TTC after Miscarriage or Loss ~ April 08

[jen805]

mmteacher--Can't believe how self-controlled you were last night! I think I would've lost it for sure! The world has too many selfish, insensitive people in it! Praying for you that your symptoms are those of a BFP!

[jen805]

mmteacher--who needs enemies when you have friends like that? I don't know how you held yourself together, you have much more restraint than I would've had! Hard to believe how selfish and insensitive people can be--especially when they know what you've been through!
I'm praying for you that this is your month! Symptoms sound very positive! Hope your right about the BFP train--I would love to be on that train with you! Good luck and stay positive!

lol--sorry for sending 2 posts in a row--couldn't find the first one after I typed it, so I re-typed it. Then, of course, once it was posted they were both there! I'll get this thing figured out one of these days!

[Mary-M.1981]

Hi
My name is Mary. I found this board yesterday while searching online. We lost our baby Abigail Rosette at 19 weeks 4 days I delivered her on Feb.22nd. We found out that she had passed away in utero 4 days before that. The day just seemed like I was stuck in a nightmare. I just couldnt believe that she was gone. We have her ashes with us in the house and we have a box with her things as well as we have a rose plant in front for her. I just got my first period which I thought would make me relieved but it seemed to start the greif all over for me, actually surprised me how sad I have been. I was just sobbing and sobbing yesterday and been crying constantly. I had been trying to keep it to myself so my family wouldnt "suffer" but my husband got upset and I finally broke down and sobbed for over an hour with him. We are planning on trying again this month and hoping it will happen as quickly as The Lord allows. And we have trulley felt Gods presence with us through this entire thing, He has been so everpresent for us and we are so thankful for that. I dont know what else to say, but I hope to find some support and friendship here with people who understand. Thank you and God bless you all
Mary

[jen805]

Oh, Mary, I'm so sorry for your loss! Wish I could give you a big hug! Thanks so much for posting your story. Unfortunately, it's one that we understand all too well. Give yourself time to grieve--it's good to cry and get it all out. For me, just posting my story helped so much! It's been a tough month for me... I still break down sobbing and it's been a month since my m/c. The pain will never go away completely, but it will get easier every day. Some days are worse than others. Hoping and praying the Lord answers your prayers soon and your ttc journey is super short! You've come to the right place for friendship and support!

[Katiegirl]

Hi All.

MM - I am so sorry you had to endure such an insensitive friend. I find it so amazing how people can be totally insensitive and not pick up on how uncomfortable they make people. I have been in similar situations and I always feel that if I walked away it would cause a scene so i just stand there and put up with it. We had a friend going on and on recently at a lunch at our house about how his girlfriend is now qualified to do 3D scans - and how it is really for women who are having their first baby or just want some reassurance. At first i didn't mind but after he had been going on about it for ages, I started to get uncomfortable. He didn't seem to get that he was talking about a very sensitive subject and that WE are exactly the people who will be anxious. All the other women at our place were dead silent - I am sure they knew he had gone on for too long. You did well to get through her whinging - and she just doesn't realise how lucky she is.

Jen - Hi. I can not remember if we have met. If not welcome and I hope your time here will be short but also supportive. Baby aspirin is usually for thinning the blood - so if you have been diagnosed with a clotting disorder they usually advise you to take aspirin. I have had pretty much every clotting test done and all were negative, so I am not taking aspirin for this pregnancy. I am not sure if there is any other reason for taking it. I would suggest you talk to you GP if you think you need to take it.

Laura - congratulations!!! Another BFP to add to the list. I hope you continue to feel well 9even with the ms) and have a lovely and uneventful 9 months.

[Baby Angels]

[Mary-M.1981]

Thank you so much Jen! Hugs to you as well. I am also so sorry for your loss. Thank you for the welcome.
Mary

[Jodsan]

Laura yey!!! Hope the blood tests turn out to be really, really high. Sending you some

JMG - sounding really positive, a faint line is still a line! Let us know when you POAS again.

mmteacher - I am really sorry about your difficult evening. I'm sure your friend was not trying to be insensitive, she probably just didn't know how to handle it. She was probably feeling really uncomfortable out of guilt that her pregnancy is going well when yours didn't. That's probably why she thought she'd "downplay" her joy about it by pointing out the negatives of pregnancy. Some peope just dont have the right words. Sending you a big hug :hugs:

Mary - I'm so sorry for your loss. Thankyou for sharing your story with us. I cannot begin to understand your grief as my loss was so early but I know you will find the support you need here, there are many amazingly strong women with amazing words of wisdom. I have felt really understood here when many other people just dont get it and I hope that you will feel the same way.

Big hello to everyone else, hope your Monday is going well!

[AJC]

Have been reading all of the posts but haven't posted - struggling to keep up with all of the activity in here.

Laura - Congratulations - wishing you a happy, healthy & enjoyable pregnancy.

JMG - sounds promising. Good luck, is probably just too early to tell yet. Hope to see a BFP next to your name over the next few days!

Welcome Mary - I am sorry to hear of your loss and I'm sure you will find good support in here. The ladies in here are great.

Hugs and for everyone. Am in the anxious tww now.

[Mary-M.1981]

Thank you so much Jodsan and AJC for the welcome. God bless you
Mary

[mmteacher]

Jen805~Thank you for your kind words of support...It really helps to have you girls on my side!

