Hi Girls!! And Boy!!
Yes I am still here, irrational and loopy, but still here! XX
Tested yesterday and got the dreaded BFN, so hopes are all but lost once again just waiting for the witch to arrive i SPOSE!!
Was a little excited deep down but I don't want 5 babies at once, so I guess it is for the greater of all outcomes. Just feels a little depressing right now..........
DH and I have had a chat about next cycle, don't think we are going to thaw out Harvey no2, going to go ahead and do a full stim cycle we think.
It costs $3000 for a FET, and doesnt guarantee the blasty will survive the thaw process. We only got our money back this month because the cycle was cancelled before the thaw.
A full stim costs $8000. We have the money to do a stim, but not to do both, so I guess the decision was an easy one to make.
Atleast with a stim cycle we have much higher odds of getting an actual blasty transfer.
We were meant to wait until may/June, but I can't wait that long.
Guess I will ring Repromed on Monday and have a chat to FS about the decision we have come to. Will this ever work?
Sorry for the 'me' post darlings, I am a little consumed by the whole thing ATM, and I need to take a chill pill and relax, but I just can't.
Tegam, welcome to the thread sweetheart, sorry for your loss, and I pray that you get your healthy baby very soon XXX Baby dust to you XX
Murraycod i am glad that you and Mr Cod have come up with something that works for you, but i am still so sorry that you got that dreaded BFN. i thought you would end up with triplets after all this LOL
Ferrals- i can just see these little eggs running down on walking frames lol Slow and steady always wins the race! i hope it is true for you little eggs too!
Crafty- i really hope that you get to O this cycle i had no signs of O but still managed to get my BFP so hears hoping you are just not getting the signs!
AFM- Sorry i have to post a bit about me... i am freaking out, i feel like i dont belong anywhere now, i dont belong here but i am still a bit scared to post else where. I had my HCG levels done and they are only 167 i was exepecting them to be higher but apparently they still fit into the normal range for my dates. but i know you would all understand taht anything is freaking me out. I have another test on Monday
anyway i am really really sorry to post in here but i just need some lovely kind words lol
please tell me if you dont want me to post in here anymore!
Hey ladies just wanted to stop in and say hello...
Mummyof4.. hang in there sweetie and fingers crossed
Murraycod.. Im sorry sweetie BIG HUGS
Ferals... Sorry sweetie you will get your day i know you will hang in there and BIG hugs to you.
Tegam,Possum,Mildez..Wanted to say hello to you all.. Best of luck to you.
Alice... sorry Af came next month is yours finger crossed
Craftymom...Big hugs to you, and hope the best for you
to everyone else best of luck and my fringers are crossed for you..
AFM: Im so confused to this ticker it says 3 days till 25 day cycle and i got 9 days till i "O" but im still have AF..
from what i was told to count 14 days after your LAST day of AF..
its little hard now days having 5 kiddos around but we try when we have time
BIG HUGS TO ALL
Anita~
TTCALC-if you have the texbook 28 day cycle it would be 14 days BEFORE next AF but i use to be the texbook 28-29 day and i always O'd on day 11-12 now my cycle is 29-30 days and i O around day 13-15 so they say work out when your next AF is due and it should be 12-14 before AF you should O but as all of us know anything can change stress and illness can delay O so it's best to chart your cycle and use OPK's of some sort sorry i can't be any more help.
Kitfaerie-I am a bit sad maybe i have reached the stage where i am ready to say enough is enough i know technically we have only tried for 3 months but after 12 months of all this i just don't have much left in me i feel like if we make the choice to stop then i wont get hurt when it doesnt happen deep down inside i feel my baby days are done.
But i supose you feel the same after months of this.
MissK-sorry you are having such a hard time lately i know how you feel.
And about the CM i'm not much help i don't get any i just get very watery around 3 days before i O then nothing the rest of my cycle it's a pain i use to get the perfect ewcm when i was younger and heaps of it now nothing.
Murrycod-you are still with us good to hear from you and it sounds like you have a plan.
