Trying to Conceive after Miscarriage/Loss - September 2009

[craftymummy9]

Hi Scareypinkfairy

So sorry to hear about your loss the exact same thing happened to me 3 weeks ago and it is so hard to take in the fact your baby has died. I had a D&C on sept 3rd and have been trying again since I stopped bleeding just want to fill this empty feeling I have inside. I have done this before and have gone on to have healthy babies so I know it will come right in the end it just takes some of us a bit longer and a bit harder but the end prize is what makes it all worth it in the end. So keep positive and soon you will be doig another test and seeing those lines change colour ! not too long for all of us I hope !

[scarypinkfairy]

hey alx, welcome does not seem the right thing to say, as no one wants to be in this thread, but all i can say is i know how you feel.

craftymummy and snugglybean, it was the worst feeling ever and it's horrible to know you have been through the same thing. to get a third of the way through the pregnancy then to be told your baby is not growing is devastating. i knew straight away i could see the sac but no baby. my dh has not eaten since we found out and he is worrying me.

good luck with your amnio zstar

hey twin sister, were we in the belly buddies group together? i was due end of march. hope you are doing ok.

[bookworm12]

Scarypinkfairy and Alx, I'm so sorry for your losses. You'll find great support in this group. Alx, I also found out there was a problem at a routine scan at 9 1/2 weeks--I went home in shock. I was so excited to hear a heartbeat that day, and instead got the terrible news that the baby was underdeveloped. They had me come back for a more detailed scan two days later, and the little one was about 3 weeks too small with no heart activity.

I'm trying to not think about the TWW, as it's still about a week before AF would appear on schedule. I'm trying to do some nice things for DH this week, as his birthday is on Saturday. We went out to dinner last Saturday and I'm going to cook some of his favorite things this week. At least I got to enjoy the sushi on Saturday, as I try to look for positives in the current situation. I'll have to switch my choices around to the cooked items after we get a BFP.

Here's hoping to lots of BFPs in here next month!

[murraycod]

Hello dear Ladies XXX

Alx I'm sorry for your loss, I was just under 8wks, but even being early doesn't make it any easier my darling. I'm glad that you found this forum, we are all here to help and support you. DH and I started trying as soon as we had a fresh cycle. But decided that we didn't want to risk taking anoth 4yrs for a miracle to happen so began IUI treatment after 6months.

ScaryPinkFairy I hope that you and DH are getting through this rough time.

HannahS how are you?? .........

TwinSis hope you can get your cycled sorted out x

Bookworm looks like we are POAS buddies this month!


Bonelige have you caved at testing yet???? Good luck on thursday, sending fresh babydust your way XX

Zstar good luck with amino test, and to Chickybabe, TinaR, Maddison

Hi Ferrals I know youre lurking too!! XXXXX

Now hope I don't forget anyone, am so so sorry if I do,
Eliselouise
Tanya,
Hearts
SammyP,
Matthew'sMum
HubbaBubba,
Srarangelk
Milly5,
Snugglybean
Flowerchild,
Sparkles
CraftyMummy
Coco, geez I think we need some BFP's in here very soon
The sadest thing is that we are all here because we have lost something so very dear to our hearts.

I just want to thank everyone here for being so nice. You really are a great bunch of girls, this forum is a godsend for me

Have a lovely evening all XX

[Matthew's Mum]

Twinsister-hope your body works out what it's doing soon...Bookworm-hope af stays away...Scarypinkfairy-Hugs to both you and dh,it's hard on them as well,when i had to tell mine that the baby's heart had stopped beating i saw him cry for the first time it's just heartbreaking for the whole family.There are councillors that who can see you as a couple.

[Matthew's Mum]

Murraycod-Thanks for the lovely post,how are you doing?

[murraycod]

Not 2 bad Matthew'sMum,
Thank you for asking X
I will be 9DPIUI when I wake up in the morning so I'm surviving let's put it that way!! The cramping I had on day 5 6 and 7 PIUI has stopped completely, feeling pretty normal
I hope that you are coping ok too

[craftymummy9]

Murraycod that was such a lovely post thanks for including me on your list.
Its so sad we are all here for the sad reason we all lost a much wanted baby.
I see your chart is very close to mine so maybe we can have baby dust together sent our way. I am new to this and some of the shorthand is confusing to me can anyone tell me what all these symbols mean Afs and so on I have no idea ! must be my age I am one of the oldies on here at 44

[Twin Sister]

craftymummy - LOL it's not your age, it's hard to remember all those abbreviations, here is a link to their meanings:
http://forums.bellybelly.com.au/foru...-acronyms.html

Matthew's Mum & murraycod - thanks it's finally sorted itself out thankfully

Murraycod - when do you get to find out if IUI was successful?

scarypinkfairy - yep we were in bellybuddies together. I was due at the end of March as well. I'm sorry to see that you ended up in here as well. Hope you're doing ok too

Hi to everyone else. Hope you all are having a good week.

I'm having another off day. Why are some people so insensitive? Today another a friend of mine (a pretty new friend but she knows about my m/c) told me she was pregnant (that makes 5 now - ugh). The insensitive part was the way she was gushing and prattling on and on about it for like 10 minutes. She didn't think she could be PG as they weren't really trying yet but she was a few days late so she tested and "surprise"... blah blah blah blah. I mean it was nice of her to tell me and all, but knowing I'm still sad about my recent loss, she could have toned it down a little. AF arrived for real today so I'm feeling a bit crampy and cranky.

