TTC after Miscarriage or Loss ~ February 08

**bettyboop** · February 16th, 2008, 04:31 PM

fingers crossed for berecca. i am trying to wait till tuesday to test

**Banx** · February 16th, 2008, 08:00 PM

Thanks Angel Babies!

Good to hear from u too!

I have my fingers crossed for all of you..

Praying that one day soon you will all get your little miracle!

xox love B

**Canary** · February 16th, 2008, 09:52 PM

helllooo!
Thanks Pbstar. I have read the ff thing and am a little less confused about the CM now. I dont think that I'll bother to check internally- I'm way too squeamish. Totally agree about the hygeine thing (was that from AJC, sorry, cant remember) I have been charting my temps, but had a fever for a couple of days, so those didnt count. My chart looks funny (I think), as my temp fluctuates a fair bit. I am still waiting for O, but if my cycle is 32 days (I think 32 is normal for me), then I should O on 21st.

I have read conflicting advice on the ff website. One bit that I read said that you shoud BD AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE in your fertile window, unless you have male fertility issues. That should please DH!

Another part of the website said every other day. I think I am just going to choose which advice to follow, depending on my mood!

Hoping soon, IKWYM about not telling DH and about being scarred. I did not tell DH during my last pg until I absolutely had to (because I was off for a scan to make sure it wasnt ectopic) I dont think that your hormones will be helping at the moment, as your emotions will be all over the place. Take care of yourself and take some time out to relax. Some advice that I found particularly helpful was that you need to remember that you are doing everything you can to make sure your baby has the best start and that your pregnancy is healthy. That helped me to relax. If you can't tell DH about your anxieties yet, remember that we are all here to listen. Finally, have some

I hope that helps!

Brockstar, welcome to BB and sorry for your miscarriage. IKWYM about wanting to try again ASAP. Dont feel guilty about doing BD, I am sure that your angel bub would understand that you are not trying to replace him/her. The BD is not only for making babies! I found that it helped take my mind off things and bring DH and I closer after the m/c.

Berecca,

Hope you are all having a great weekend so far. I am off to clean the house.
Toodle-oo.

**berecca623** · February 16th, 2008, 10:27 PM

I'm sooo tired and yet too nervous to go to sleep. When I wake up tomorrow that will be it one way or the other and not sure I am ready for a BFN after all!

Thanx for all the good luck and

to you all!

**nicksterUK** · February 17th, 2008, 05:19 AM

to pbstar and brockstar- so sorry to hear your sad news. Welcome to this amazing place where you find unbelievable TLC and support. I sincerely hope your stay here is short, but sweet xx

Hopingsoon and Banx, hope you can both soon relax and enjoy your pg's. Take care of yourselves, as well as those precious bubs

Yo AJC!! Shame you didn't put a bloody great rock on the bottom that would 'boobytrap' when the pots were moved and fall out on their toes!! Grrrr.... I feel mad for you (I hate injustices of all kinds). Perhaps you need to put your address on the pots (at the back)- something like 'stolen fom .....'!!

My hanging baskets were nicked 2 summers ago, so I threaded wire through them and actually connected them to the brackets. They ain't goin' nowhere now!!

TM Hope you feel okay after such a sad day. Hoping you soon have something to really smile about xx

BettyB-

for you for tuesday x and Berecca too, got fingers crossed x

Hi Canary and Angel, and everyone else

Well, I've had a strange half-term week off school- done absolutely NO lesson plans or marking

been decorating and buying new carpets instead!! I'm really happy with the 2 rooms and it's helped take my mind off af (which STILL has not arrived!!?), Pretty sure am not pg as no sore bbs and test on 13th was negative.
Have seriously gone off bd'ing- don't know why, just feel very despondent, and poor DH has dipped out this week - even Valentine's Day :-( Have to give myself a stern talking to (sort me out Angel!) as I won't get pg this way will I?
Anyway, back to school on Monday (oh yay) so life will become really hectic again (back to normal then!!) Maybe I'll be able to get jiggy again then.

