TTC after Miscarriage or Loss ~ January 08

[Baby Angels]

Ok.... I have a charting question. Now I know that you cant really expect anything 'normal' in your first cycle after m/c but I m trying to learn it as I go anyway.

SO lets pretend its a "normal" cycle. If you go through "o" which you know it is then because of CM and a temp drop. Then you know its over when your temp goes back up........ what the heck does it mean then when about a week later it drops for one day and then goes straight back up the following day, or does it mean nothing and is just there to confuse the heck out of you.

I m sitting here in my unofficial 2ww watching the temp each morning, and wham a low one. So i sit there thinking.... Ok well thats alright, just means AF going to visit..... You will start your new cycle ..blah blah blah... talking myself into everything being alright even though I didnt get a BFP. I spend all day talking myself into it... telling myself its alright.... fresh start... blah blah blah (obviously it got to me as you could probably tell by my minny tanti yesterday) but then this morning.... wham....... jumps back up again........ and i lay there this morning thinking WT@

Excuse me...... but could someone please help me find my sanity

[Canary]

Angelbabies, I'm really sorry that I cant offer any charting advice, especially after your fabulous coffee post. I have taken my temp for the first time this morning as a practice run. Got it wrong as forgot initially and had been out of bed to the loo, so had to get back in to measure temp! Maybe the fertility friend website holds the answers to your question?

Tempus and Sam, thanks for making me feel less guilty. I also had a bout of vomiting during my first preg and wondered if that could have contributed to the m/c, I guess we will never know for sure. I've got my fingers crossed for you, Sam, hope you get a BFP really soon!

Hope you have all had a great weekend.

[nicksterUK]

hi Canary, hi Angel, Hi all!!
Here I am psyching myself up for another crazy week at work, but at least it keeps my brain occupied. We've had quite a weekend I can tell you! DH and I decided to drive to the garden centre and buy a tree to plant in the front garden in memory of our baby. It was quite sombre because we wanted to choose 'the right' one. Well, we got it (DH was very emotional) and had to poke it through the sunroof as it's already 6 feet tall, but pretty and slender. But the car broke down on the way home (somebody is really piling it on us for some reason!? ) any way, his ex's fiance (a mechanic) kindly drove out to rescue us, with DH still emotional and me being all practical and a large tree poking out of the roof. Bizarre!
The tree is now planted and looks great, the car is fixed (phew) and DH is in for some SERIOUS loving tonight (he definitely needs it...and I'm hoping to 'O' either tomorrow or very soon!!) My cycle is still a complete mystery- af was 15th, but it's the one and only one I've had since m/c so who knows...?
sorry can't help with charting Angel Babies- I'm learning as I go along too.

Have a great week ladies- got everything crossed for BFP's for you all (and me) xx

[Baby Angels]

Canary.... There are so many times when I have pulled the blankets back, feet on the ground, sitting upright.........OH CHIT........ I have to do the temp thing. I quickly lay back down, as if someone is checking that I do it properley, Do my temp and then keep going again.

Nickster.... I just had this vision of you and DH (completely amuzing considering I have no clue what you look like or DH or your car) Driving along with the huge tree hanging out the car. I was amuzed unti the ex fiance came to rescue you....... LOL. I brought 2 Jasmine vines a few weeks ago and potted them up. I have tried for years to grow them, but have never succeeded. These 2 however are going crazy..... I think they are having a bit of help from up above.

[Luna]

Angel Babies,

I do not want to get your hopes up, but the month I got pregnant, I was charting and my temperatures dropped about 10 days after O and then went back up. I am charting in Faranhait, and the drop was quite significant, about half a degree, I really thought it was over.

I also read some study on the time when the implantation occurs and the rate of miscarriage. Basically, the later the implantation, the bigger the chances of miscarriage. If it implants by the day 8, the chances are only 25% I think, but after day 11 it went up to 80%. Well,mine was kind of late, so here I am. You say your dip was on day 6, so that would be a really good sign.

Keeping my fingers crossed for you.

[SamiH]

Oh gosh I hope not re implantation and m/c % - I had a big dip on 10dpo and have climbed high since then - last two days 36.95 and 36.82 - highish for me. Due tomorrow and haven't done a HPT ...
Waiting, waiting and waiting ....