AFM-I felt a bit queasy for two days and light headed i had two days of period like cramping and felt so cranky and teary didnt want DH to touch me and have no desire for sex which is soooooo unlike me i just don't feel myself but i know i am not pregnant my boobs are sore but that is no different than any other month so basically i have no clue i wish i was one of these women who get MS straight away or the porno boobs some sign anything but no i just feel the same hormonal sooky self when AF is due i am sick of it just want to be pregnant and get to the CVS testing so we can know if it will be ok.
hi girls - well i tested again last friday and just as i expected - bfn. i feel so shattered. I spent friday in tears at work! just couldnt stop. yesterday only got worse. i went to lunch with a big group of girls that i used to go to school with and of course... i over hear one of them telling my best friend that she is 6 weeks preg. i was devastated. snuck of to the toilet to pull myself back together. i knew this one was coming but its the biggest sting ive had yet. i dont see her that often but we used to be very close friends. she is a lovely girl and so is her dh but i am so jealous it hurts. this is going to sound so childish but i feel like she has beaten me?? i know thats so wrong cause its not a game but it has ruined me. to top it off i got home after lunch to some spotting so AF is coming. was such a crap day. i havent stopped crying. my head is thumping and my eyes are so swollen they sting. i just feel like that big black hole that I had just started to crawl out of... swallowed me whole again yesterday. im so depressed that it scares me. why is this so hard, the thought of another month or another 6 months of this is so overwhelming. maybe i need to go back to my psychologist? cause im never going to conceive again if my head space is like this. im sorry girls, but im broken right now.
xx
ah T-hopes you poor thing I'm so sorry you feel like this. Just wanted to give you a cyber hug this is such heartwrenching stuff to go through. You need to rest and let yourself grieve - it's OK, it won't stay like this, it's just a really bad dip but yes, I think see your psychologist too just so he/she can keep an eye on things with you and make sure you don't get into a depression because you don't want that. Try not to think too far ahead - don't worry about this month or next month or six months time - just small steps, one at a time. Think about today, the next hour, and try to stay focused on the here and now or you will just get totally overwhelmed. It's OK to feel the way you are feeling - look at us all here - we all go through this in different degrees, it's a part of the sad journey we are all on and we're here for you. Deep breaths love. Let yourself feel held and know that this will pass. xx
MurryCod - hugs to you too and all the best for the cycle - very exciting!
Ferrals - I know it doesn't feel like it, but you are still young and I really do have a strong feeling about you and your DH having a baby of your own so please hang in there. Your baby days aren't over yet.
Kit - hope Edward is keeping you good company. Agg grr the TWW is awful but just because you feel different this month to when you were pg doesn't mean you're not - like you often say, it's not over til AF show's her witchy face. Maybe it'll be a lovely Easter bub for you next year if this one doesn't come?
MissK can't help you much on the mucus front - usually it is like egg white, and stringy - so if you have it between your thumb and finger you can stretch it and it won't break or be tacky in texture. It's good to chart, like Ferrals suggests, you'll get better at it the more you go along 'cause everyone is different. Good luck lovely.
TTCaLC - I think like Ferrals said, it's 12-14 days from the end of your cycle - probably a bit easier to work with. Gosh those kiddies are keeping you busy! Hope all is well with you.
Mummyof4 - you stay with us please. Stay here til you get your confidence to go into a bellybuddies group. We'll look after you and you so don't need to feel bad about posting here - you're very welcome I'm sure we all feel the same and I'd like to stay when I get my BFP 'cause I think everyone would understand the extra worries we've all had through being here in the first place.
See how I said when I get my BFP. That's me practicing extremely positive thinking when deep down I think it is highly unlikely. But maybe if I keep pretending, it'll happen.
Hi Possum, Mildez
Teagm - hello lovely - happy to see you are ready to TTC after everything that you've been through. I hope it's a quick visit and you're on your way to a BFP v. soon x
Crafty - any sign of your egg?
Dory - glad to hear it went well. Rest up and let us know how you are going. How many weeks are you now?
Just a quick one, have been trying to make the most of the nice weather the last few days!
Dory - Hope your doing well and taking plenty of time to rest!
Ferrals - I hope you are feeling better!
Alice - How are you doing? Hope Aunt flood has calmed down!
Kitf - yay for the 1WW!
Mummyof4 - As hard as it is, take a deep breath and relax! m sure everything will be fine
T-Hopes - If you need to see someone again, go for it! I can understand feeling broken, but we will all be here to help you put the pieces back together, Be brave Hun!