[Alx]

Hi to all, thank you so very much, I was an emotional wreck yesterday, crying non-stop (blast those hormones) but today feel a lot better. It is so sad reading all your stories. I hope we all get some positives happening too. Again thank you Alx

[starangelk]

Hi all - it sure is hard to keep up in here, I just love the fact that everyone is so supportive and understanding.

I am at the office so can only do a few personals sorry but will be back later.

Twinsister - I am so sorry that your friend wasn't more sensitive. IKWYM and have been having these horrible flashbacks to when I was younger and a woman at my office lost her baby at 20 weeks and I am sure I would have said something insensitive, of course unintentionally. I think until you have been through it, you just don't know how bad it is.

Alx - hope you are feeling better today, sometimes a good cry day is a positive thing because the next day is so much better.

Murraycod - you wrote such a lovely post, thank you for thinking of me even when I don't post very often.

Bookworm - we think the same. When I was trying to reason with myself to show myself that different times in the cycle can be positive instead of wasted I reminded myself about sushi

AFM - I just have a question for you all. What was your first AF like after MC? TMI warning - I was expecting mine yesterday and I have been spotting since Saturday afternoon. Usually my AF comes quite heavily exactly on time and stays for 3 - 4 days and goes on her merry way. But this time, I don't even know if I would call her light or I would still say I am spotting. There is nothing on the liner and I am only noticing when I wipe. When I do wipe, there is either brown discharge or dark red mucousy blood. I just want AF to come properly and leave Is this normal?

[Matthew's Mum]

Morning Everyone,Murraycod-Fingers crossed that af stays away...Twinsister-Sorry,after a loss there seems to be a pregnancy convention everywhere you go, Ifound that part does get better with time,hugs...Alx-Glad today is a better day...Stranglek-Everyone seems different with af after loss,my doctor told me our bodies can still be in shock pyshically as well as emotionally,a miscarriage is just so an un-natural process for our bodies to go through.Hope it sorted out for you soon.

[luna moth]

starangel - I had similar spotting that started about 5 days after my d & c, and last for 10 days. AF came 31 days after the d & c and started lightly, but only for a few hours, and then it was the heaviest bleed I have ever had in my life - getting up at night to change pads etc. Was a real pain because I had been planning to wear a white dress to the races the next day - needless to say that didn't happen!
So, today is exactly 3 months until we start TTC again! It's not our official date, but it's 3 months til we go to Japan, adn we're going to start trying that week. So that doesn't feel like long - it means that we're halfway there! Trying to finish up my list of things to do before getting pg: scuba diving, crowd surfing, skiing (check!) eating runny eggs, raw fish (don't normally eat fish but am going to do so just for the sake of it!) what else can you add, girls?

[India's Mum]

SnugglyBean - Got any warts? Apparently you can't use chemist wart rid preparations when you are pregnant.

[bonelige]

scarypinkfairy and alx- bug hugs for you

twinsister- bittersweet abut AF, at least you know it's there now and your body is ok but you still didn't want to see it at all. i was a timebomb when i got my first AF after losing our bub. I had a friend like yours, woudln't really say she was a friend though. and she was in my face constantly about her 3rd accidental pregnancy. she couldn't understand at all why i was upset about it. we don't talk anymore.

snugglbean what great advice...about bringing up the loss with people and not expecting them to. i was a bit wondering why my SIL ignored the whole topic as she'd been there a few yrs ago herself. that coudl be why, she may not realise i am open to talk about it

zstar good luck with your tests

starangelkfirst AF was brownish for about 2 days then full on normal. it was like that again for 2nd AF.

Murraycodi caved in. i've done a few tests lol. done on mon at 10DPO using firstresponse. BFN. read the instructions and it says test on first day of missed period. (due tomorrow or friday)so got hopes up and did anther test this morn..BFN. so i rang the hotline to ask if i test earlier than first day of missed AF will it show up. she said probably not and she doesn't recommend testing until later.
so now i'm all worried that AF won't even show because it's all i've been thinking about all month(AF and TTC) that what if i didn't even O so AF won't come and that'll just p*** me right off as my body has been like clockwork for years.

[luna moth]

SnugglyBean - Got any warts? Apparently you can't use chemist wart rid preparations when you are pregnant.

Or cold sore creams - they interfere with DNA replication. I'm not that keen on getting warts or cold sores though!

bonelige - It's a great strategy. People have amazed me since I've been using it. One girl - an incredibly close old friend, and one of the first people I told - approached me on the weekend and had done all this research on molar pregnancy and wanted to talk it all through with me, and I was so touched that she cared so much.

I've also noticed that people really want to dance around it. A lot of people will refer to it as "that terrible business" or "when it all went down" and people do hesitate before saying "miscarriage" or "lost the baby" I find that the more I can say it without hesitating in front of them, the less they do it.

[bonelige]

that's so lovely of your friend!!Hardly any of mine talk about it unless i bring it up. We named our baby, and buried him and planted a rose. so now when i refer to the rose i call it by our baby's name. i never want to make people feel awkward but i never want to push my little baby to the back of my mind as if he wasn't important. hopefully people will understand that.

[luna moth]

We went the other way round - we have some flowers that were planted the same weekend that we conceived. So we named the baby after the flowers.