Trying to Conceive after Miscarriage/Loss - September 2009

[Matthew's Mum]

Bonelige & Snugglebean-Ifound naming my baby helped,hope you found that as well.If you feel like sharing [what's their names]

[starangelk]

Hi ladies

I know you what you guys mean about friends and people either saying the wrong thing or not knowing what to say. Even today my best friend asked me if my issues would be because of "the other business" I know she didn't mean any harm but by speaking about the mc like that, it seems like it is something not to be spoken about whereas I am quite happy to discuss it, in fact it helps.

AFM - this morning I got took a HPT and got a positive. Because I didn't believe it, I took another test. However, I am not really feeling excited, just more scared. I am a tiny bit excited tho. The main reason I am not excited is because I have been spotting since last Saturday and I would say I am having a very very very very light flow. Actually it isn't really a flow as it is mainly there only when I wipe but it is bright and red. So that is all very scary to me as I associate bleeding with mc. The dr assured me that it could just be implantation bleeding and we just need to wait and see what the BT bring. So just waiting waiting........

[Matthew's Mum]

Starangelk-Sounds promising,waiting hard but hopefully the outcome will be worth it.Good Luck

[scarypinkfairy]

yeah sounds good to me staranglek

i went to hospital today and had the tablets, and they are doing the trick but so much cramping. well i hope they do work so i don't have to have d&c. i've never had a general anesthetic before. have to go back friday and have another ultrasound to see if the tablets have worked

i went to hairdresser earlier to have a dramatic change just to do something for myself, and when i got there she was discussing with another client how her 18 yr old niece was accidentally pregnant and she and her partner had no where to live, and the client had a similar story. it's like everywhere i go it's baby talk

[Matthew's Mum]

Scarypinkfairy-sorry about the pain,I didn't wont a d&c ,was waiting to see if my body would do what it had to do and it did 3 days after we found out he had died,thinking of you.

[murraycod]

StarangelK, Sweetheart congratulations getting a BFP!!!! I completely understand how you are feling right now, like you can't celebrate or get excited...attatched. I can't wait to get by BFP but am terrified of it at the same time. Rest easy,

Craftymummy sounds like we gotta get a hattrick going!!! POAS buddied we are, see who can hold out POAS the longest!!!! (Peeing On A Stick) U'll get the hang of it babe!
Bet u I lose!

SPF I had to nurse a lady at work a few months ago that had to take those dreaded tablets you have taken, they work well but can get painfull, hope your sitting round in your PJ's resting up watching DVD's with DH.

Snugglybean....Soft cheese and lots of wine!! I'm craving now!!!!! The wine that is!!!!
When I got AF at the start of the month DH took be for a booze cruise down the river with the dogs, drowned my sorrows with a few JBeam and Coke!! Loved it. Mmmmm

Hope the crampyness settles by tomorrow for you TwinSis, I could blabber and blabber about the insensitive mates I have to put up with...avoid, but I'll save it no doubt I'll have a bad day soon enough and let it all out!!!!!
Big hugs for you X

Matthew'sMum how is the clomid going?? When do you test???

AFM just feeli'n pretty normal, I have BT next Wed TwinSis, that will be 16DPIUI. Still seems so far away. I will POAS wednesday bf going in to have BT so I can prepare myself for the phonecall if it's BFN. Or mabey i might POAS Tues......
Any earlier and the Pregnly inj I had 2days ago will give me a fake positive like last month....won't be doin that again
Heres hoping for no AF before then

Hi to ALL XXX

[bonelige]

murraycodfingers crossed no AF

scarypinkfairyhow far are you? i was induced with tablets at 16weeks. the pain was awful. really thinkin of you right now.

strangelkgood luck!!

matthewsmumwe named our little boy harry

will write more tomorrow. good night!

[Matthew's Mum]

Bonelige-Harry is a lovely name...Murraycod-i'm on cd18,so taken all the clomid tablets&bding every 2nd night,bt on day21,poas day 30.i'm able to do 2 more cycles of the clomid,if unsucessful ,we'll have other fertility treatment,but hoping dont need to go there.Thanks for asking

[scarypinkfairy]

hey bonelige, i was 12 weeks when i found out but i think the baby had stopped growing around 8 weeks. so it had basically been doing nothing for 4 weeks and my body had not done anything by itself so i needed some intervention. 16 weeks sounds pretty far in the pregnancy to be using the tablets, i thought they were only for up to 12 weeks. you must have been in a lot of pain. my pain comes and goes, but i'm taking strong painkillers.

