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Thread: TTC after Miscarriage or Loss ~ January 08

  1. #91

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    HI Everyone
    It feels like forever since i have last been to see how you are all doing.
    So i have just spent the last 30 minutes catching up on what is happening for everyone. Welcome to all our new friends i hope that it is a short visit and you have great news soon.
    Well i have had a busy weekend. My daughter had the birthday party on the weekend and man is there alot of things to organise. Of course i do more than required and we have so much food left over it is crazy.
    Sami - Goodluck and i hope we hear some news from you soon.
    Nickstar - I agree we are always so worried about what we eat and drink and if our m/c are our fault. We need to be thinking that our babies are unfortunately not healthy and there is nothing any of us can do about sadly. We all ned to grieve the loss of our babies and they will never leave our hearts but we cannot keep trying to blame ourselves.
    Katiegirl - It is great that you let your hair down and had a good night. You needed probably needed and it is great to see that you were able to catch up with great friends and have a great time. I am like you i also becoming a little focussed on having a baby but the promblem is when we want it so bad that is all you think about. My DH and i had a huge fight the other night and he told me he wasn't focussing on having a baby anymore and if it happened it happend if not it didn't. This really hurt me as he had wanted a baby so bad and now after two m/c he sounded like he was giving up. Now that everything is ok and we made up and talked things through he said that he is not focussing on it because both times have been planned and both time we have had m/c so he thinks if he doesn't think about it all will be ok. As both our previous children from other relationships were both suprises.
    I understand what he is saying but i am still going to visit the Fertility Friends website you have all been mentioning just to get some information.
    Well i am currently planning a well deserved belated honeymoon to Melbourne for the end of Feb so that we can get away and have sometime on our own without children so if this month is not the month for us keeping my fingers crossed that next month will be. We were not able ot take our 8 day honeymoon to Fiji due to our m/c 3 days before flighting out of Australia.
    Sending everyone goodluck and i am with you Nickstar we need some BFP to help boost all of us to see that it can happen especially with people that we know are in the same boat as as. Sending love to you all
    Trac


  2. #92

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    Default AHHHH I only missed one day!!!!!

    OK OK OK...... dang.... catch up time. I only missed one day....grrrrr

    Now i m going to have to do the multi thing again..... ohhh it take s it out of me.... pitty i m not "allowed" coffee to see me through....... hmmmm back in a sec.... getting a decaf

    Before I go, Nickster, I completely agree. When i was given my "pack" when I started on IVF it came with a brochure of things to avoid when pregnant. I seriously thought..... this has GOT to be a joke. Apparently Salads are bad for you unless you physically make them yourself. My thought at the time was "SALADS..... Lettuce and bloody tomatoe.... youv'e got to kidding...... get me a plastic bubble maybe i should live in that for 9 months" Then i went on a rave to DH "When I had my oldest son i ate....blah blah blah blah ...... (pretty much everything you are not allowed..... AND lots of it)" He s 18 and 6 foot 5. (well he is now.....lol 8'5 when he was bon)

    Its standard stuff, one minute something is good for you the next its not.... MODERATION..... thats what it all should be about.... and Healthy....if you can.

    And if it all really is coffee or salads or whatever else they came up with that "causes" miscarriages.... then why did I have mine? I followed the rules, every "i" dotted every 't' crosssed. I spent weeks sitting in an office at work instead of my normal work, I did everything. My way of lookin at it is simple, they wernt meant to be on this earth. Nauture took its course and my beautiful angels will fly instead of walk.

    Look Nickster.... now I m ranting...... ok going to get my decaf

  3. #93

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    Default Ok back again

    Firstly, where am I at.... well temp is still high. Today is day 29. No sign of AF but as I ve said before, even though "o" was obvious it is still my first cycle after loosing my babies...... Not going to get my hopes up..... I must say that to myself 20 times a day at the moment. I m not even going to have any tests to see. I would really love to just be expecting AF anytime and then WHAM 12 weeks later...BFP. I know If or when I get the BFP i am going to be scared beyond what I can comprehend at the moment, I wonder if I am strong enough to loose a third baby I would say I m not but then again, I would have said i m not strong enough to loose the 2 that I did, but I m still continuing on. So here, nothing has changed, either AF will arrive or BFP... holding pattern I call it.

