can now), I would think it was chemical. Also, so many people said to me not to worry because it was only 5 weeks and unless the bleeding continued or I had fever etc. that it should be ok. This was backed up by all the info I read on the internet about early mc and how if it goes 'well' there's no need for medical intervention. So all that coupled with the fact we were away when it happened meant I never saw my gp until today. I had need to call a girlfriend and talk to her today about hospitals as I've decided to book in where she went, and she asked something about my blood type. I'm rh- and she said she is too. Said that I should talk to the doc about it and get my antibodies or something checked to make sure I'm still ok and don't need anti-d injection. When I mentioned to him that I'm rh- he asked me if I saw a doc after mc and when I said no, he said 'oh well, it's too late now, we'll just have to hope it's all ok.' Also said that if I get any spotting at all, I am to go to ob or to him for check up and to arrange anti-d injection.

So now I'm feeling a little worried but think I should be ok because I didn't even get any implant spotting so... (I'm also quite sure I'm now overreacting and simply feeling a need to find things to worry about since I'm so used to worrying about things!)

superstar - I hope so badly that you have not lost your littleone. But if you have, you will find such support in here.

re telling people you've lost a baby, I think that it needs to be done. I think people throw out that question (when you having kids etc.) without any thouht at all about if it's actually their business. Telling them that you've lost one may make them stop in their tracks before asking someone esle the same question and hurting another poor woman who has had her heart broken.

the love is there waiting to grow inside, I can't wait til it does.

[Cherished]

[QUOTE=Smallfryplus;re telling people you've lost a baby, I think that it needs to be done. I think people throw out that question (when you having kids etc.) without any thouht at all about if it's actually their business. Telling them that you've lost one may make them stop in their tracks before asking someone esle the same question and hurting another poor woman who has had her heart broken.
[/QUOTE]

I agree Smallfry! BUT I still didn't tell anyone... maybe because all the people asking are at work and I don't want my boss to know anything about it... If it were 'friends' I would tell them how insensitive it is to ask etc etc.... GOD people make me soooo mad now that I think about it again!

[TinaR]

Hey SmallFry - to my knowledge those with rh- required injections BUT if u r looked after it is not an issue...ur doc is aware so I am sure it will all be good for you
x

[Anila]

Makes me feel kinda guilty and there is a part of me that is 100% certain that I'd still be preg if I had of listened to my body like I knew i should have

o tina hunni, please dont ever feel this way, u and ur body did nothing wrong, unfortnatly this is just what happens.
I do understand the guilt, i think at some stage we have all been threw it, but it is never ur fault.

[Sunny Love]

welcome superstarmumsy! i too had to have a d&c, and in hindsight am glad because I was able to start grieving sooner, was prepared emotionally even tho i was and still am a wreck!) because of the op. i was very angry and hateful at the time that 'god' and 'mother nature' were making me remove my wanted baby through medical intervention, maybe still am, but we work through it TOGETHER us girls. thats the beauty of our forum! i hope you find some peace soon.

AFM: Still waiting, got a BFN this arvo. Aarrrgh!!!!!!!

Time to eat my slow cooked thai green curry and feel better!

Hi cherished goddess, and coco, LOVE THE NEW TICKER!! AWESOME! WHAT A GREAT THING TO COUNT DOWN TOO. EXCITING!

[LittleOnes]

thanks luvs