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Thread: TTC after Miscarriage or Loss ~ April 08

  1. #37

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    tm - yes, it's used for breast cancer treatments, apparently it does the same as clomid for fertility, dosage is obviously different (i'm on from day 3 to 7, breakfast, lunch and dinner). just hope it works.


  2. #38

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    Hello you wonderful ladies!! I've been dropping in to see how you're going and I'm here now to spread some and to share some information that I found on the babymed website. I hope this helps reassure you, Natty!
    Caution must be used in making too much of hCG numbers. A normal pregnancy may have low hCG levels and deliver a perfectly healthy baby. The results on an ultrasound after 5 - 6 weeks gestation are much more accurate than using hCG numbers.
    A single hCG reading is not enough information for most diagnoses. When there is a question regarding the health of the pregnancy, multiple testings of hCG done a couple of days apart give a more accurate look at assessing the situation.
    hCG levels should not be used to date a pregnancy since these numbers can vary so widely.
    The first detection of hCG in the blood depends on when implantation happens. Extremely sensitive tests which are not available in a regular laboratory can detect the hCG even before implantation. But with regular laboratory hCG tests, hCG is usually found in sufficient levels as early as 2-3 days after implantation.
    Implantation happens as early as 6 days after ovulation/fertilization (usually about 9 days after ovulation), so blood hCG can be found as early as 8-9 days after ovulation/fertilization.
    Pregnant women usually attain blood serum concentrations of at least 10-50 mIU/cc in the 7-8 days following implantation.
    At hCG levels above 1,000-1,500 mIU/ml, vaginal sonography usually identifies the presence of an intrauterine pregnancy
    Within the first 2-4 weeks after fertilization, hCG usually doubles every 48-72 hours
    An increase of 60% in 48 hours is still considered normal
    Below 1,200 mIU/ml, hCG usually doubles every 48-72 hours
    Between 1,200 and 6,000 mIU/ml serum, the hCG usually takes 72-96 hours to double
    Above 6,000 mIU/ml, the hCG often takes over four days to double
    More than two in three normal pregnancies have a doubling of the hCG every 72 hours
    There is a wide variation of normal hCG levels. An hCG that does not double every two to three days does not necessarily indicate a problem
    Normal hCG values vary up to 20 times between different pregnancies
    A single hCG value doesn't give enough information about the viability of the pregnancy
    Pregnancies that will miscarry and ectopic (tubal) pregnancies are likely to show lower levels and slower rises, but often have normal levels initially
    Some normal pregnancies will have quite low levels of hCG -- and deliver perfect babies
    Normal levels of hCG can vary tremendously. After 5-6 weeks of pregnancy, sonogram findings are much more predictive of pregnancy outcome than are HCG levels. Once the fetal heart rate is seen, most doctors will monitor the fetal heart rate rather than drawing hCG
    PS about the age thing... I've just had my 40th birthday and my brother (who is always good for a quick pep talk when I'm feeling down) reminded me that it's the Dirty 30s and the Naughty 40s. Not that I'm feeling too naughty at the moment! But here's to the Dirty 30s and the Naughty 40s!!

  3. #39

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    Just popping in to say a quick hi!

    Natty - I agree with kbowman, hcg levels probably aren't that much of a indicator so dont worry too much. Just try to relax and enjoy it! You're pregnant, it's beautiful! I have heard that air kills candida, so the no underwear thing sounds great, if only it wasn't so cold in Melbourne at the moment! I might try it tonight anyway, surely it'll help a bit.

    Magda and Trac - things are sounding really good, thinking of you both.

    Tempus - Sorry about your BFN I'm sure you'll get a BFP really soon and it will be a really sticky one!

    Mollycat - Got my fingers crossed the tamoxifen will be the extra nudge you need. Good luck!

    Mel A - I hope you enjoyed your well earned pampering! I loved the insight about the spiders. Next time I have one of my bizarre dreams (and I mean REALLY bizarre) I'll know who to PM.

    Canary - Thanks for the advice re: the pessary. I was trying to avoid it because I was worried about altering my PH too much and killing the swimmers, but thankfully my 3 diflucans seem to have worked (although it has probably altered my PH anyway LOL!).

