TTC after Miscarriage or Loss ~ April 08 #2

[jenushka]

Hi Ladies,

I have been lurking for a while and would love to join this thread - just wanted to say straight off the bat that I have been reading your posts for a good few weeks now and they provided a HUGE amount of support to me. And the amount of encouragement and positivity in here is just lovely - it seems like a very safe space.

My story (25 words or less!) - conceived bub number 2 in Jan this year on our first month of trying and we were ecstatic. Had a scan at 6 weeks and saw a lovely heartbeat at 120 bpm. Went to ob for initial appt in March at a bit over 9 weeks only to find out that the bub was there and measuring good for dates, but there was no heartbeat. No bleeding or cramping at all (missed miscarriage)... D&C the next day...

I'm sure you all understand the emotional wreck I was for a while so I won't dwell on that ... BUT .. I have a wonderful 2 year old to give me lots of chubby-armed cuddles and goldfish kisses, a lovely husband and the other good news is that my first AF arrived yesterday meaning that I am pouring every ounce of energy I have into looking forward and TTC a brother or sister for my DS (even though the thought is a bit terrifying)

Thanks for listening and lots of and the stickiest to you all...

[mmteacher]

Hey Everyone!

Sorry it's been awhile for me-just lots of craziness going on...
AF came this weekend right on time which I guess is good because I can't start taking Clomid again this week and hope for a BFP. Obviously O'ing on my own didn't work out so well for me last month. Also, don't know what it has been like for all of you the first month after m/c but AF has been AWFUL-super terrible cramps and medication doesn't help...they lead to migraines and then the migraines make me sick to my stomach-YUCK! Hopefully I have seen the worst of it! On a good note, DH was very sweet this weekend and cuddled with me and took care of me-not always usual for him! Anyhow, looks like I'll be starting Clomid on Wednesday and hopefully we?ll get lucky the first time with it again, but after almost 18 months of trying I am not sure...I have decided that the TWW is really the worst time of the month for me as I wish the days away and am consumed by every possible thought of being pg-I am going to try VERY hard this month to let go during the TWW and remember to keep living instead of being so darned focused on what I can't control! When I had my m/c this little poem from when I was a kid came to mind and it has been helping me keep going and put this in bigger hands than my own...hope it helps a few of you!

Broken Dreams

As children bring their broken toys
With tears for us to mend,
I brought my broken dreams to God
Because He was my friend.
But then instead of leaving Him
In peace to work alone,
I hung around and tried to help
With ways that were my own.

At last I snatched them back and cried,
"How could you be so slow"
"My child," He said, "What could I do?
You never did let go."

Let go and let God
Author Unknown

Congrats to the BFP's and GL relaxing to the TWW's! More persies later!

MMteacher

[maybe baby]

Hi Jenushka

Your story is like mine. Lovely healthy h/b at 7 weeks (158) and then a missed miscarriage at 10 weeks. NO signs, nothing,. Also, like you, I have a beyond gorgeous DD who is the light of my life and does a lot to life my heart which is still down in my shoes most of the time.

JMG, I know what you mean about keeping quiet. I guess I was naive, I thought a h/b and a healthy looking bub at 7 weeks was good enough to tell some people. Never again. Too bad what people think, I will be keeping way quiet until I absolutely have to. And it will happen again. I am telling myself I will have another baby every night before I go to sleep

Part of it still seems so unreal. One moment, you are in an office with yr OB being handed hospital documentation and other things, the next you have goop on your stomach and are staring at a screen with nothing on it and you are whisked into a hospital to have a D&C.

Part of it still feels so unreal. How can this be?

Much baby dust to all

[smilanatu]

Morning ladies!

Welcome to the board jenushka! I'm so sorry for your loss...here's hoping you get a BFP ASAP!


JMG...you're welcome and everything WILL be fine!

bettyboop...sorry about your FIL...things are about to get good for you my dear!

Goodluck to you Abbey B!

jen805...I told you we are BD partners! I sincerely hope it's all about implantation for you!

Jodsan...feel better soon!




AND LOTS OF POSITIVE THOUGHTS TO EVERYONE TTC!!!

[AJC]

Bettyboop - sorry to hear about fil.

Jenushka - sorry to hear about your loss. Wishing you all the luck in the world and a BFP next cycle.

I think I'm out for this month girls. Temp took big dip this morn and am starting to feel a bit crampy. No af yet but I know she's on her way. Disappointed of course but biggest dissapointment is that am only 11dpo today so that means clomid hasn't helped LP which I was hoping it would. Oh well - seeing ob on Monday so hopefully he can shed some light.

Will be back for personals later..........

[maybe baby]

Sorry for AF AJC. Damn witch. All those of years of WANTING of AF, it seems so obscene how little I want her now!

I didn't realise clomid helped LP. Mine was short after my DD's birth as well (although it took 12 months for it to come back anyway - after I had weaned her). Its all very confusing I find. I had my Dr take a progesterone test about Dec and it was a bit low. I went on Vit B6 and this lengthened it to 11/12 days (from 8/9). By chance my Dr checked my progesterone the cycle I had actually conceived and it was 56. While I was pregnant it was at 31 and I was on supplements (tablets). I lost the baby in any case.

