TTC after Miscarriage or Loss ~ February 08

[bettyboop]

my day just gets worse, another close friend just told me she is pregnant, i asked her afew weeks ago if she was and said she was not , she said she was sorry for lying and did not want to hurt me, the minute she left i started crying and i have not stoped since, just to add to the rest of the day, still no AF

[AJC]

Oh bettyboop - I'm sorry your having such a bad day. I think you should help yourself to some of that cybercake that Angelbabies baked. It sounds delicious.

ll80 - April will be here before you know it. Relax and spoil yourself until then so your body will be ready to give you that BFP!

This is our last month of trying 'naturally' (at this stage anyway) as doc wants me to start clomid next cycle. Hopefully it will give my hormones that extra helping hand and hopefully it will help a little bubba burrow nice and snug and stay for the long haul this time. I'm just hoping it doesn't make me too moody, will just have to take each day as it comes. Luckily I have annual leave planned for when I start so if there are any side effects I can take it easy. I'll still try hard for this cycle but a part of my kind of hopes that it doesn't happen this cycle becaue my gut instinct is telling me the clomid will be for the better?!?!?!??!?

Hugs to all and i think I'll go have myself a bit of Angelbabies' cake if there's any left.

We all really need some good news in here don't we. Oh well, at least we had some good news lately from hopingsoon.

[STARRYSKY]

:hugs: bettyboop hun, I am so sorry youre feeling so down, though I completely understand. cry and vent all you want we are all here for you to listen and hold your hand.
why is life so bloody unfair?

[Baby Angels]

Well I snapped. I lost it and DH coped it. While I understood what he was saying I just couldnt allow for it to be used as an excuse. As I said to him, I have gone through everything he has but I still keep going. I still have whatever medication I have to have, I do whatever I have to do, I have injections, pills, temps, operations.... whatever and still put up with the ignorace of people who think its me. I told him that I want to scream out and say .... its not me... its him but I cant. He told me I should say it and I told him I could never do that to him. I didnt dwell on everything, I spat out what I was furious about and then left it at that. It was a very quiet afternoon where he didnt say anything but guess what..... he ended up getting in the car and driving to the chemist to buy empty capsule so he can put his herbs in it so he can start taking his herbs. I m not thinking for a second that he will start taking them tonight.... but hey.. he knows how I feel now and he knows that his behavious is putting a wedge in our relationship that I know he doesnt want in there.

So I suppose that the possibility of any BFP are gone now for this month, I m talking to him again, didnt say I m prepared for any degree of jiggy yet.

Maybe next month.

[berecca623]

Angel Babies - Good on you for getting it all out and telling him how you feel! Its not good for you to keep it all bottled in like that and now you are in a better frame, emotionally for TTC!

AJC - Good luck for this month but I understand about you maybe wanting it to happen next month, more confidence it will stick!

Bettyboop - :hugs: IKMYM - happened to me too. Try to look ahead. My best friend announced to everyone on Friday she was pregnant (we work together) and I couldn't go into the Staff Room all day. All that squealing and excitement and all that pregnancy talk, too much. I just thought that would have been me first! Hope the ashermans gut instinct is wrong and that you are all good!

TinaK - Sorry about your SIL, hopefully it will happen for you too soon.

Magda - people can be so cruel, especially the ones who are supposed to love you and you expect to look after you the most. My MIL is a non-issue at the moment as DH hasn't spoken to her in months. She didn't even know I was pg let alone the m/c and I am thankful for that, shes not the nicest to me at the best of times! My mum makes stupid comments but I don't think she means them. She is knitting me a baby blanket, had started before my m/c and the other day said she hopes it takes me a while as the blanket will takes ages to finish!

plc - If there is something wrong I suppose it is better to know and fix it, although it sucks big time if something is found! Good luck and hope it all goes well for you.

As for me, well yesterday woke up in excrutuating pain in my back and went to docs. First thing he said was Oh you're pg. Had to correct that which annoyed me. OK I went to the Women's for my m/c related stuff but I know they fax everything off to my doctor so it was just lazy on someones part at the surgery not to update my file. Then had xrays and told to go home. I KNOW this injury is due to work and yet I can't get any docs to say my back problem is because I USE A FING COMPUTER ALL DAY!!!! Hello??? My dad and his wife have the same problem, in the EXACT same spot, and they have workcover to pay for it. Yet I am out at least $70 EVERY WEEK for my treatments. I have decided I will keep going to docs until someone agrees with me. It is in the spot where people have trouble from using computers, I am a computer teacher and spend 8 hours a day either using mine or leaning over kids and helping them. Do the maths!