    Big hello to everyone else!

    I saw my absolutely fabulous doctor yesterday (who takes a month or two to get into). She said she is not concerned at all about my fertility and said that I have developed strong PMS over the past couple of months because I haven't been exercising as much as usual. Apparently there is some hormone you release after aerobic exercise which negates the PMS hormones. I have been really hot and cold with my exercise routine since the MC because I did a big session at the gym the day b4 my MC and kinda wondered whether I went too hard and it caused the MC. So I backed off in way thinking it might boost my chances of conceiving. She assured me that nothing I did caused the MC and emphasised that exercise is so important for keeping our hormones balanced and in order. So lets get moving girls, I haven't been to the gym for about 4 weeks but are definately going back on Monday. Hopefully there will be no PMS symptoms for me this month (for one reason or another ).

    Sending everyone some

  4. #40

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    Hello everyone - sorry been mia for a couple of days - just hovering tho....

    Jodsan - my acupuncturist would second the whole exercise thing and would even add that, in addition to going to the gym, if you can exercise as much as you can outside that is really good for you. Something to do with the Vit D from the sun while you are exercising acheiving extra heat in the body - of course, it's chinese medicine heat, not heat as we know it. GL Jodsan - so glad that you could finally see your great doctor.

    kbowman - thanks so much for your informative post - I'll keep it as a reference.

    mel a - thanks also for your info on spiders which was the gyst of what I'd looked up but so nicely concised for me - looks like I got some rebuilding to do. Do you happen to know what it means when the spiders are chasing you? just thought I'd ask.... ooooooh! pampering - what an excellent idea!!! enjoy, sweety!!!

    tempus - sweetheart, glad I made you smile, the BD didn't actually happen tho and i had such a crappy night sleep entangled in my wires but it still was a good thought tho.... .
    u, me and the rest of us - we will all get there in the end, have faith and keep strong!

    mmteacher - thanks for ur post, will find out during the week what the monitor came up with if anything. but i'm presuming no worries.... hope all is well, hun, and that this TWW flies past for u.

    Hey canary and all the other lovelies in TWW - hope it marches on by for you and we get some more BFPs in here - let's !!!

    Hey to everyone else - !!

    AFM, AF is due today and hoping it comes which will mean my cycles r back to normal after the lap and whole endo thing. 10 days to go!!

  5. #41
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    Hi Everyone

    Its Saturday in Perth and it has been pouring with rain nearly all day. It actually feels nice to put a jumper on instead of sweating like the proverbial in 36+ degrees like we have all summer!

    I decided today with DH (my decision really) not to go and have my second HCG test. I just figured that its up to my body and this baby for this pregnancy to work and all my energy needs to put towards making this baby grow big and strong - not chasing numbers from a blood test which I have no control over anyway. So I feel a lot better and relaxed and have been giving our bub little 'pep talks' (silly I know but hey if it works!) about growing strong and healthy. FUnnily enough I have had some m/s today! So thanks to everyone for your kind words and support!

    KBowman - thank you so much hun for getting me that information. I really appreciate. Dirty 30's - I tried that and we fell pregnant. Maybe there is some truth to it!

    Jodsan - glad to hear you found a good doctor sweetie. Its so important. And your Dr is right - exercise didnt cause you to m/c so dont do that to yourself. When I fell pregnant with DD I was competing at a national level from 1500m track to 21km road running. I even raced up until I was three months and then continued running up until the night before we were induced. I was so important for my body and especially my head. Unless your Dr says not too, keep up the exercise. At the worst you'll have a body you love!!

    Trac73 - thinking of you for your blood tests on Tuesday. You are going to have a wonderful pregnancy I can feel it!

    ll80 and JMG - that your syptoms are a BFP!

    Magda - how are you going??

  6. #42

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    Hi!
    I am having a nice, lazy Saturday, chattiIng on the phone and generally chilling. The weather has been MAD here. It has gone from glorious sunshine with a real summer feel during the week, to -3 degrees at 9am this morning, then rain, then snow, and now lovely sun again! Weird!