[eliselouise]

Morning all, hope everyone is having a good week.
SPF hope the tablets are doing their job and that your pain is not too bad, id never heard of them before, wish i had of known about them and then maybe i wouldnt have had to have the D&C.
Matthewsmum hopefully you wont need the next 2 cycles of clomid with a BFP at the end of this month
murraycod fingers crossed for a bfp for you early next week
Starangelk congratulations on the BFP, it must be hard to be properly excited about it knowing now what can happen but try and stay calm and start enjoying it - easier said than done i know
Bonelige & snugglybean that is such a beatiful thing to do with the flowers & naming your angel, i wish i had of thought of something like that, very sweet
Alx i completely understand about being a crying mess, i was the exact same way and DB found it so hard and didnt know what to say or do, i told him just to hold me and that was a great comfort. Hope your starting to feel a little better.
Hello to anyone else i have missed (so many of us)
AFM af due tomoro or the next day and have no inklings either way as to whether im pg or not, POAS yesterday and 2 days before that but both BFN. Think im gonna try and hold out till saturday and if af hasnt showed up by then ill test.
Anyway better get off to bed, just finished night shift and im exhausted.
Talk later

[Sparkles]

Hi all,

Starangel - Big congrats, have all my toes & fingers crossed for you!!
SPF- Hope the pain isn't too bad, and that you cry as much as you need to. As eliselouise said i found there was no words at first and sitting there being hugged was a great feeling of comfort & love.

AFM - had a massive cry last night....the everyone around me is preganant cry as we found out another friend was 20 weeks last night. That's now, my sister, 2 x step-sister in laws, 2 x friends, DH's cousins wife and i couldn't help but think i would have been further along in my pregnancy than all of them. i am happy for them all, i really am, just sad that we lost ours and i want what they have!! Anyway, i'm alright today...just gotta look forward and hope we will be filled with that happiness ourselves soon! Hope everyone else is well xx

[Twin Sister]

starangelk - you're right that people who haven't had a m/c have no idea how hard it is, but you'd think they'd still have a little more tact than that. That's so exciting that you got a BFP but scary that you are spotting. I really hope it is just implantation bleeding and that everything will be just fine. Fingers crossed your blood test goes well.

Matthew's Mum - thanks for your nice post. Ha ha, pregnancy convention, it's so true, what the heck? <sigh> I wish there really was a pregnancy convention and that we were all going.

snugglybean - 3 months doesn't sound too bad at all, yay for getting through the first three. Definately indulge as much as you can over the next three months! Soft cheeses sushi and lots of wine!

bonelige - I wasn't too put out by AF this month as i knew I wasn't PG but it was still a bit of a bummer. At least now I know where i am in my cycle and we can try a lot harder this month. Ugh i can't believe your friend was like that, I probably would not be talking to her anymore either. I'll have to see how this friend is next time I see her. Ha ha you sound like me with the testing. When is AF actually due? i hope she stays away but for good reason.

scarypinkfairy - sorry to hear you are so crampy and uncomfortable. Hope it eases up quickly. I sympathize about the baby talk too, it's all around me as well and i can't seem to escape it.

Bonelige & snugglybean - I agree that is such a sweet thing to do with the flowers & naming your angels. We buried ours under a tree out back but we were too sad to give him/her a name.

murraycod - A week does seem like a long time to wait when you're anxiously awaiting news. It will pass by quickly though. I would say wait and POAS on Wednesday though if you can, then you won't be obsessing about your HPT results for a whole day before the blood test (that's what I'd be doing anyways).

eliselouise - hope AF stays away!! Best of luck testing!

It was a nice sunny day here today so we went to my friend's house at the lake. It will probably be the last sunny day until next spring so we took full advantage of it. Despite the glacial coldness of the lake the kids all stripped down to splash in it anyways. Man they are tough!

Also yesterday I found a stray kitten. Someone dumped a litter a the playground and there were two left. One wandered into the gymnastics club and the gymnastics coach took him home, and this one I found sitting at the top of the slide crying. I am looking for a home for him as we can't keep cats due to allergies (he's set up in my downstairs bathroom for now) he is sooooo friendly I can't imagine why anyone would just dump him like that, poor thing. He's very cuddly and is a good mood elevator. My son has been calling him "Macaroni' LOL. I hope he won't be too sad when the kitten has to go to his new home.