Grr OK well I feel a little better now, although I know this back problem is stopping me from conceiving. Its a pain in more than one way!!!

[plc1805]

Hi ladies - got just a bit of time to say hi and catch-up!!

Bec - I have heard about people that have back treatment and then conceive when they couldn't before. Maybe something in it for you. What treatments are you having? Thx for your words of support.
Angelbabies - 2 c's in a marriage that I live by - commitment and communication. Seems like you're mastering both at the moment - and how wonderful that your husband went and got his herb container like that. Pity that you have to go off your rocker so that he does it but...he still did it! Thx also for your advice and telling me of your experiences, I will certainly go with what feels right. And, yes, my birthday is 18 May
Magda - thx also for your words of comfort and encouragement - and GL to you hun with whatever "relaxing" is meant to mean - I know it is VERY frustrating!!

Hugs to everyone else of you lovely ladies. Btw, I actually took 2 pieces of Angelbabies mouth watering cake so I hope everyone got to have some and didn't miss out.

Big day tomorrow at "Lap City" so I'll be sure to let you guys know how it goes. Extra special positive vibes to you all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Magda]

Bettyboop: I am so sorry to hear about your day. It will happen for you soon, I can feel it. Have a great day.

Bec: Your mother sounds so cute. Your baby is going to have that comfy blanket when it arrives.

PLC: Thanks. Ok, ok so I am trying more than I am actually "relaxing". You know I never in my 41 yrs even knew that cm actually came out for a reason, or that it had a function or heck what it was. Now today everytime I went to the bathroom I wiped 2x and inspected the tissue for cm. I got nothing so now I am paranoid that I did not o. Also I had cramps on one side today so I am hoping that I o'd that's another thing I never paid any attention to having any o pains. When I started ttc in Oct my girlfriend said don't you know when you o every month and I was like what? Needless to say I have not been relaxing I have been thinking way too much. Good luck tomorrow.

To all the lovely ladies here, have a great evening.

[Baby Angels]

Ohhh I just feel just a tad stupid at the moment. I have posted my last 2 replies in a different thread. Ohhhh DOH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ohhh I feel like such a twat, they were probably reading it thinking... what... firstly who are you again and where did you come from and what the heck are you going on about with your DH.

So first things first I ll copy my posts in here.

POST 1

DH s Herbs

Well he did it. He sat there last night with his herbs and his 100 empty capsules filled them all. Then took 6 (the equivelant qty of powder perscribed). I was a tad shocked. However he then just said to me "so why do I need to come" (in regards to my accupunture appointment today) Again I felt like yelling and saying "hey i m the one being jabbed with needles for an hour the absolute least you can do is be there. Maybe you could also get off your A**** and ask her if there is something else you can do" BUT I didnt. I just said, 'today is our day off lets not spend it sitting in front of our computers again'



Whats that saying.... "Lord give me Patients..... RIGHT F***ing NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"


POST 2

Well apparently I am now officially in the 2ww. Not an IVF 2ww this time a natural one.

Just got back from the accupunturist (who is also a qualified midwife) took my charts to her to look at and she said that "0" was on the 13th and 14th. Hubby was behaving nicely on the 13th and 14th and certainly got his fair share of Jiggy. (just hasnt gotten any since) I had my pre "o" accupunture the day before on the 12th and today I had my "sticking" accupunture. Soooo therefore everything that could possibly be done has been and now its time to just try and stay calm and wait and see. She recommended waiting unti the 29th to test. (wouldnt that all be ironic. Valantines conception and find out on the 29th of Feb (leap year).

So now I have ballbearings stuck to points on my wrist that I am to put pressure on whenever I want to throw something again. I have more chinese herbs to assist with the stress levels I currently have (my tanti levels) and her email address to contact her if i m not managing to stay calm. (she s even put me on a time limit as to how long i can be up at night.) (yeah I know there is a word for that but it escapes me at the moment)

I ve also had big chats with DH. Told him that I want to know what he wants to do. If he wants a baby and wants to continue TTC then time to step up to the plate, If not then let me know and I will stop jumping through all these hoops.

SOOOO basically we are in 2ww mode not knowing if we will ever be again, this might just be the last time.

Ok... now your all updated...OMG what a twat.