    Jodsan, I totally get what you mean about exercise. I had heard that you aren't supposed to let your heart rate go over 140 whilst pgt, but I wasnt really sure whether that was true or not. I went running a few weeks before my m/c and we were doing hill training. I treid to 'hold back' and just take it easy, but still ended up very out of breath. I did wonder whether that effected the outcome or not, but after reading this forum, I think not. Get back in the gym and feel good!

    Mollycat- Thanks for your comments about not drinking cyber wine for 12 months. I was confused at first, but then got it! (9months of pgy and 3 breast feeding- right?) Sorry to hear that AF has popped up, you sound positive though, GL for April

    TM- :hugs: Sorry about the BFN. I am going to give you the same advice that I was given last time- It's not over until it's over- there is still a chance, if AF is not here yet. I found that last month was a big dissappointment, as like you, DH and I had no trouble conceiving the first 2. I really thought that it would be a peice of cake and my hopes were just too high. If AF does come, GL for April.

    MelA- Hi! Thanks for the info about spiders ( I also have spider dreams) I've not had them for a while, so I guess I dont have to re-build the web of my life just
    now. That's good, 'cos I quite like my life now. (In fact I like it so much that I am trying to make a new person to share it with!) Oh, enjoy your beauty treatments- they sound lush!

    AFM- Absolutely NO preggy symptoms. I feel OK about it, as I am fairly sure that this is not my month, but I dont know how I'll feel when AF gets here. It's an odd thing to admit, but I quite like being in the 2ww. It is an exciting time and even though I am fairly sure that I am not UTD, there is always a tiny speck of hope. Oooh, you may have noticed that I have found out how to change the colour of the font for names, I think that makes a post look quite pretty!

    I hope that everyone is OK, Hi to all I havent mentioned (there are so many of us, but hopefully that will change soon)
    It's time for another BFP to cheer us all up- come on girls!

  7. #43

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    Hello ladies. It's been a few days since I've posted, but I've been keeping up with everything! It's been a tough week for me. Went back to work on Wed. I work at my son's school as a noon duty aide--and, until Wed., I've been able to avoid most questions from the kids (most of whom knew that I was pg). One little girl in particular would ask me what I was having every time she saw me. I figured she knew by now about the m/c--it's been a month today. But she asked me on Wed., and completely threw me off guard. I told her I would talk to her about it later, b'cuz I was incapable of saying anything else. Then a little girl in my son's class (1st grade) walked up to me out of the blue and told me that her mom's baby died, too. This made me feel really bad, because I had previously complained about a couple other moms at the school that were pg., saying how hard it was for me to see these pg. women that were due around the same time as me. This woman in particular hadn't even seen her dr. or had her first appt. yet (at almost 3 mo's!) and I was feeling annoyed because of this (b'cuz I had just m/c and thought that I had been doing everything right, and here she was pg. and not even bothering to go to the dr!). Then her daughter tells me that her mom's baby died, too-and it felt like all the air had been sucked out of my body! Obviously, I had nothing to do with her m/c, and I never would've wished it to happen to her, but b'cuz I was annoyed with her for being pg, it's hard for me to not feel any guilt! Then yesterday I had to have one of the other noon aides tell the girl (the one that would always ask me what I was having) about the m/c so that she wouldn't ask me that dreaded question again! Of course, it was the first time I had even brought it up to any of the noon aides, so it was pretty hard. They've all been trying to be very respectful by not bringing it up to me at all, pretending like it never even happened, but that doesn't make it much better. The hard ones are the ones that didn't know about the m/c and ask me when I'm due!
    So now I'm on CD 6. Went to Fertility Friend to figure out how to chart my cycle. It's weird b'cuz according to my chart my fertile days begin on Mon., and it says I should be O'ing by Wed.! Could that be right? Could I really O so soon after AF? Thought AF was done yesterday, but she tricked me and came back later in the afternoon, although much lighter than the previous 3 days! My first couple days were really heavy--though I figure that's probably common for the first period after m/c. So maybe we'll begin ttc tonight (which would make DF very happy as he's been "missing me"), since they say that if you bd 3 days prior to O there's a better chance for a girl! I'm not going to be picky, though, I'll take what I can get--as long as it's healthy! I just really want to "feel" pg. again! The things that annoyed me just a few mo's ago--peeing 3 times a night, insomnia, feeling starving all the time, waking up every morning at 6:00 and eating oatmeal (I usually skipped breakfast until I was pg!) b'cuz I was so hungry, big, perky boobs! I miss feeling all those things! I still sleep with my hands on my tummy--wishing my baby was still in there! Sorry guys--just needed to get that out. Just bringing it up to DF is hard on both of us. It's easier for men to ignore it in order to maintain the "norm". While for me, I try to act like I'm not thinking about it, but it's ALWAYS there, like a slideshow constantly running in the back of my mind. I find myself half listening to people when they're talking to me, because the slideshow is running in the other half of my mind at the same time. I find myself wondering if they know that I'm not really listening to them, because my mind is consumed by my baby--isn't that terrible? Again, I'm sorry for feeling so sorry for myself-it's helpful knowing that there are others out there that know exactly what I'm talking about! At least here I don't feel so abnormal! Thanks everyone, for listening and caring!
    My prayers are with all of you!

