TTC after Miscarriage or Loss ~ February 08

[hopingsoon]

Hi

Tempus I will be thinking of you and your family on saturday.

Thanks for all your kind words. Now I am just really nervous. I haven't told my husband incase something happens again. Last month with the miscarriage my temps didn't really increase much and this time they have gone really high and stayed high so I am hoping that is a good sign. I also had a lot of cramping last time too. This time I am having a bit of pain but I don't know how I would really explain it. It isn't cramping but it isn't normal either. Has anyone had anything like this.

I hope everyone gets bfp's soon.

[AJC]

Tempus: My thoughts are with you & your family today.

***

Canary - I have no idea with the CM either. The only time I think I have had EWCM is usually after bd and is probably, well you know what. Sorry TMI. I started checking my cervix position this month but I don't think I'll do it again. Didn't really help and no matter how clean your hands are I don't think it's the best thing to do along the hygeine lines.

Hoping soon - my last pg I had a pulling stretching type feeling which sort of but not really (if that makes sense) felt like af feeling too. I asked doc about it and she said it is normal and usually goes away around 6 weeks. I also found a little paragraph in the 'what to expect' book which says the same thing - and that some people are more in tune with their bodies hence they feel any little twinge more.

I realised this morn that they had taken a 4th pot - this nice one I had at the front door full of water with frangipanis floating on top. I actually ended up calling police assistance line and reporting it - I know it's no big deal like having a car stolen or a break in but at least if anything else goes missing then I've reported it.

pbstar - welcome. Look forward to getting to know you but hope you're not here long

[Brockstar]

I'm a newbie in this thread, just thought I would pop in and say g'day and see what everyone is up to.

We suffered our 1st m/c 2 weeks ago, and are having a hard time However, as this bub was so wanted and so needed, we have decided that we would ttc straight away and see what happens. I personally think that having something positive to think about will also help me start healing.

So, a question: m/c 2.2008, d&c 3.2.08, no AF since. OB did say anything up to 4 weeks for AF to arrive, but the waiting is really taking it's toll. So, we bit the bullet on Wednesday 13.2 and did the BD. I guess we just wait now?

RIght now I feel ill about the fact that we did BD, because we are still grieving, but we were away for a few days, we'd had a couple of drinks and things were just DIFFERENT iykwim.

[pbstar]

hi brockstar

i think you just have to do what feels right for you...our doctor told us to wait until AF before we started TTC again but we didn't want to, we started about a week and a half after the D+C

i got AF last sunday but i am glad i didn't wait to ttc until then- i think it helped me having something positive to focus on and it helped us stay connected to each other...

good luck and i hope you don't have to wait too long for some good news.

[Banx]

Hey Girls,

Just dropping in to let you know that there is hope for all of you out there!

I have had 2 m/c, My most recent one was in Nov 07..

I fell pregnant 9 days after it and now i am 3 days away from 12 weeks...

Good luck and Baby Dust for everyone TTC after M/c or loss

I know what it feels like.. Brings tears to my eyes..

Luv B
xox

[Baby Angels]

Banx..... I am so glad to hear from you and congratulate you on getting to the 12 week mark.

Brockstar...... Your greiving girl..... Everything is going to be or feel different. It feels different in the morning when you wake up, it feels different in the middle of the day when you stare blankly out to nothing.... mentally miles away....... EVERYTHING is different..... All I can say Brockstar is TIME......One day at a time, dont push yourself, dont try and do it at someone elses pace, you take your time and do it your way. I lost my angels New Years Eve and New Years Day. I was an absolute mess and now..... the fog has lifted, each day is brighter than the previous one. ONE DAY AT A TIME.

Hoping....... fingers are crossed for you.

As for CM..... NO CLUE.....my little programe I use insists I am now at my most fertile stage.... My CM says I m not, my temp hasnt dropped and the last pee stick said that I wasnt "o"........ NO CLUE IN THE WORLD..... so to play safe..... its been BD BD BD and tonight it will be BD..... keeps a smile on hubby s face

[bettyboop]

hello to all the newbies, i am now 11dpo

[berecca623]

This time tomorrow I am going to know one way or the other. I have brought another HPT and am testing tomorrow morning with FMU. AF is due Monday afternoon (I am very regular even down to approx time, in THAT way I suppose I am lucky) and I want to be prepared if AF is indeed on the way. However all those signs, never happened before. I just keep mentally chanting "Don't get your hopes up yet, don't get your hopes up yet!"