OHHH and PLC1805........ 18th of May is my birthday as well. hence why the abreviation stood out to me. Absolute best of luck for tomorrow. :doctor:

Well thats enough from me now that I ve had to redo my posts....

and it looks like we need some more cake... who s turn is it

[AJC]

Angelbabies - sounds like a load off your shoulders since you snapped with DH. I hope you are feeling better because you sound heaps better - I guess as long as DH keeps up with his part of the bargain. Good luck for the tww. Would be pretty cool to have a bub conceived on Valentines Day & the BFP on 29 Feb. 29 Feb always feels like a 'bonus' day when it occurs. Fingers crossed for you and sending loads of positive vibes your way.

Berecca - hope the back pain eases up.

plc - good luck tomorrow and hope you get some good news. Sounds like doc is being thorough and that's what you want, someone who will look after you.

Everyone else (sorry won't list in fear I'll miss someone): Hang in there and hope you're all doing ok. I really hope we get some good news in here real soon. Am going to get my clomid script filled next week so it's all ready to go when af arrives next. Not writing this month of completely - just trying to sit back and relax a little. Our house is like candle city at the moment, candles everywhere but they make the house feel so peaceful, I love them.

I might go bake some cybercake now, how about little vanilla cup cakes with pink and blue icing for good luck?

[Baby Angels]

Maybe you could pipe onto the cup cakes the as well

[nicksterUK]

Angel you cracked me up! lol So glad you got everything out in the open with DH. They need serious straight talking sometimes, subtlety goes over their heads completely!! Am very excited for your TWW- sending GOOD vibes your way ....!
Thanks for the scrummy cake too, fabulous!

BettyB- cannot believe how difficult things are for you- it must feel like it's just one thing after another, so very, very sorry you xx Tell you what tho- you must be in line for the BEST of pg and motherhood to make up for it. Here's hoping x

Hi to all who are having tough times with insensative in-laws, pain in the a*** partners and also every bloody pg woman around. BAH! Life's a ***** sometimes- drink wine and eat cake. Stuff 'em all, and then stuff yourselves mmmmm...(I had a pink and a blue cake to cover both eventualities hee hee )

Suddenly occured to me that I should think about taking another pg test (maybe) since af still has not arrived and maybe i took it too early before. Still not aware of any 'symptoms' as such- although since I thought 'the thought' IYKWIM I've started imagining funny tastes and sore nips etc. I dunno...maybe clutching at straws (no, am DEFINITELY clutching at straws...I think!) if no show on af by the weekend I'll probably test again- at least I'll know for sure and get rid of these crazy thoughts. Will be defo disappointed with a neg test, so try to get myself ready and in the right frame of mind first.
Take care all- have the rest of a great week, it's my round btw, and I can probably stretch to some pork scratchings too. Where's the cork screw??!!

Love n hugs xx

[smilanatu]

Hello ladies...here's hoping everyone get's a BFP soon! And betty...here's hoping we get AF soon!!! I sure hope you had a better day today!

[tina_k]

hello all,
wishing lots of positive pregnancy tests for everyone

im in the TWW now, so fingers xed.

My BF had a baby this morning, luckily shes in Sydney, so i will have time to work myself up to seeing him and holding him.

katiegirl, thanks for the offer of meeting up, that would be really lovely.
My email address is tinabishay@hotmail.com for any other melbourne gilrs who would like to meet up

[Baby Angels]

I tell you what I am calmer now than I have been in days. DH might even get lucky tonight..... HEY I SAID MIGHT!

PLC1805...... How are you going Birthday Buddy? If it was a good Lap then You will be on here tonight letting us all know the results.... if it was like mine then you will be out of the picture for a week or so. So I expect you to get back to us tonight to let us know it was a good one.

Nickster.... Sometimes I crack myself up... especially when I do such stupid things... I actually sat there laughing loudly. I pictured those women in the other thread..reading and reading again... scrolling up and down to see if there might have been a previous post they had missed and then sitting there dumfounded.... just not getting it....... Ohhh I was highly amuzed. Now as for your POAS why have you not done another one.... Ohhh the patients you must have. How overdue is AF..... No cork screws for you until you have a test missy.... and I want a big message in capitals saying BFP..... or if I cant have that one then I ll deal with a "Pass me the cork screw angel"

Tell you what these chinese herbs are working a treat..... I think I have actually found an official "chill pill". My body is currently a chinese herb factory... 15 a day, 6 fertility 2 and 9 stress 1. All specifically designed to improve everything for baby as well...... assuming the 2ww ends up BFP.