[Twin Sister]

AFM - had a massive cry last night....the everyone around me is preganant cry as we found out another friend was 20 weeks last night. That's now, my sister, 2 x step-sister in laws, 2 x friends, DH's cousins wife and i couldn't help but think i would have been further along in my pregnancy than all of them. i am happy for them all, i really am, just sad that we lost ours and i want what they have!! Anyway, i'm alright today...just gotta look forward and hope we will be filled with that happiness ourselves soon! Hope everyone else is well xx

I really feel for you. It's so hard when everyone around you is pregnant, constatnly reminding you of the fact that you are not pregnant anymore. I know, i'm in the same boat. i currently have 5 friends (3 of them quite close) who are pregnant right now. Three of them are due within days of when I was supposed to be due, and the other two are a few weeks behind. I too am happy for them, but sad for me. Crying helps so let it all out. I'm sending a you a big hug and hope you feel better soon.

[hubba_bubba07]

I read this forum every day just to catch up on how all you ladies are going in your quests but i never really get the chance to post.I am so grateful to be a part of this community that offers such comfort,guidance and love,yet none of even know each other.We all share a common factor which is so unfair on us all but yet we find the time to step back and try and comfort others.Its brilliant.And its so hard to try and find someone that hasnt been through loss like we have that can offer anywhere near the same comfort and guidance as all you ladies do.We all encounter the people that really "put there foots in there mouths" and dont understand what we are going through.its at this time that we really trully find out who our true friends are.


AFM: Its been 3 months since we lost peanut and it doesnt get any easier as people tell us it should.The guilt i feel when i see a pregnant woman or hear of someone close being pregnant,i am usually a very caring person but the green eyed monster comes out every time.Its just not me.
I hadnt had AF since our loss and my gp sent me for bloods and an ultrasound to see whats going on with my body....Get results tomorrow....
well low and behold...i woke up yesterday to AF..i am so so happy,,strange but true..I seem normal if that makes sense lol

I will be back for personls later.

sending lots of love and wishes to everyone xoxoxo
I will do personals next time for sure.

[bonelige]

hubbai'm glad your AF came and that your body gettin back to normal. I can relate with the pregnant thing, it's a real sadness/jealousy because you know you're meant to be too

sparkleshope you feeling ok today

SPFmaybe they were differnt tablets. they sort dissolved mine then (TMI) put them up there to soften cervix.

I couldn't not name him because he was fully formed. i'd heard of others getting flowers for their lost ones so thats why we did, and thankfulyl it's starting to flower!!

AFM ...AF arrived this morning. 28 days to the day , god love her for being so accurate. hopefully it's the last of her for the next 10months.

[Matthew's Mum]

Afternoon all,Scarypinkfairy-Hope the pain killers are doing their job...Eliselouise-I've heard of people planting trees and/or naming their babies years after the loss.Fingers crossed af stay away...Sparkles-glad things looked brighter this morning.A good cry can be good therapy...Twinsister-Hope 'macaroni'finds a permanent home soon...hubbabubba-Good luck with results tomorrow...Bonelige-I bet the flowers will look beautiful in bloom.

[craftymummy9]

Hi to all you ladies hope you are all feeling more positive today. I am feeling better day by day but its so hard when you go to the shops and see pregnant woment everywhere. I try to remind myself that soon very soon it will be me again I hope.
It has been said so many times how hard it is to miscarry and until you do you don' know how hard it is I first miscarried in 1987 and then had to wait until 1991 to get my number 2 but even this last time I mc still hurts just as much as it did all those years ago. I feel for all those taking tablets and waiting for the inevitable to happen my heart goes out to you all I was not so brave I just opted for a D&C get it over with there and then but we are all different. The pain was prity bad too for 3 days a bit like labour pains but no reward at the end. So sending a big hug to all you ladies who like me have lost their baby recently lets all hope we are in another thread very soon. The pregnant after mc or loss ! To all of us

[eliselouise]

WOW craftmummy i was just reading your post and noticed your signature, 9 children that is amazing, you must be such a patient loving person. I would love to have a big family like that but dont think id have the patience for quite that many hehe. Also noticed your eldest is the same age as me (im June '85) that is awesome