Love n hugs all xxxxxxxxxxxx

**Katiegirl** · February 17th, 2008, 05:44 AM

Hi Everyone and welcome Brookster and pbstar. I am so sorry for the loss of your babies and I hope you find support here, I know it has helped me immensely.

I am still charting and FF put my O 5 days ago, but it has the dashed lines so is not sure. Great! I actually think I oed a couple of days later. My temps still look on the low side, I think I will talk to my naturopath about it when I see her in a week and a half. Sometimes I think it would be easier not to temp as ignorance is bliss, but then I guess if I am not Oing then I need to find out sooner rather than later. My CM suggests I O but my temps are not so certain. But regardless we TTCed like mad so should be in with a fighting chance. I am getting myself ready for AF as I don't want to plummet from disappointment. It was so easy with Nathaniel, one month I realised AF was later and did a test and that was it. I hope this time will be just as easy. The waiting part is not fun.

Bettyboop, I have my fingers crossed for you for Tuesday. You have had such a long wait so it is about time!

I hope everyone is having a nice weekend. We have been so lazy, I even fell asleep yesterday and slept for over 3 hours! I couldn't believe it when I woke up, it felt like a waste of a day.

**pbstar** · February 17th, 2008, 06:18 AM

hi all and thanks for your welcomes

well i am on CD8 now and counting...canary i too have found the advice about how often to BD a bit confusing but at the moment i am sticking to the every second day thing, maybe when i get closer to when i think i will o i might step it up though...it's all good fun though isn't it?

i was thinking about starting using OPK's- do you guys use them or do you think it's unnecessary? how many tester strips do you usually get in a packet?

well i am going to stop procrastinating and go and tackle my huge basket of ironing...yay!!!

have a great day all and hopefully we hear some good news from berecca!

**plc1805** · February 17th, 2008, 08:38 AM

Hi ladies - sorry have not posted in a bit (prob only a couple of days but feels like much longer!) but have been lurking....

Welcome to the new ladies - ul find lots and lots of support in this lovely fold!! So sorry for your losses

Hi to everyone else - I'm sorry for not doing personals but wishing everyone the most exquisite of

so that we cam romp in the BFPs

Berecca - esp wishing you some special double lines today....we're here for ya!!

**Baby Angels** · February 17th, 2008, 09:02 AM

Ohhh I wish I could sort you out this time.... I m smacking my own hand at the moment.... You will have to wait in line.....LOL.

I turn around to DH last night...... tell him that the programe I enter my temps in says tonights the night..... (we were laying in bed without a stitch on at the time.... deliberatly early)....HE DOES NOTHING.......NOTHING...NOTHING...

I layed there in bed for about 5 minutes then rolled over. I layed there thinking.... well actions speak louder than words buddy..... I m here taking whatever herbs or drinks I have to....Popping pills daily, I ve just gone through an IVF cycle (which is the ultimate invasion) and you... you.... you who is the one with the fertility issue, wont take your herbs (apparently they dont taste nice....ohhh no chit) you still have the occasional smoke.... AThere is NOTHING wrong with my fertility and I m the one doing EVERYTHING and your just laying there doing NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...... Ohhh did I not make my point strong enough...... NOTHING... NOTHING.....NOTHING.....

So here I am "o" and I m not even talking to the *********** (insert swear word there)

So before I can convince you to BD Nickster.... I have to convince myself!

Ohhhhhh PS... Yes I do chuck tanties...... this is one of them

**berecca623** · February 17th, 2008, 09:16 AM

I was soooo sure this was THE month, my body has never reacted so weirdly before! DH tried to help by saying maybe because it is the day before AF is due the HcG wasn't strong enough but there is no hope here anymore. I am so angry at myself for getting my hopes up.