    Ok well as for catch up time

    Trac.... Completely understand the becoming absessed with everything. I ve watched my hubby.... its a habit of mine.... i watch people. I watch how they cope with various things and try to adjust what I put onto them by how they are coping with what they are currently dealing with. I came to the conclusion, which I think I shared a while ago with everyone..... He doesnt know what I know. I dont do it to keep him in the dark or anything, my thought is that if he wanted to know something firstly he would ask or he would do what I ve done and look it up. He is not me, his personality is not mine. Also I dont go into much detail about "o" my thought there is that I dont want him to think he is just a sperm bank. I m trying to i suppose take the pressure of him. Now I know there are a lot of people who think it should be shared and I m not disagreeing, what I am saying is that by doing it the way I m doing it our relationship has stayed one of husband and wife instead of want a be parents. Our sex life is still our sex life......not just BD and that keeps him happy which makes me happy.

    Katiegirl.... Hope you get a lot of support from your councellor from SIDS.

    Laura Laura Laura....... Glad your move went well...... hmmmm cakes in Melbourne ohhhhhhh there is one street down there.... cant remember what its called, has luna park in it..... OMG i walked down that street with my tonuge hanging our of my mouth....I love European cakes.....OHHHHHHH

    Canary..... Is that 2 days in a row on your chart now ....lol..... are you going to go for 3,........ Isnt it funny how difficult it is to get into a new habbit. I sat my thermometer infront of my alarm clock.

    treelo..... if my temp had peaked like that I would have been on here going.....HELP......LOL I probably wouldnt have even considered a fever.

    luna..... thank you for sending the link...... depending on which day is the actual "o" day, my chart says it was over the 18th and 19th that would make the spike down around day 7 or 8 which would then make me now post "o" 10 or 11..... Like i ve said, I m not going to get my hopes up.... just keep temping and keepgoing.

    tempus.... ok... had me laughing..... Yes I did used to have 20 plus a day. Basically when i made a coffee I made 2 at a time. I would sit them next to my computer and as I worked i drank coffee..... I would do 2 at a time to save time of not having to get up to make another. Then when I had drunk them both I would get up and make another 2 and so on through the day and night..... as for house work.... hmmm dont thing that would EVER be something i put my hand up to volunteer for. So your on your own there..... lol

    Goodness there are to many posts to catch up on so I do hope I havent missed anyone.

    Great Positive Vibes sending to you all...... go BABY go BABY go !!!!!!!!

  4. #94

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    Default

    i have missed you all so much, i am trying not to think about TTC, as i have been so gumpy and sad , is nearly been 100 days since my D&C.

  5. #95

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    Default bettyboop

    The things we wait for and the things that we go through, we find the patients some where but I have no idea how we do. My thoughts are with you.

  6. #96

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    hi everyone,
    hope youa re all well, I am counting the days till I can poas, opk stick that is, hehehe!!

    Beaksie, you still around chickie??? lizjessie?? lsb?? anyone?? what happened to all my old friends??

    treelo, I hope you are keeping that chin up, the kiddies are back at school this week arent they?

    I dont mean to offend any of you girls, I am glad that we are all here to support one another, sadly there are so many of us.....looking forward to getting to know you all a bit more too.
    goodluck, fingers crossed for all, and hopefully sending af off to bettyboop.

  7. #97

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    Hi Canary...thank you for the welcome!

    bettyboop...I feel "some" of your pain as it has been 42 days post op for me and no sign of AF...I wish I had patience BUT I really just want to be pregnant!

  8. #98

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    Hi all- hope it's been a good day xx

    BettyB- I'm gobsmacked that you've been left like this, with tests after tests and keep being fobbed off to wait for weeks on end. I am so, so sorry :hugs: Can you not ask/request an 'intervention' medication to kick start your cycle? Personally I'd change my bloody doctor first! (can't swear but would love to call him a few choice names, the unfeeling ******!!) I know there are things that can be done- like going on the pill or a course of Provera (although some people don't approve of that one). Unfortunately it would mean 6-8 weeks of definite 'non-pregnancy' (but maybe that would be a relief and take the pressure off a little because at least you know exactly what's going on iykwim?) You will see af, and chart your calender and cycle during that time and then you can plan for 'o' and af with certainty. I don't know hun, willing af to come for you Sooooooooo much! You too Smilanatu