[bettyboop]

fingers crossed for berecca. i am trying to wait till tuesday to test

[Banx]

Thanks Angel Babies!

Good to hear from u too!

I have my fingers crossed for all of you..

Praying that one day soon you will all get your little miracle!

xox love B

[Canary]

helllooo!
Thanks Pbstar. I have read the ff thing and am a little less confused about the CM now. I dont think that I'll bother to check internally- I'm way too squeamish. Totally agree about the hygeine thing (was that from AJC, sorry, cant remember) I have been charting my temps, but had a fever for a couple of days, so those didnt count. My chart looks funny (I think), as my temp fluctuates a fair bit. I am still waiting for O, but if my cycle is 32 days (I think 32 is normal for me), then I should O on 21st.

I have read conflicting advice on the ff website. One bit that I read said that you shoud BD AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE in your fertile window, unless you have male fertility issues. That should please DH! Another part of the website said every other day. I think I am just going to choose which advice to follow, depending on my mood!

Hoping soon, IKWYM about not telling DH and about being scarred. I did not tell DH during my last pg until I absolutely had to (because I was off for a scan to make sure it wasnt ectopic) I dont think that your hormones will be helping at the moment, as your emotions will be all over the place. Take care of yourself and take some time out to relax. Some advice that I found particularly helpful was that you need to remember that you are doing everything you can to make sure your baby has the best start and that your pregnancy is healthy. That helped me to relax. If you can't tell DH about your anxieties yet, remember that we are all here to listen. Finally, have some I hope that helps!

Brockstar, welcome to BB and sorry for your miscarriage. IKWYM about wanting to try again ASAP. Dont feel guilty about doing BD, I am sure that your angel bub would understand that you are not trying to replace him/her. The BD is not only for making babies! I found that it helped take my mind off things and bring DH and I closer after the m/c.

Berecca,

Hope you are all having a great weekend so far. I am off to clean the house.
Toodle-oo.

[berecca623]

I'm sooo tired and yet too nervous to go to sleep. When I wake up tomorrow that will be it one way or the other and not sure I am ready for a BFN after all!

Thanx for all the good luck and to you all!

[nicksterUK]

to pbstar and brockstar- so sorry to hear your sad news. Welcome to this amazing place where you find unbelievable TLC and support. I sincerely hope your stay here is short, but sweet xx

Hopingsoon and Banx, hope you can both soon relax and enjoy your pg's. Take care of yourselves, as well as those precious bubs

Yo AJC!! Shame you didn't put a bloody great rock on the bottom that would 'boobytrap' when the pots were moved and fall out on their toes!! Grrrr.... I feel mad for you (I hate injustices of all kinds). Perhaps you need to put your address on the pots (at the back)- something like 'stolen fom .....'!! My hanging baskets were nicked 2 summers ago, so I threaded wire through them and actually connected them to the brackets. They ain't goin' nowhere now!!

TM Hope you feel okay after such a sad day. Hoping you soon have something to really smile about xx

BettyB- for you for tuesday x and Berecca too, got fingers crossed x

Hi Canary and Angel, and everyone else

Well, I've had a strange half-term week off school- done absolutely NO lesson plans or marking been decorating and buying new carpets instead!! I'm really happy with the 2 rooms and it's helped take my mind off af (which STILL has not arrived!!?), Pretty sure am not pg as no sore bbs and test on 13th was negative.
Have seriously gone off bd'ing- don't know why, just feel very despondent, and poor DH has dipped out this week - even Valentine's Day :-( Have to give myself a stern talking to (sort me out Angel!) as I won't get pg this way will I?
Anyway, back to school on Monday (oh yay) so life will become really hectic again (back to normal then!!) Maybe I'll be able to get jiggy again then.

Love n hugs all xxxxxxxxxxxx

[Katiegirl]

Hi Everyone and welcome Brookster and pbstar. I am so sorry for the loss of your babies and I hope you find support here, I know it has helped me immensely.

I am still charting and FF put my O 5 days ago, but it has the dashed lines so is not sure. Great! I actually think I oed a couple of days later. My temps still look on the low side, I think I will talk to my naturopath about it when I see her in a week and a half. Sometimes I think it would be easier not to temp as ignorance is bliss, but then I guess if I am not Oing then I need to find out sooner rather than later. My CM suggests I O but my temps are not so certain. But regardless we TTCed like mad so should be in with a fighting chance. I am getting myself ready for AF as I don't want to plummet from disappointment. It was so easy with Nathaniel, one month I realised AF was later and did a test and that was it. I hope this time will be just as easy. The waiting part is not fun.