  8. #44

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    Oh Jen, what you have described in ur post is all too familiar to me and I'm sure there would be others here that relate too. Having ur hands on ur tummy in bed and wishing that ur baby was still there is particularly memorable. Even in the months after while TTC I would put my hands on my tummy whilst in bed and focus so that my will was strong enough to put a baby in there. When I had my first m/c which was picked up at u/s i had to wait a day before i could have the D&C. That evening I just didn't want anyone taking my babies (twins) out of there cos I simply wanted to protect them in my own body even tho I knew they were dead. The cruelest thing too was that I was still getting m/s that evening - the sign that I usually attribute to a healthy pg. I can relate to ur sideshow (that is an excellent way to describe it!) and half listening to people. I feel for you for the range of emotions that come out while at ur DS's school - I don't have any helpful tips there nor with the FF fertility days. All I can suggest to you is to try to be strong and have faith that u will be pg again. I always think of my mum's favourite saying at times likes these and it does help me - "the personal success is how we deal with grace and dignity the atrocities of life" - hope it helps you in some way. Hugs hun.

    Canary - hun we do need a BFP in here!! I had no pg symptoms whatsoever when I found out I was pg with DS - so for you it aint over til it's over!! If AF does come (I so pray it doesn't) then u will be only a couple of days behind me - we'll have some cyber wine together and drink to the BFPs we'll get next cycle - deal?

    Natty - you are being so positive right now - that's so fantastic - good for you!!! The power of talking to your bub would be helping ur little one so much - keep it up!!

    Hello and good morning to everyone else -

  9. #45

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    I'm on the first day of full flow and back for another go-'round.

    kbowman: thanks for that hcg info!

    Jodsan: yeah, they always talk about the importance of exercize and I really do believe them, but part of me gets scared I might overdo it.

    plc1805: so how did the cardiac test go? did you get your results back (I'm a nurse--I always find this stuff facinating)

    Natty: I'm impressed with our attitude, and I don't know if I'd be that strong not to check. But actually, your not worrying about it will probably make you more comfortable psychologically

    Canary: I'm the opposite of you--I hate the TWW. Of course, I"m usually uncomfortable with ambiguity

    jen805: I'm so sorry. I thinkg ikwym, however--I tend to withdraw a bit during times of grief and the getting back to "real life" is so hard. I always felt a little bit resentful (illogical, I know) that other people's lives were just rolling along even as I was facing some tragedy. Sending cyberhug

  10. #46

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    My goodnes you ladies have been busy posting. I haven't had much time to pop on lately and there is just too m uch to catch up on to do personals so I will just say a quick HI to everyone and sending to each and all of you.

    I am at the start of the TWW. . . . I thought I was in it about a week and a half ago, but turns out my body is screwing with me and what I thought was O on CD14 was no and instead I O'd on CD33 (give or take a day) so it's a veeeeeeeeery long cycle. Stupid body It's very mind consuming when you are waiting, but I really don't think that this month was the month for it to happen.