So I will ask my FS at my appointment (in June) about clomid. As well as progesterone. I better get those tests results from my Dr and I need a referral as well. Sigh

[AJC]

Thanks for the info maybe baby - so let me get this straight. Your prog was 56 when you conceived but during the same pregnancy was 31, then you lost that baby? is that right. Hmmmm - I might go and get some B6 tablets, they can't hurt anyway. My ob is totally fabulous so I can't wait to go and speak to him.

[tempus moriendi]

I actually had time to go online tonight! I have a mid-cycle check up at the FS tomorrow. Been there, done that.

Emmy-Lou: I'm so sorry. Sending cyberhug

Mel A: good luck!

Trac73: as far as I'm concerned, you're welcome here! BTW, I cramped in every pregnancy, even the successful ones

JMG: keeping you in my prayers

bettyboop: AF arrived? (per your signature) I'm so happy for you, it was such an awful and drawn-out ordeal for you.
I'm so sorry about your father in law. Sending cyberhug and keeping you all in my prayers.

pbstar: sending cyberhug. I've been in a real weird place this month, too.

issy02 & Canary & jen805 & Abbey B: fingers crossed!

plc1805: how did your appt go?

ll80: I'll keep your grandad in my prayers

jenushka: I'm so sorry about what you went through. sending cyberhug and praying for you. I hope you find some help and healing on this thread.

maybe baby: sending cyberhug to you, along with prayers and tons of encouragement vibes.
clomid helps with progesterone levels because you often develop more than one follicle. they don't all release, but the follicles help make progesterone

mmteacher: thank you so much for that poem. I copied it to keep. sending cyberhug for encouragement

AJC: my doc put me on clomid, but he also put me on oral progesterone. have you explored that option with him?

[plc1805]

Hey ladies - thought I'd say hi and send huge hugs to you all!!!!!!!!!!!!

AJ - - back off witch!!! we have to do be strong with her as she doesn't seem to get it that she is most unwelcome..... if it doesn't work this cycle hun we will just have to scream at her next cycle

maybe baby - i don't know to advise u but hope u get the answers u need -

mmteacher - so terribly sorry re AF (the witch!!) - huge positive thoughts that ur time will come soon!!!

smilanatu & jen - how u going gals? :goodluck2: to you both!!

jenushka - welcome honey - my heart goes out to you for ur loss - u will get all the support u need here

jmg - sweety - how u going?

ll80 - meant to post u earlier as soon as i saw re ur grandfather - take care of ur gran and don't forget urself too!! i pray all goes well!

betty, abbey, jodsan, pbstar, issy, canary and anyone I have missed (sorry!!) - hello and sending you and the other ladies lots of !!

bday buddy - hope ur ok - just letting u know that u r thought of.

tempus - honey - how are you going - hope ur keeping ur chin up!!!

Thanks for asking about my appt - the ob said to go forth and multiply and that is what DH and I did last night (hopefully!!) - my DH is such a champ - he said he'll do it as it's "doctor's orders" - what a guy! Only thing to follow up is some thyroid tests in late May which don't affect TTC at this stage and hopefully won't at all. So as I'm CD12 and I am probably going to o within next couple of days we are keen to get going and race into the 2WW where I am sure it will just DRRRRRAAAAAGGGGG!! Oh well at least we will finally be in it.

[jen805]

Ok, guys, I'm confused about progesterone. I said this in a previous post, so sorry if it's repetitive to some of you, but my dr. originally told me that before I decided to ttc again to let him know and he would start me on progesterone and a baby aspirin. So when I called him to ask for the progesterone, he claimed that he couldn't give it to me until after I got a BFP because it could cause fertility problems! WTF? Now I know you may think I was upset so maybe I didn't hear him right, but DF was there with me and confirmed that he had, indeed, said before we ttc! So then I spoke with my family pract. who told me that when he used to deliver babies he never prescribed progesterone before a woman was pg, it was only after the BFP! So I'll say it again, I'm completely confused and bewildered by this! Anyone have any ideas?

AJC--Sorry to hear about the temp drop--hope your ob helps to shed some light.

Hi maybe baby, been thinking about you. Hope your cheering up a bit!

tempus--Good to hear from you and thanks for the crossed fingers!

AFM, still searching for signs! Next Friday is my POAS day--seems like it's going to take forever to get here. TWW's suck!

[jen805]

Abbey--Welcome, and wish you luck ttc! Hope you get your BFP!!

bettyboop--So sorry to hear about your father in-law Also sorry your ex is stressing you out--they're good at that, aren't they?

JMG--Hoping May comes quickly for you! Take care!

jenushka--Welcome! You're right, the women here are so encouraging and supportive--they just make you feel safe and give you the strength to get through the dark days. So sorry to hear about your loss. Praying that your ttc journey is a short one! Glad to hear about AF--you're on your way to your BFP, I just know it! Good luck, I'll be praying for you!