Pbstar - I bought the first response kit that came with 7 test strips AND a pregnancy test. I haven't charted my temps before so I thought this was a good way. It also informs you 24 to 36 hours before you O so you can make sure you are timing BDing properly.

Angel babies - I feel your frustration and pain. Have you said any of this to your DH?? I know I would. I am assuming he wants this too so maybe you need to yell at him a bit and tell him nothing will happen if he doesn't do what he is supposed to! My DH is a pain in the ass too. I bought the OPK because he wouldn't BD with me as much as I wanted to, or at the right time. This way I got him involved, although still not perfect. Yet he is the one pushing for this as much as me. What is it about males???

As for me, preparing for AF tomorrow, going to buy some panty liners as I will be at work tomorrow and know it will come when I am teaching a class! Also going to buy a BBT thermometer and give that a go as well.

My smug best friend, who told me she was pg a week after my m/c (and yes she knew) told me that I had to relax and not worry if it doesn't happen cause that's what she did and it worked. YEAH RIGHT. Does she forget the things she said to me, how desperate she was, how she tested with HPT 4 days before her AF was due (even though now she says it was the day before). Does she have selective amnesia???? Does she think now she is pg she is the expert?? Or is it that she doesn't want me to be pg as well??? The other day she started spending more time with a friend she hasn't seen in ages and said directly to me "Us pg women need to stick together". Insensitive b**ch! Grrrr

Thanx for listening to my rant. Still not 100% but getting there!

**Katiegirl** · February 17th, 2008, 09:48 AM

Berecca I am so sorry that your friend has been so insensitive. I would be taking the 'best' part of the friend title! I can't even imagine how much it must hurt you to hear her say those things. She obviously have no clue how traumatic your loss has been. Big hugs to you.

Will post more later.

**AJC** · February 17th, 2008, 10:04 AM

Bereca - Hugs to you. Af arrived for me too yesterday and I felt exactly the same way as you, positive that this was our month. But BFN and af arriving dashed that little daydream. Am sorry to hear your best friend has been insensitive, what a cow saying that pg people need to stick together, that's really supportive of her - NOT!!!!

Angel Babies - sorry to hear that DH isn't making an effort. My DH has been ok but I think he could make more of an effort. Doc asked him to go for a Semen analysis over a month ago and he still hasn't gone (meanwhile over the last 5 months I've undergone countless tests and procedures and have actually looked forward to getting them done).

Needless to say the multivitamin I bought over 8 weeks ago (with 60 in the jar) is still over half full and yet he says that he's only missed a few days. I'm no mathematic expert but we should be due to buy a new jar by now if he was taking them properly. I feel your frustration, as for the BD - I no longer tell DH when it the ideal BD time cause it's too much pressure it is almost like it's our first time again (like first, first time when it's trial and error). I would def. try to talk to him though?

Nickster - lol the the 'stolen from....' idea. Love it! I want to get more to put out there because I refuse to live in a world where I have to adjust my way of life because of low life scum bags! Will def. booby trap them though. We have a big red back spider problem here so I hope there were some in those pots (highly likely). Not saying I hope they were bitten, nature will just take its course that's all, he he he.

Welcome Brockstar - hope your stay in here is full of support and of course very short

Banx - thanks for dropping by. Success stories always give me a little boost so please please please anytime you think of us drop on and say hi would love to hear how you & bub are going. Best wishes for a happy and healthy remaining 6mths. XX

Bettyboop - Good luck for Tue.

Sorry if I missed anyone.

**Baby Angels** · February 17th, 2008, 01:13 PM

OHHHHH (yes i m still in tanty mode) It is DH that this is all being done for.

I am 38 years old (well for the next couple of months anyway) My son is 19 in a few weeks and the other is 16. I thought my baby makin days were over. I thought the next step for me was Grandmother. Then I met DH (5 years ago) This is not being done for me (not saying that I wouldnt love to be a mother again.... i certainly would) but if it wasnt for DH then I wouldnt be doing it. He has no children (obviously due to his infertility) I as a wife and someone who loves him dearly I would do anything to try and give him that opportunity to know the love that you have with your children which is unlike anything imaginable.