  11. #47

    Default Affirmation..

    Hi Ladies..
    I just came across this positive affimation on another forum and would like to share with you all as we go through this difficult process...

    Affirmation

    In this time of loss I call upon my spirit within to guide me to my strength so that I may find peace and completion.
    I will use this strength to demand of myself and others my need to grieve completely, for this will be my first step to healing.
    During my time of grief I will seek guidance not only from my inner spirit but from loving persons who may offer wisdom and comfort.
    I need to understand that the soul as well as the physical body needs healing and to pay attention to this. I will learn to accept that the soul may never heal completely.
    I will learn to live not in fear and once again see beauty in my world and purpose in my existence.
    In spite of my new knowledge that things happen that cannot be controlled, I must call upon the places within me that tell me I do have control over much of my life and use this control to aid my healing.
    Let me recognize the gift in my ability to conceive and carry life however briefly.
    Let me take joy in my ability to love so deeply and desire to nurture a soul unbeknownst to me.
    Let me find healing in the belief that this soul knew my love for it and that that love helped it to pass to another place.
    Let me honor this short life not only with my love but in finding meaning in its existence.
    Let me recognize this meaning in not only my ability to survive, but in my fullest appreciation of all the moments motherhood will bring me, along with my deeper compassion and sisterhood to other women who've experienced loss.
    Let a part of this soul be reflected in the spirit of my future children, born or adopted, so that I may know it through them.
    I will listen to and trust the place in my deepest heart that tells me I will once again be reunited with this soul and will fulfill the need to hold it in my arms.
    I will help myself to feel comfort in the knowledge that there is a star in heaven that belongs to me.

    Take Care..

  12. #48

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    Hi everyone

    I haven't been in for a few days but have been keeping up to date with everything. I hope everyone is feeling great and trying to stay positive.

    AFM I have been feeling a little off the last few days. Showing some simes of a BFP coming my way, but I am a little . AF is due tomorrow, but I haven't been able to help myself, so I have been POAS. Some have been a BFN, but some have had that faint 2nd line appear. So I guess I just need to suck it up and think about something else (Yeah right) for a couple of days before testing again, just to be sure, to be sure!
    I have had symptoms of both pregnancy and AF so it could go either way, but I intend to stay positive no matter what the outcome.

    Natty - Thanks for the . I have everything crossed at the moment.
    Good for you for deciding not to have the 2nd hcg test. Keep the unwanted stress and worry away any way you can.

    Wishing everyone

    and

    for our ttc journey.

  13. #49

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    Jen- :hugs: I read your post with a lump in my throat. It is so familiar to me, and I expect to all of us here. Dont worry about the pregnt lady who you 'complained' about. If she has been through a loss herself, I am sure that she will understand how you are feeling right now and will not hold it against you. For me, going back to work was hard at first, and a struggle not to burst into tears, but it does get easier. Gradually, work will be a distraction and the questions and comments from the kids will stop. IKWYM about half- listening to people- when I first went back to work in January, I did some things that I couldnt remember doing a week later! Remember to be KIND to yourself, and dont expect too much from yourself right now. As someone said a few posts ago, now is the time to be selfish. Take care, I hope that things get easier soon.

    plc1805- Deal! AF is due on Weds, so I'll crack open a bottle of cyber wine then.

    TM- I'm sorry that AF has reared her ugly head. GL for April

    JMG- Yay!! I'm not sure whether we can say congrats on your BFP yet??? It sounds as though it is just around the corner though!

  14. #50

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    So I woke up this morning feeling like I've had a hard night on the grog, only, I was a good girl. Once I ate I felt fine but the penny dropped.

    So was out at the shops this afternoon decided to buy a test.
    POAS and BFP!! was feint but was there.
    Feeling nauscious on and off all day. This was how it started with DD and only got worse. So whilst it's a good sign, i'm dreading it. So many emotions, excited, little scared but feeling positive, I just knew.

    Luckily I alreacy had an appt. at gp tomorrow for blood test results so I hope they are good.