[Luna]

Oh gosh, Sam, I really did not want to make it nervous. Day 10 is actually not bad at all, the risk raises sharply AFTER day 10

Here is the link to the study, I am not making it up just to make you feel better. They have a graph at the bottom. If the "number of losses" graph will scare you because it looks like it is the highest for day 10, look that also the most pregnancies implanted on day 10. So percentatgewise, it is not the highest at all.

https://content.nejm.org/cgi/reprint...796.pdf?ck=nck

[tempus moriendi]

Angel Babies: did you for real drink 20 cups of coffee a day? I'm trying to wrap my mind around that--I don't think I drink that much any kind of liquid in 2 or 3 days. I wish I knew you back then--I would have had you come here and help me clean my house LOL!

Don't rely on the temp dip for O. The temp surge tells you that it happened--your temp goes up 24 hours after O. The reason I say that is I never get a temp dip, even with my successful pregnancies. But continue with the CM checks.

[Luna]

Sam - gosh, I really did not want to scare anybody, so sorry. Day 10 is actually OK (still below 30%, they say 25% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage), the risk rises sharply AFTER day 10. I tried to post a link to that study, so you know I am not not just saying that to make you feel better, but I do not think I am allowed.

And that is true, everybody is different, some people never see a dip, and sometimes maybe it does not mean anything? I think the doctors say there is no hard evidence that it means anything. I have to say though that I have been charting for about 4 months before, and this was the only time I saw it.

One more thing about charting - I noticed that alcohol really messes up my temperatures. Please do not think I am a lush, one glass of wine the night before or even worse, one martini, makes my temps go up the next morning. But again, maybe it is just me. I really cannot hold my liquor too well. But just to be safe, I decided to stay away from the stuff around O time, or my charts will never be right.

[treelo]

Angel Babies - I have just started temping as well....and so far i havent forgotten. Although i nearly fell out of bed when it jumped from 35.8 to 39.6....needless to say i had a fever and that was the reason for the temp rise. I dont really understand it all but Dr said to give it a go.

good luck
treelo

[bettyboop]

not much happening here , good to see you all getting into charting

[STARRYSKY]

good luck with the temping girls, I was hopeless at it, I was the same with taking the pill!!
I would get out to the kitchen and be making coffee and then doh!! didnt take my temp!!
yeah, so now I have given up!
I have my opks this cycle, which I hope will work, I dont want to fork out money for a pack, theyre too bloody expensive, evn with my staff discount!
good luck to all sending everyone lots of good luck vibes.

[AJC]

Hi everyone

Hope you all had a lovely weekend - shame it's all but over and back to work tomorrow

Saw the article about coffee - have managed to give it up without any dramas but have been unable to give up chocolate and I know there is caffeine in choc. At least that gives me a good excuse to resist that freddo next time I'm in the supermarket line. Still can't cut it out completely though.

Good to see everyone is getting into the charting, I love it - have learnt so much about my cycle since I started charting. For those that haven't joined yet I highly recommend fertility friend too - it helps keep track of everything.

Bettyboop - hope you're doing ok. Doctors don't understand how when we are waiting for appointments etc the time takes ten times longer to pass. Sending you lots of positive vibes.

Good luck everyone whatever part of the cycle you may be up to.

[Canary]

Hi Guys
I am pleased to report that this week has started off a good deal calmer than last week. Phew! I hope it stays that way. Have managed to stay off tea and coffee, but I am afraid that I also have difficulty keeping off the chocolate. Maybe I'll have to stick to the white kind.

I remembered to do my temp this morning, so now I have 2 on my chart! Apparently I am CD 28, if you count the miscarriage day as CD1, so AF should be just around the corner. (I hope)

Nickster, I'm glad that your tree made it home safely in the end. It has been very windy here in the North, so I hope that the tree is bearing up OK where you are.

Sam, I've still got my fingers crossed, good luck!!

Well, I have mustered up just about emough energy to go to the gym, so can't really put it off any longer. I hope that Monday has been kind to you all.
C

[nicksterUK]

It drives me mad to be told what we can and can't eat or drink these days. As far as the coffee debate goes I reckon people have been drinking it for hundreds of years, and many countries have it as a staple part of their everyday diet and it's only recently that we've been told about its possible 'unproven' link to miscarriage. Women coffee drinkers have been drinking tea/coffee and eating chocolate for generations, and having babies successfully throughout. I mean, I have cut down on coffee (one cup in the morning now), I sometimes drink tea (which has 50% of the caffeine in coffee I believe) and have some chocolate (which has even less caffeine than tea) but I am absolutely sure that my caffeine intake has had absolutely no connection to my m/c. I feel obliged to cut down on it, just in case though.
It's just one more thing that 'they' throw at us and we spend anxious hours worrying about it, in addition to everything else that we go over in our minds that might have caused us to lose our precious babies, when actually it was probably a genetic cause more than anything else. (Sorry if it sounds like a rant, it really isn't. I just refuse to feel guilty about one single thing that has not been proven...in fact the evidence just seems to go the other way as far as I'm concerned).
I live a healthy lifestyle, eat well and keep fairly fit. My job is quite stressful, and just before Christmas was particularly stressful, so if anything (other than genetics) caused my m/c it would be that. I just strongly feel (personally) that what happened to me was meant to happen. My mind is at ease as far as 'if I could have prevented it from happening' because I truly think I couldn't. I don't know whether I'm right or wrong of course...