Missk - I found CM easy to chart with my first baby, now i dont stand a chance! From memory, fertile was clear and very stretchy like uncooked egg white, but that only was noticeable for about 12hrs....im not sure if that helped.
Murraycod - Im glad you and DH have worked out which way to head next, Sorry you got A BFN, i was really thinking one of those follies would have stuck
Sorry didnt get to everyone, Big hugs to you all.
Afm - Nothing happening, I think Im meant to be O ing, but i havent picked up any symptoms.....Dh Keeps saying the only egg he wants for easter is a fertilised one
He makes me laugh!
crafty-grrr that body of yours tell it your not ready for your hormones to pack it in just yet.
And i know what you mean about not being able to afford a FS we are debt free except the last few thousand left over from our IVF and i have some money in the bank but i can't bring myself to use it i would feel guilty taking that money away from my boys because i have already dipped considerably into my savings for all the medication and travel ect.i wont touch anymore but i am hopeing that my tax return will bump it back up but maybe you could look into a really good naturopath i was amazed at what they can tell about your body and hormones just from looking in your eyes and at your fingernails and tongue they are not cheap but no where near the cost of a FS and like i said my one got a 48 year old pregnant with her own eggs and i looked in her photo book of babies and there was a heap of ladies in there in their mid 40's so you are out of the running just yet and i know time is not on your side but just give it a little bit longer.
We have decided not to go back to our naturopath as she said our fertility is fine it is lifestyle that is effecting our eggs and sperm and stress and taking all the detox crap and avoiding all the food she put on our diet was just adding to our stress so we take all the tablets and good things to help fertility but we need to relax more and exercise and hope it happens.
Millyd-I am on day 10dpo today i am due for AF wed but as i O'd two days later i should be due on fri i don't want to test this month i don't know why just don't have it in me i hope you get a BFP you will be number 3 of the BFP's good luck.
Mildez-I am very proud of your Hubby for giving it everything cause as we know we can't get pregnant without them.
Mummyof4-If you need to stay a bit longer that is fine by me when and if i get pregnant i want to stay in this thread until i get my 12 week CVS results because i don't think i could handle going into the pregnancy thread with all the other pregnant ladies knowing that i have a 1 in 4 chance that i wont be making it past 12 weeks how can i talk positively to other mums to be when all i will be thinking about is doe's this baby have SLO and freaking out waiting for the results but if i did stay here i wouldn't talk about my pregnancy as in how many weeks i am and ultrasounds ect so i didnt upset anyone.
Murrycod-Hope you got my PM and i hope you are feeling a bit better today we can do this hang in there.
AFM-well 2 days until AF is suppose to be here by my period dates but by DPO dates i still have 4 days to go and i am 99% sure there is no baby this month so no Bday surprise for me and no conception on Abbi's Bday which would have made me feel like she is still with me but on the plus side for all us ladies who miss out on a 2010 baby any baby born after jan 1st 2011 that is when the paid maternity allowance kicks in so we will be able to take time off work and get so many weeks half pay i remember when the government passed the ledgislation i said to DH that would be right we miss out by 18 months cause Abbi was due in August 09 and now i am here and if we get pregnant now we qualify for it i don't know if i should feel sad or happy about that.
Hi ferrals,
I o'd 2 days later than usual too, so period would have been due tomorrow, but according to O is due thursday. Anway I tested this moning at 11dpo....BFN!!! Bllody hell. Iwas feeling so confident about my cm too. Anyway, hopefully all is not lost although I feel pretty down right now...
Dont give up hope though ferals. When I was pregnant with my daughter I was adamant that I was not, I wasnt even testing. I finally tested at cd35!!! with BFP...so sometimes we think we know our bodies, other times..not so much.
I hope it hapens for you though sweet xxxx
Sory no other persies, I am still getting used to this whole bb thing. I dont know how you ladies remember everthing, do you take notes???..
YOu are all amazing and so supportive
Love to all
xxx
Ferrals, thank you so much for the PM hiney, don't know what i'd do without you guys picking me up when I trip over my left foot all the time!XX
I am going to ring my FS thismorning to see what he thinks, and ask him if there are any tests I can do to see if I have an implantation problem or something, anything.