[jen805]

mmteacher--Sorry about AF, mine was quite heavy also, but luckily my cramps weren't that bad. Hope she packs her bags soon! The tww is definitely the toughest time for me, as well! The days just seems to drag.... and all you can think about is getting pg or being pg! I feel your pain sister! Love your poem, and it's so true--I think sometimes you have to try to stop controlling your life and realize that we aren't the ones in control. It's hard to just let go, isn't it, knowing your fate is in somebody else's hands? Hope your migraines have gone away! Take care of yourself!

smilanatu--Hey BD buddy! This is going to be the month, right? Everything's crossed for us--for all of us! Cute ticker, it's new right?

maybe baby--Having a m/c is definitely a surreal experience. It's so unreal, it's like you're hovering above watching it all happen. Or, like I've said before, like a slideshow that just won't stop playing in your mind. So glad you have your gorgeous daughter to lift your heart! Remember we're all here for you!

[plc1805]

emmy-lou - don't we have such accomodating guys??!!!

smilanatu - i think i will be exactly the same - i haven't even o-d yet (i don't think) and i'm very aware of every twinge!!! hope u manage to chill a bit...

jenushka - aawww big hugs honey - that is tough!! keep strong sweet!

AJC - so sorry re AF - !!

maybe baby - i think feeling that u r proactive about TTC can really help and that u r not just guessing what could be the prob. I certainly feel like now I am steering my TTC ship with the twinges i have kind of matching up to aspects of my chart.

sorry just realised i'm running late - will bbl for more personals!!

[ll80]

HI ladies

Thanks for all the well wishes, was only a mild stroke so physically he is not too much worse off than he was before. It's his dementia thats taken a beating but he seems to recall more everyday, worse but better at the same time, but that's how it goes with these sort of things.

Back at home now, got the results of my blood test last week, 147 HCG at 3w6d so that's not too bad, been feeling a bit nervous about it all lately, *****t!ing myself to be exact, I dont think I will feel any more at ease until I pass the 8week mark when baby stopped growing last time.

I'm really reluctant to move onto the pg after m/c threads, although I have posted a few times feels like I am jinxing myself if that makes any sense at all. Plus your all just so lovely and I want you all to be in there with me.

anyways....
Hiya to all new ladies, I hope your stay here is a short one and you get those BFP's.

AJC sorry bout af *fingers srossed* for next month.

pbstar *big Hugs* you're such a strong woman, *fingers crossed8 for you too.

plc, I guess if it's doctors orders you better keep those legs up and ready all week hehe I'm a bit cheeky!

tempus GL with the specialist, will all go well and you'll be UTD before you know it.

Big waves and hugs for Angel Babies and Nickster, hope you're both well and jiggy.

Hope you all have a good weekend

...Laura

[plc1805]

....ok I'm back!

ll80 - u r cheeky !!! but u speak the truth
On a serious note, glad to hear all is progressing well with u and as far as i'm concerned u can hang out here all u like.....

pbstar - that is an excellent poem - i do like Leunig. Hope ur ok....

mmteacher - I'm with u with clearing this thread - we can all do a massive invasion on the PAML thread!!! CHARGE!!!! woohoo!!! oh - wouldn't it be LOVERLY!!!

jen - thanks honey!!!! is ur poas day this friday or next? everything is crossed for u....

hello to everyone else - - hope ur remaining positive and strong!!!

well not sure i've o-ed yet but i'm sure it's around the corner - all my twinges are happening and i really feel like i'm back in the game - very good feeling!

[jen805]

plc--I love your thought about invading the PAML thread! Upon better inspection of my chart at FF, it's next Thurs. that I should test (or when AF is due). Not sure if I actually O'ed on the day that the calendar said I was supposed to, so I'm not sure if I should poas any sooner than that. Had been thinking that maybe on Sat. I might, but I just don't want to get too ahead of myself. Last time was so much easier--was like a week late before I realized I was a week late! I wish the week went by as quickly as the weekends! Glad to hear your feeling like your back in the game--game on!

ll80--Glad to hear about bt results! Also glad you want to stick around here for a while--I don't blame you. It's the same for me (when I get my BFP) I just want to get past that first 8 wks. then I think I'll calm down a bit--I'm already stressed about it and I'm not even there yet!

Emmy-Lou--Hope AF packs her bags quickly so you can get back in the game, as well!

mmteacher--Hope the clomid works it's wonders! Good luck!

[Baby Angels]

Still around now and then girl..... got to keep an eye on ya and sending you huge amounts of sticky vibes...... fat tummy gal

B'day Buddy...... watchin out for you to girl... how funny that you couldnt wait.... surprised you were in the first place I ve got this tune going through my head... something like..... nah nah nah nah nah nah...... getting jiggy with it... nah nah nah nah nah!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nickster... if your anything like me then i know your lurkin... .come on... show your face and let me know how your doing

So many faces around half of which it feels like I dont even know...... AFM who knows when I will be back.... just in and out at the moment.....

[Mel A]

OK we got a BFN today, but i don't believe it. My temp is still up (36.9). Everything my body is doing is telling me i'm PGT So , I need a vote.

Do i go and get a blood test without the HPT + result.?

Also Can the bloods be negative at DPO 13?

Your thoughts?