Flippin' 'eck I've blabbered on! Sorry
Hope you've all had a good day- anyone feeling pg yet (symptoms?) We so need a BFP to boost us all

[ll80]

Hi everyone,
Just a quick drop in before I have to rush out for the day.
I've had a quick read but still trying to catch up on all your posts, I've been having massive BellyB withdrawls.
Happily however I am now in Melbourne and the move is over for now, until we find a house to live in and get the heck out of the parents.

Nothing much happening TTC wise here, I had some spotting then a hell of a lot of sticky CM, more than I usually get, I think I may be O but I am not sure as this is the first cycle of the m/c.
I've got all sorts of things happening down there. I had some real pain last night, felt like it does when I O sometimes but worse, I have been slightly backed up because of all the iron tablets they have me on afer the m/c so could be a bit of front and back pain lol.
Oh the horror!!!
I am off the the deli today to stock up on all the lovely Italian food I have been without since living in country QLD. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm can't wait, rest assured I'll be buying cake, I'll share it's okay, you just have to find me before I eat it all

Have a good day everyone,
Hopefully I can catch up with the thread later on today.
Big :hugs: to everyone temping and waiting, sending lots of luck.

..Laura

[Katiegirl]

Hi Everyone.

Well I have had a very big weekend. Friday was not so good - I decided I wasn't preg and then got upset about it - two reasons - I was disappointed and also annoyed with myself for getting my hopes up. DH and I had a big fight in the evening, but I think we really needed to get some of it out. He admitted he often finds it hard having to listen to me whenever I need to vent etc, but he said he also knows that I need to be able to express myself. It is a difficult one. I also realised that I think I have been focussing on babies a bit too much of late, and need to try to give myself a break from it at times.

Then my best friend arrived from Syd on Saturday morning (she was coming for my DH's birthday party on Sat). It was wonderful to have her here. Sunday night was the party - and well I let loose! I have had barely any alcohol since the MC, and Sunday it was like I was rebelling against everything! I think having my 2 best friends at the party with me, helped me revert to my old single day behaviour. It was great fun, but I paid for it yesterday. And now of course I feel guilty because the first thing I thought when I woke yesterday was 'God what if I am preg'. DH told me to give myself a break, so am trying not to think about it too much. I have the naturopath this afternoon, so dreading telling her about my binge on Sunday. I never ever want to drink again, it had been a long time since I had experienced a hangover and it was really not fun. So it was fun to forget for a night what has happened, and it helped me get through seeing all our pregnant friends and babies.

So that is it for me. Angel Babies - I also had a temp dip 5 DPO and since then my temp has been rising (another dip on Friday - but still above the coverline on FF). I am now 10 DPO so not long until I hopefully will know. Though because I have not had a clear cycle since the MC in Dec (almost 2 months ago!!!), if I am not pregnant, then I really hope AF comes on time and does not having me waiting around.

I have a counsellor from SIDS and Kids coming this morning. She has been to see us once before, but this time it will just be me talking to her. She is lovely, but I am nervous.

Hope you all have a good day.

[SamiH]

Hi Luna - nah, look I agree if it is going to happen it is going to happen. I keep focussing on - new egg, new sperm so anything can happen.

One glass = being a lush LOL - I know if AF arrives today I will be having a champers or two

I am due today and no sign of af, but I have woken with a headcold which p$$es me off cos it might be the reason my temps have been a big higher .... still too scared to test today in case a BFN - my first FF chart this month and I HATE the countdown till recommended test day - cos my first says 02/02!


I drank 2 - 3 cups of espresso type coffee every day with my first two pregs (apart from morning sickness from 6 - 12wks) and my kids are pretty normal and gorgeous. I am just amazed at how much stuff you can't do - I am currently having an internal conflict as to whether I should have ham and cheese sandwich cos of the whole deli thing, even though not known if preg yet. My doc told me to eat like I was already preg - psychologically takes over though so I am just doing my usual.

Do the best we can, have a gr8 day!

Hi Katiegirl, just wanted to edit and say so sorry for your loss of Nathaniel - and special good luck in ttc again.