Crafty, I am so sorry you hav AF so darn earl, bebe, try hang in theere with me, I know it's hard. Sometimes I too feel like I want to give up, actually, not like I wan't to, but have to, before It consumes me to the piont where another 5 years fly by and still not acheived a thing, other than get older and crankier!XX
Chody, LMAO!!!! Yes, I do that too hun, I can assure you one thing, if I ever get a bfp ever, I won't be cleaning the bathroom or floors with any chemicals, will be bicarb soda lemon juice and a hint of vinegar for me!!! My house will smell like fish and chips!! But better that getting a domestos headache!! On a seriouse note, I miscarried the day after I scrubbed both of the showers in the house with domestos and it stunk, there is always something hinting in the back of my mind 'what if'..........
MillyD, I pray to god that you are pregnant, honey, I would not wish on anyone, that they have to stay in this part of the forums for as long as a few of us have had too. Not that the girls here arent fantastic, because they are my freash air at the moment, but it is lovely to see friends get to move on the way it is supposed to be XX
Mildez, going for a girl???!!! Girly sperm can live for up to 4-5 days if the conditions allow them!!! I hope that you did catch that egg XX
Bons, I honestly had my hopes up that some miracle happened and one of my folllies got fertilised too
I love what your DH says about easter egg!! That is so great!! Hope he gwetts his wish XXX
Alice, very lovely advice you gave mummy0f4 XXXXX How are you going??
Kit, and Thopes, I am half way through the fourth book, I know...I am love struck by a vampire!
Thopes darling, aaagh why do our bad days outnumber the good ones lately?? It has to be out turn soon, it has too XXXX Huggs to you darling XX
Kit, dunno what I am going to do when I finish this last book, will have to start them all over again, it has been a great getaway from this world, to another I wish I was in!!
My god can't beleive it took 4 books for Edward to do her!! Bella I mean..... I would have jumped him the first chapter!!!! LMAO!!! Sigh..................
MissK sweetheart so sorry to read of your bad day at the path clinic, hun, you are a strong girl, I do hope you feel a little better today XX
TTCALC, the first day of full flow AF is classed as Day 1 of your new cycle, so count back 14 days from then and that will be a pretty good indicator of when you O. I am not good at charting temps and things, but I do write a little note in my diary how I feel and what I feel. It is funny to go back and realise 'yes' thats right, thats when I Oed!! Try that mabey, and you may have an Idea for next month.
I am againds OPK's, a lot of girls here use them, my my FS told me to throw mine in the bin a year ago now! (look where that has got me though!!)
The CBFM that Crafty and Ferrals have sounds great though, mabey invest in one of those if you think your body is all over the shop!XX
Girls, sorry to forget a few,
Mummyof4 and my Darling Snugglybuggs, wish I was with you girls, I hope you are feeling wonderfull and healthy. Love to you XXX
And [lease stick around for the odd update, I love reading about how everyone is getting along XX
Dory, I so miss chatting to you all the time. Snuggly, see, no laughs since you went............miss you already soooo much XX
Take it eesy, I'm going to go ring my FS at Repromed XXXXX
Let you know how it goes XXXXX
hey girls - im back and in better spirits than yesterday! sorry about my big sook yesterday but today is a new day, woke up to find AF had arrived over night and my temp took a dive bomb. But I need to remember this is not the end of the world! I now have a 30 day cycle so thats good news! Never had AF this early in my life so my chinese herbs are working! I started my new round of herbs today (for day 1-4 of cycle) and im feeling ok! I think I just needed my day yesterday to mope around and stay in my pajamas and catch up on all my Gossip Girl, Greys Anatomy, Vampire Diaries and finished it all off the Notting Hill, nothing like a but of Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant! Ah it was grand!!!
Alice - thank you so much for your beautiful words yesterday, cant express to you how much you helped me! your an angel
crafty - have you seen a chinese doc b4?? Maybe a cheaper alternitive? And the herbs really do help elevate your mood and have really helped my cycle?? thank you for your lovely post to me too - your so gorgeous xx And I too wanted to kill my DH yesterday! Every word he spoke yesterday bugged me!! hhehe! But today i wuv him again! poor love!!!
mummyof4 - yeah of course stay around here, i will be the same too when its my turn. Im thinking of you today and praying your BT results are nice and high xx
murraycod - good to hear you are busy reading about our dreamy Edward! How delish is he huh!?! Let us know how the call with you FS goes ? xx
kit - how you hanging in there darlin? are you going to test or just wait it out? Its ok if its not a christmas baby... maybe it will be a new years baby!!!! Thats what im praying for now anyway!!!