    Angel Babies- Hi, hope you are well- good girl for drinking Decaf (me too!)
    Katiegirl- Well done you! (I did it too) and you're right, it's such a blessed relief to feel 'normal' just for a little while. good luck with the hangover
    Trac- wow, so jealous, but happy for you on finally getting your honeymoon! It sounds like you both could do with some time together away from everything- DH and I have had some horrid rows lately, all for exactly the same reasons as you. Never mind xx Have a smashing time, and wishing you lots of jigginess with DH Hope you come back pg!! (or at least with renewed energy lol!)
    Laura- welcome back, thanks for the cake (I stole it while you weren't looking!) Glad the move went well x

    Right, I'm just having a 'timeout' moment before I go and help DS with his Homework and then I've got a presentation to sort out for work. Am hoping for an early night, but we'll see...
    Hugs to all x

  9. #99

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    Hi Everyone,
    I cant believe that it has only been a day since I last posted, so much going on!

    I am really sorry if I upset anyone by bringing up the coffee issue. I also belive that there was nothing any of us could have done to prevent the losses that we experienced. I think that taking control of something, by charting my cycle or watching my caffeine intake, gives me a little bit of hope that I can make things better next time.

    BettyB, so sorry that you are left waiting and waiting. I dont have any words of wisdom to make the waiting any easier, just wanted to say that I am thinking of you. Goodluck.
    Laura, glad that the move is over. Thanks for the cake!
    AngelB, Yes! I now have 3 consecutive days on my FF chart, although it is only really for practice, as I think that AF will be here soon as I am getting cramps already. I have also put the thermometer next to my bed. I find that measuring my temp gives me the excuse to stay in bed for an extra few mins..!
    Katie, glad that the party went well and that you had a good time. Your friends sound like really great mates, they knew just what you needed!

    Well, I'm off to have dinner now. Take care all!
    C

  10. #100

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    Morning everyone

    I have been here only a very short time, but have been fortunate. I have had 2 full cycles since my D & C so maybe some of the rumour that it cleans you out and helps fertility is true.

    I got a BFP last night with 6pm wee, and again this morning. makes me 4wks 1 day. Going to docs today to get bloods done.

    It is only the start of another journey, and trying to be positive that it will all work out.

    Hubby says he is not going to even look at me when I O in the future

    Good luck to you all
    Last edited by SamiH; January 30th, 2008 at 08:39 AM.

  11. #101

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    Congratulations SamiH. It is so wonderful to see a BFP in this thread! It gives me hope.

    Well I went to the naturopath yesterday afternoon for my 2nd visit. Besides my bender on Sunday night , I have been good at keeping to what she instructed. She seemed happy enough. Though when she looked at my temps, she said that looking at the mucous it looked like I O'ed on CD15 but my temps did not support that. So felt a bit deflated after that. She also thought I should not be TTCing yet, but I told her I was just doing what felt right. She seemed to understand. She said that if AF had not arrived by CD 32 to test, but I know that I am not pregnant...so waiting now for AF. Just to give me a boost, I really hope AF comes on time. I am over waiting for a proper cycle - it has been almost 2 months since the D&C and I want to at least know what is happening with my body.

    Also - in regards to getting your AF kickstarted (and not wanting meds), I did ask her if there was anything we could do if my AF didn't arrive and she was positive about this. So maybe look at natural alternatives to help get your cycle going and AF.

    The counsellor from SIDS came yesterday morning (it was a big day for me). She is lovely and very supportive. It is the 2nd time she has come over, but this time it was just me speaking to her. My DH and mother both wanted me to talk to her because they feel I allow myself to get too negative and fixate on how long the year ahead looks. The best part is...she told me this is normal and a natural part of grieving. She really made me feel okay with how I was handling things, and reminded me that we only lost Nathaniel 2 months ago. I know that my DH and mum worry about me, but I think sometimes they don't give me credit for all the good things I am doing, and just worry about the times that I am down. So I feel really good now, as I don't have to worry that I am not coping etc. She really helped me see that I am doing the best I can.

    Hope you are all well. I am still too tired from Sunday to be able to do personals - my memory is not good enough today to remember what everyone wrote!
    Last edited by Katiegirl; January 30th, 2008 at 09:02 AM. Reason: typo

  12. #102

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    just dropping in to congratulate Sami!! hoping we will have some more BFPs in here soon. i have a pounding headache. arghh. hope everyone is well.