Well high to everyone I ve missed.... I wonder how Tempus is going.... I ll have to catch up again later, have an appointment I have to get to.

[tempus moriendi]

Gonna be a long post because I haven't been on in a long while (yesterday I had trouble logging in).

We buried FIL last Saturday and as you can imagine, it was a painful and exhausting day. We had MIL over on Sunday so she wouldn't have to rattle around the house all by herself. We're all adjusting to the new normal.

Yesterday I had an appointment with the fertility specialist. He did a history and physical and ultrasound and he thinks I might have O already, and I think so, too. To my surprise, I had a good cm pattern this month and yesterday my temp went up and today, too (in spite of all the stress--go figure). I just have to wait for one more day of temp to see if I actually O. FS thinks my problem is immune related (that's his working dx) and I also have to get a hysteroscopy if AF comes to check for adhesions and do a clomid challenge test to assess the general health of my eggs because I'm an ancient, decrepit old lady of 40.

Although I'm happy to start getting some answers (even if he only rules out various problems), I'm a low-key, low-tech kind of gal and this intensive medical scrutiny is stress provoking to me. But it's preferable to doing nothing and risking another angelbub.

bettyboop: sending cyberhug because you sound so sad.
never heard of viagra for lining before. interesting...

Angel Babies: sending cyberhug and a thank you for the cyber- cake and -coffee. Crossed fingers during TWW.

AJC, plc1805, mollycat: sending cyberhug

pbstar: welcome to our thread, hope your stay is a short one.

Canary: usually, fertile-type CM is stretchy between your fingers. But sometimes, the water content of the mucus can be so high that you can't "pick it up" at all. I talked to a Natural Family Planning instructor on another forum once and she said if it feels slippery down there when you wipe with TP to collect the mucus, that counts as a mucus day. Do you do internal checks?

hopingsoon: congrats and I'll be praying hard for you. yes, the temps sound good. but cramping-wise? I cramped with all my seven pregnancies, even the ones that were successful.

Brockstar: I am so, so sorry for your loss. I'll keep you in my prayers. You and DH just try to be real good to each other right now as you work through this.

Banx: I'm sorry for your losses AND happy for your good news. I'll be praying!

berecca623: sorry for your cr@ppy week--AF and insensitive friend and back problems--sending cyberhug

nicksterUK: I'm pulling for you. IKWYM about not feeling as sexy sometimes. After mc, sex becomes a serious business, at least sometimes.

Katiegirl: temps are an excellent cross-check for mucus, so my advice is don't stop doing them. You might have progesterone issues making your temps hard to interpet. talk to your practitioner and good luck.

tina k: I'm so sorry for your loss and you sound very alone right now. I'll keep you in my prayers. If you need to vent and rant, come here, because we know what you're going through. Sending cyberhug

Magda: sending cyberhug. and don't be silly--you aren't "bothering" us with your problems. it's better to vent when you can, and we understand. You might want to avoid your mom if possible for a while.

ll80: best of luck (btw, it's barely above freezing here in the States LOL! my kids went out to play today in snow flurries and wearing hat, scarf and gloves...)

Whew! Hope I didn't leave anybody out. Didn't intend to write the Great American Novel as a post, but I've really missed you ladies.

Have a good one.

[STARRYSKY]

hi guys,
um, this morning I woke up kinda nauseous, didnt think much of it, seem to feel like that all the time just before af, which is due in a few days time, sheesh I can hardly type I am shaking so badly, anyway I thought well, maybe, not getting my hopes up.......didnt have any poas left in the house so went down the shop and got some,came home and not using fmu, obviously (this was only about half an hour ago) anyway I did the deed and straightaway, I got a ****!!!
so here I am, absoluteley bloody petrified, what if af comes anyway, what if I lose this one too, what if............??????
It wasnt even faint like last time........I am so scared, I dont know what to do, my head is going a thousand miles a minute and I cant stop shaking, I want to laugh hysterically and then break down in tears!!! I am a nutcase.....
hmm does that convey the emotional tummult???

[Angel Babies 3]

STARRYSKY,
Let me be the first to say "woo hooooo!!!!!!!".
What great news.
All the very best,
Debbie

[Brockstar]

Starrysky, what a rollercoaster you are on! I have my fingers crossed for you that this one is a sticky one and come Oct/Nov you will be holding your precious, healthy bub.

Come on girls, let's do our best to join Starrysky!!!