ferrals - any news over there?? are you testing or waiting?
millyd - hoping a bfp is coming to you soon!! sounding good!
chody - yeah its scary isnt it? wondering when we do finally get our bfp, how will we handle it, i know im gunna be a stresser but i have such a better understanding of how precious pregnancy, i will treasure everyday xx
missK - when do you get your results back of the bloodwork?? x
anyways - i better go and adjust my ticker to my new 30day cycle!!!
xx
T-Hopes-no i havn't tested i am to chicken i don't want to know just yet but the only thing close to testing for me is my maybe baby i have read that just before you O you get ferning and if you are pregnant you get ferning i had ferning for 3 days around the time i O'd and then it has been dot's the rest of my cycle until yesterday and today i have a heap of ferning going on so that means my estrogen is high and it should be lowering when AF is on the way so i don't know what to think i will go and google it right now.
OOOH Ferrals, That sounds good.
I think I have just had a complete brain malfunction. So I tested and BFN this morning. Not FMU was about 30mins later as I was hiding from DH hahaha....sigh
Anway I figured that might have been too diluted and decided I would hgold for 3 hours and then test again. ayway lasted 1 hour, had to go...and of course i tested again...BFN.
Went and did groceries and noticed new test which apparently detects as low as 10ml/uI...so what do I do, purchase come home and test and alas, but no surprise BFN.
So I am 11dpo and have now tested 3 times, its not even lunch time and none were FMU...
PLease tell me someone, that there is still hope. Wouldnt 10ml/uI be detected by 11dpo?????
I have assured myself I am not testing now until 14dpo. I always think it doesnt effect me that much, but who am I kidding other than myself....I am so disappointed that I couldnt even get a faint BFP on the 10ml/uI...
Ferrals honey I hope hope hope you are pregnant. I just tasted the chicken I bought so I cant even spit to test for ferning... My Goodness, its only early too....
love and massive amounts of baby dust
xxxxx
T-hopes - I feel the same. Its in our faces! Which is crap and hurts. My SIL is pregnant and lots of my friends. (though i dont see the friends much these days) it hurts. Im happy for them just sad for myself. Ive been thinking about going back to the Psychologist too. It helps. I hope you find your strength soon.
Bons - LOL @ DH! That would be great!
Chody47 - Hugs. Im trying to be careful too. I hope you get a positive result asap and somehow you and all of us can have a not stressfull pregnancy asap.
Millyd - Glad you had an awesome time away. Its proberly exactly what you needed. Fingers crossed.
Craftymummy9 - Glad your feeling better and didnt walk out. Sorry your havng such a hard time. Hugs
AFM: Thanks for the answers. Im pretty sure i was. We have DTD a few times so maybe
We will get the positive result. Though it is the first AF that ive had since it all happened. I was ging to diet for a month to lose some weigh befor we started trying but now that we have DTD so many times while im pretty sure i was O. Im scared to incase it has stuck. Im off to get the pregnancy vitamins today the doctor said to start taking them a month befor we start trying so i think i might get them into me now incase.
Are you all taking them?
ferrals4 - Hugs Its crap that you are finding it so hard. I hope you odnt have to wait much longer.
mummyof4 - CONGRATS! Thats great to hear!!!!
woulsloveabubb - Hope yall works out soon.
Dory - glad your feelin better. .
I get my bloodtest results on the 8th april.. Fingers crossed.
sorry Af came next month is yours finger crossed 
I'm so sorry you feel like this. Just wanted to give you a cyber hug 
this is such heartwrenching stuff to go through. You need to rest and let yourself grieve - it's OK, it won't stay like this, it's just a really bad dip but yes, I think see your psychologist too just so he/she can keep an eye on things with you and make sure you don't get into a depression because you don't want that. Try not to think too far ahead - don't worry about this month or next month or six months time - just small steps, one at a time. Think about today, the next hour, and try to stay focused on the here and now or you will just get totally overwhelmed. It's OK to feel the way you are feeling - look at us all here - we all go through this in different degrees, it's a part of the sad journey we are all on and we're here for you. Deep breaths love. Let yourself feel held and know that this will pass. xx
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