Bettyboop, I have my fingers crossed for you for Tuesday. You have had such a long wait so it is about time!

I hope everyone is having a nice weekend. We have been so lazy, I even fell asleep yesterday and slept for over 3 hours! I couldn't believe it when I woke up, it felt like a waste of a day.

[pbstar]

hi all and thanks for your welcomes

well i am on CD8 now and counting...canary i too have found the advice about how often to BD a bit confusing but at the moment i am sticking to the every second day thing, maybe when i get closer to when i think i will o i might step it up though...it's all good fun though isn't it?

i was thinking about starting using OPK's- do you guys use them or do you think it's unnecessary? how many tester strips do you usually get in a packet?

well i am going to stop procrastinating and go and tackle my huge basket of ironing...yay!!!

have a great day all and hopefully we hear some good news from berecca!

[plc1805]

Hi ladies - sorry have not posted in a bit (prob only a couple of days but feels like much longer!) but have been lurking....
Welcome to the new ladies - ul find lots and lots of support in this lovely fold!! So sorry for your losses
Hi to everyone else - I'm sorry for not doing personals but wishing everyone the most exquisite of so that we cam romp in the BFPs
Berecca - esp wishing you some special double lines today....we're here for ya!!

[Baby Angels]

Ohhh I wish I could sort you out this time.... I m smacking my own hand at the moment.... You will have to wait in line.....LOL.

I turn around to DH last night...... tell him that the programe I enter my temps in says tonights the night..... (we were laying in bed without a stitch on at the time.... deliberatly early)....HE DOES NOTHING.......NOTHING...NOTHING...

I layed there in bed for about 5 minutes then rolled over. I layed there thinking.... well actions speak louder than words buddy..... I m here taking whatever herbs or drinks I have to....Popping pills daily, I ve just gone through an IVF cycle (which is the ultimate invasion) and you... you.... you who is the one with the fertility issue, wont take your herbs (apparently they dont taste nice....ohhh no chit) you still have the occasional smoke.... AThere is NOTHING wrong with my fertility and I m the one doing EVERYTHING and your just laying there doing NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...... Ohhh did I not make my point strong enough...... NOTHING... NOTHING.....NOTHING.....

So here I am "o" and I m not even talking to the *********** (insert swear word there)

So before I can convince you to BD Nickster.... I have to convince myself!

Ohhhhhh PS... Yes I do chuck tanties...... this is one of them

[berecca623]

I was soooo sure this was THE month, my body has never reacted so weirdly before! DH tried to help by saying maybe because it is the day before AF is due the HcG wasn't strong enough but there is no hope here anymore. I am so angry at myself for getting my hopes up.

Pbstar - I bought the first response kit that came with 7 test strips AND a pregnancy test. I haven't charted my temps before so I thought this was a good way. It also informs you 24 to 36 hours before you O so you can make sure you are timing BDing properly.

Angel babies - I feel your frustration and pain. Have you said any of this to your DH?? I know I would. I am assuming he wants this too so maybe you need to yell at him a bit and tell him nothing will happen if he doesn't do what he is supposed to! My DH is a pain in the ass too. I bought the OPK because he wouldn't BD with me as much as I wanted to, or at the right time. This way I got him involved, although still not perfect. Yet he is the one pushing for this as much as me. What is it about males???

As for me, preparing for AF tomorrow, going to buy some panty liners as I will be at work tomorrow and know it will come when I am teaching a class! Also going to buy a BBT thermometer and give that a go as well.

My smug best friend, who told me she was pg a week after my m/c (and yes she knew) told me that I had to relax and not worry if it doesn't happen cause that's what she did and it worked. YEAH RIGHT. Does she forget the things she said to me, how desperate she was, how she tested with HPT 4 days before her AF was due (even though now she says it was the day before). Does she have selective amnesia???? Does she think now she is pg she is the expert?? Or is it that she doesn't want me to be pg as well??? The other day she started spending more time with a friend she hasn't seen in ages and said directly to me "Us pg women need to stick together". Insensitive b**ch! Grrrr

Thanx for listening to my rant. Still not 100% but getting there!