    Barbara

  13. #103

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    Fabulous news Sami - so happy for you.

  14. #104

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    Canary: good for you sticking to your healthy resolutions (always easier said than done!) And no, I?m not offended by the coffee stuff. After all, we?re here to share information, too, not just emotional support (although that?s important too)

    nickserUK: IKWYM. I ate 1 or 2 tuna melts a day during my second pregnancy because I craved them. Now they say fish has mercury which can cause autism. But my daughter is healthy (thank God). Really, there are only indirect correlations. I just like to stack my odds.

    ll80: congrats on the move, good luck finding a house! Fertility signals in the first month or two after MC can be really conflicting. Try not to sweat it.

    Katiegirl: IKWYM about how it?s hard not to obsess. Fertility becomes so huge when it?s difficult. Rant here. We don?t get tired of it!
    Personally, I trust temps to tell me when I O more than mucus. The reason being that you can have CM before, during and after O. Besides, I tried Billings (CM-only NFP) and thought it was very hard to interpret.

    SamiH: That?s wonderful! I?ll be praying hard for you!

    Trac73: I do the too much food thing, too. I?m afraid my guests will go hungryLOL! enjoy your trip.

    Angel Babies: good luck, whatever you decide re testing!

  15. #105

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    Default Congrats

    SAMI SAMI SAMI........ I am over the moon for you. Felt like the BFP were on hoidays from this thread...... Now we know they are back

    We all know the difficulty now, and I pray that everything goes smoothly.

    CONGRATS

    Quote Originally Posted by SamiH View Post
    Morning everyone

    I have been here only a very short time, but have been fortunate. I have had 2 full cycles since my D & C so maybe some of the rumour that it cleans you out and helps fertility is true.

    I got a BFP last night with 6pm wee, and again this morning. makes me 4wks 1 day. Going to docs today to get bloods done.

    It is only the start of another journey, and trying to be positive that it will all work out.

    Hubby says he is not going to even look at me when I O in the future

    Good luck to you all

  16. #106

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    Default Katiegirl

    Katiegirl.... I know there is a difference in me since loosing my angels and there will be a difference in you and everyone else in here. Our babies died..... thats it simply. As Mothers we will Grieve..... thats how it works. Its staight forward and simple. DONT feel bad at all about the fact you are grieving. Nathaniel is your son who passed away. The fact that you can get out of bed each day and go about most of your daily activities after loosing your baby is proof of the internal strength you have. Be proud of how far you have come. I know I am and I m sure the ladies are proud of how far they have come as well. Every day is a new day, every day you will be able to breath a little easier. Every day you will grieve but every day you will learn how to cope just a little better than you did the previous day.

    In here we chat, sometimes laugh, help each other on our journeys forward but that does not stop the simple fact that we are all mothers grieving for the loss of our children. In here it is just a little easier to deal with it because you know every one understands and everyone is going through the same thing and noone is judging anyone. WE ALL KNOW THE PAIN!

    HUGE HUGS KATIEGIRL and well done on how far you have come so far!

  17. #107

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    Default Pair of Shoes

    A Pair of Shoes

    I am wearing a pair of shoes.
    They are ugly shoes.
    Uncomfortable shoes.
    I hate my shoes.
    Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair.
    Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step.
    Yet, I continue to wear them.
    I get funny looks wearing these shoes.
    I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs.
    They never talk about my shoes.
    To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable.
    To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.
    But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.
    I now realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes.
    There are many pairs in this world.
    Some woman are like me and ache daily as they try and walk in them.
    Some have learned how to walk in them so they don?t hurt quite as much.
    Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by before they think about how much they hurt.
    No woman deserves to wear these shoes.
    Yet, because of these shoes I am a stronger woman.
    These shoes have given me the strength to face anything.
    They have made me who I am.
    I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child.

  18. #108

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    Default Going Now

    Ok... well i m going now...I only logged on to quickly read how you were all going.... and could not go once i ready Sami s and Katiegirls.... so i had to reply.... big hugs to both of you.... as for my normal post......I ll be back later today to catch up with everyone.... have a great day.

    PS the poem below is not mine, but it says it all so well.

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