Mary~So glad you found us and so sorry for your loss-healing will take some time but it will happen-hang in there!:hugs:

Katiegirl~Thank you also for your kind support-what you said made a lot of sense...maybe she was trying to down play it-I hadn't really thought of it that way...Hopefully that is true because it would make her a lot less inconsiderate.

Jodsan~Thank you-you made a good point also and I hope that it was the reason for the way she acted.

AJC~GL in the TWW...I am hoping for a BFP for you!

Back to Monday tomorrow for hopefully a quick rest of the TWW for me!

[tina_k]

well, ive started bleeding, so i guess im out for another month...feeling really down, so im sorry for no personals...guess there will be no christmas present for me after all...i was so desperately praying for a xmas baby as i found out about my m/c on my bday last year(19/12), and had the DnC on boxing day, so i was hoping to make this xmas a happier one...guess its not meant to be...

[Emmy-Lou]

Mary-M....Welcome, one day at a time and like you I have faith in God - we will hold our babies one day but for now in our hearts...

tina_k...sorry you won't have the xmas pesent you wanted...thinking of you and take care..

Laura and Il80 - CONGRATS LADIES...

Hello to everyone else...
Well as for me AF should arrive tomorrow if my cycles are back to normal!!! Here's hoping she won't arrive though...

oxoxoxox

[bettyboop]

mary - welcome and sorry to hear of your loss.
hi to everyone else

[plc1805]

I cannot cannot cannot believe it - I just spent an hour if not more on this huge post and somehow it got eaten up - GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!

I simply don't have the energy to repeat it all but profoundest, deepest, heartfelt condolences, words of encouragement, feelings of empathy, and the like were conveyed to you all - to those in TWW, to those with AF approaching, to tina who just got AF (I don't know why x amount of AFs arrive before a BFP honey, just gotta believe it will happen for us), to those challenged by the ignorance of others (mmteacher - my mother's favourite saying "the personal success is the way in which we deal with grace and dignity the atrocities of life" - u r testimony to that!), to those with very very recent grief (mary - welcome, my previous post was so much more eloquent but, even given my misfortune, i truly respect the grief of those suffering loss beyond the first trimester (with the utmost respect to the rest of my friends in here) - when one allows oneself to think all is ok and then it isn't - allow urself to grieve without apology - ur angel girl will forever live in ur heart, never forgotten). Hello to everyone - all i have to say about me is that i have 8 sleeps to go til i get that green light to TTC, times in nicely with o but can't allow myself to believe in such perfection, conceiving in my first cycle back. DHs SA cam back normal so at least it's not him as well
Huge everybody!

[plc1805]

Oh boy I can't believe that I forgot to mention that I had also congratulated -

ll80 - HUGE CONGRATS hun - well deserved and another successful win for the team!!!!

JMG - i offer you a CONGRATULATORY HUG without saying the words til u actually confirm what you and I know what even a faint 2nd line means -

[Mel A]

Hi all
Well AF turned up, there was no need for primulot to start AF. Now we are back in the game and playing hard. We are at day 18 and TTWaiting. I've got a day 21 blood test on wednesday so lets hope O has happend, the DH can go back off duty. I have cross fingers, I felt a little sick on sunday and went to bed at 8:30 I woke up soooooo tired this morning. this is a good sign.

Till soon

Warm and sunny smiles Mel

[Natty]

Hi Ladies

I cant believe how many posts in such a short time!

mmteacher - I cant believe how insensitive your 'friend' was. Although I learnt from our m/c that a lot of it wasnt deliberate insensitivity but embarrassment because they didnt know how to act/behave/what to say. Maybe she feels really bad and was trying to cover up how much she actually hurts for you by saying that being pregnant wasnt that great etc???

MaryM - I am so sorry to hear your story. I hope your stay here is short and you get your BFP soon.

1180 - WOW - congratulations!!!

Jen085 - Keep smiling hun. Its hard I know but the difficult and uncomfortable situations will lessen and your wounds wont be reopened so often...

Emmy-Lou - thanks for the affirmation. It was very true.

JMG - that the BFP is brighter and stronger for you tomorrow.

TinaK - cyber hugs to you sweetie. Fingers crossed for a New Years baby for you.

Canary, plc805, tempur moriendi, Katiesgirl, Jodsan and everyone else I might have not mentioned (sorry) - hope your all going well.

As for me well I bumped into the midwife today in the corridor and she asked why i didnt do the blood test and then ordered me down to have it done (I work in a hospital). Anyway it came back at 3950 and my Obstetrician is very happy with the result as it is doubling every 48 hours.

Then I went to my interview and they have offered me the job so just have to wait for their HR people to write up the letter of offer. Now have to figure out what to do as I wont have much of a maternity leave but the money would finally make us comfortable (they are doubling my salary). You know, you only get your kids once in your life but then you want to be able to afford to take them to the movies, buy them decent clothes, be able to afford a car that hasnt done 220,000km with a broken airconditioner and radio. Its hard on women I think because nowadays its hard financially for us to look after our family's without our income and its hard on the men because they feel that they should be able to provide for their family without their wife working but the reality is with house prices, interest rates, petrol prices etc etc I dont know very many women who can afford not to work.

Anyway, I hope you are all well and happy or as happy as you can expect to be.