Thats why i m throwing a tanty. I love him dearly but so far I have been through 3 operations, countless... countless injections, countless... countless medications, temping everyday, (waking each day and forcing TTC to be the first thing on my mind each day) Giving up smoking, nearly cutting out coffee (oh and if you knew me 12 months ago you would have said that was impossible) OMG the list goes on, I dont drink, I try and stay calm all the time (for the health of the eggs) I have accupunture weekly... Ohhhh I could keep going. He complains about not being able to smoke as much (cause he still does sneak them) complains about the herbs and wont have them.

To add to all that, I have his mother suggestion maybe we look at donor eggs and telling me that maybe the coffee i did have while I was pregnant was not good for my angels because coffee causes miscarriages (obviously I promptly put her in her place and told her that s a load of chit... in the nice way i normally....not today.... but normally... do) I also had someone esle say that if she could carry the baby for us she would......, I want to yell and scream sometimes...... it has NOTHING to do with me.... I dont need an egg donor, I have 2 children, I can carry a baby, In IVF I had 9 very healthy eggss and even through sperm injection only 2 sperm wanted to play the game. Why doesnt someone look at DH and tell him to pull his finger out.

Now tomorrow I ll go back to loving him dearly but right now.... ohhhhhh If i had a pillow in my hand he would cop a floggin.

**plc1805** · February 17th, 2008, 07:50 PM

Berecca - so sorry honey about BFN. Chin up and onto next month -

As for your so-called best friend, I've had "best friends" like that before and have learnt over the years that every-so-often you need to do a "friend spring clean" so that the "friend feng shui" is right again. U need good people around u now, sweety.
Angelbabies - I think u have every right to vent esp with the lack of understanding surrounding u!! I really hope it gets better for you.
AJC - also sorry to hear about the lack of effort that surrounds u too - hopin things will change.
pbstar - I use OPKs (my 3rd cycle now) and I think they are good in theory. I'm a little confused about my usage of them cos they've shown different o times for last 2 cycles so kinda keen to see what it says this cycle esp as it's my 1st full BBT charting cycle - good to compare. U get 7 in a pack and I find I use at least that many.
Hi to Katiegirl, nicksterUK, Canary, Banx, bettyboop and anyone else I may have missed.
As for me, on CD7 and thinking about how I have to not TTC this cycle so that the naturopathic herbs can kick in. Part of me wants to DTD anyway cos I don't want to wait yet another month but part of me couldn't risk another m/c if my bod is not up for conceiving yet. I'll be seeing my gyno on Tuesday and see what he says - don't know if he is open to naturopaths - so we'll see....

**berecca623** · February 18th, 2008, 07:39 AM

Well AF is here ladies so I guess I need to start again

I have decided not to dwell or feel depressed, just look towards the future!

No time for personals so just a general good luck to all and

lots of

and

to all!

**plc1805** · February 18th, 2008, 10:00 AM

Berecca - sorry hon re AF

**AJC** · February 18th, 2008, 12:50 PM

berecca - :hugs:

Angelbabies: oh my goodness, what you've been through. I can't believe the things people have said to you.

**tina_k** · February 18th, 2008, 02:56 PM

hello girls, im new here too

struggling to deal with a recent miscarriage, and my SIL announces 1 week later that shes pregnant. I was going to have the first grandchild, and now she is, and im struggling so much to deal with that.
I have days where i cant stop crying.
Im so desperate to concieve again, however, im not in the mood for sex.
Im also struggling with the fact that we have just moved to melbourne, so i have no family or friends, or anyone to talk to...im alone and really sad...i hope i fall pregnant soon, so i can have something to look forward to...