    Just meant to be this month.
    On a side note my notebook crapped itself so i'm using my pda, i'm such a techno geek I cried when it wouldn't start up, luckily my uni assignment was handed in. DH is an IT man so he's fixing it, still going but almost fixed. Had tojump on and tell someone.

    Catch up with you all when my notebook is fixed

    ....LAURA

  15. #51

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    plc1805--Thanks so much for your post--just the fact that someone else knows exactly what I mean helps so much! Losing one was so hard, my heart breaks for you that you lost two at the same time! I can't even imagine, and almost feel stupid for complaining about my loss when yours (and so many others) had to have been so much harder to deal with! I've been feeling so lonely--DF and kids help somewhat, but they just don't know what to do or say around me. It's like everyone is walking on egg shells. I feel like I'm always 1/2 a second away from breaking down. Then I feel like it's been a month, so it should be getting easier--yet at times it just feels like I'm regressing. I truly don't feel like I'll be happy again until I get that BFP! Trying to stay strong and have faith is so hard when the slideshow just keeps going.... Thanks again for your post--everyone's posts are the only things keeping me sane right now!

    tempus--I, too, tend to withdraw during these times. I just don't know what to do or say, or even how to act! Just can't seem to keep my emotions under wrap. I know I'm alive, because I'm breathing and moving, but inside I feel completely dead and just at a loss... It's amazing how everyone here makes me feel somewhat "normal", and much less selfish than I let myself feel. Thanks so much for your post!

    Emmy-Lou--Thanks for the positive affirmation! I'm not kidding when I say that this forum is my saving grace!

    JMG--Hope your signs are those of a BFP! Keep up the positive thoughts!

    Canary--Thanks so much for understanding! Despite everything we've all been through, I have to think that things happen for a reason, and we've all been brought together by the grace of God to help each other through these tough times!

    Laura--Congrats on the BFP! I truly hope this is the month for you! Good luck tomorrow at your appt! Wishing you a healthy, happy pg!

  16. #52

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    Natty--how did your interview go?

  17. #53

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    Forgot to ask on my last post, but I was wondering if anyone could tell me the significance of taking a baby aspirin a day? Does it help aid in conception, or is it something that I'll have to take even while I'm pg? Thanks....

    One more thing, I was wondering if anyone could tell me how to add my ticker to my signature? It says I have to cut and paste the code--when I do that, the code shows up instead of my ticker! Help!
    Last edited by jen805; April 7th, 2008 at 02:20 AM.

  18. #54

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    Hello Everyone!
    Jen805~ Just thought that I would let you know that I also read your post and it really hit home for me also. It is hard not to feel like everyone is looking at you and analyzing how you are feeling and wanting to talk to you and all you want to do is crawl in a hole and hide until it doesn't hurt anymore...Time will heal us though and I believe we will both be on the BFP train again soon!

    Last night, I had a similar pain...We went to dinner with some friends of ours and one of the girls was pg just a few weeks before me and lucky for me, last night she was already showing. At first, it hurt to even look at her-but eventually I was able to let it go....and then the unthinkable, right in front of me (and yes she knew I m/c) she actually started complaining about being pregnant and about growing fat and about what was she going to do with two kids now!!! I was so outraged and screaming on the inside and yet I had to stand there and try to smile...My DH and I got in the car and he immediately let me know that he had heard it too and that he was sorry...we were all going to our house and I told him if she complains one more time, I was going to have to say something because it was hurting my feelings....Back at the house, she didn't complain but the conversation was all about babies on and on-I almost felt like she was rubbing my face in it...It;s funny how some people are so caring and others are just downright insensitive...I was happy for her to go home at the end of the night but as a group, we did end up having a good time playing Apples to Apples (a fun group party game if you have never played). Thanks for letting me vent!!!!

    On the symptoms side of things, I feel like there still might be a chance for me this month...I had bleeding light at 4dpo and then a little more on 5-7 and now it has stopped...I have some tightness in my abdomen and breasts are just slightly sore so I am really hoping maybe I will get a BFP-no testing until next Saturday-if I can help it...

    Congratulations and Good luck to JMG and Laura-I hope your blood tests are big healthy numbers!

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