TTC after Miscarriage or Loss ~ September 07 #2

[treelo]

the suspense is driving me nuts !!!!! I dont know how you do it !!!

[Penny]

Mammal and Satya - thanks for checking out my chart! I also think that I ovulated around day 13 or 14 rather than later in the cycle. It's good to get a second opinion . Satya, I agree with you that the Maybe Baby doesn't work well. I don't know WHY I bother at all, it just adds to the confusion...
Shoegal - let us know how you are getting on

Hi to Treelo, Lee, LisJessie, Charlie23 and everyone else I missed - have a good weekend!!

[Sequoia]

Shoegal - let us know how you are getting on

Hi Penny, thanks for asking. NT scan went really well, 1:13918 so very pleased with that. Scan was amazing, I bawled the whole way through. Very hard for sonographer to do a scan when I am hic-cupping all the time.

Hope you are going well.

Lots of love.

SG
xo

[mammal]

Oh Shoegal, I'm so happy for you. You made it past twelve weeks. YEA!

[treelo]

wooooohooooooooooo !!!! awsome stuff shoegal


hugs
treelo

[mammal]

Crap! I was just cruising along, getting ready to enter my fertile phase in my stupidly-long cycle. I was expecting ovulation Tuesday or Thursday of next week, but thinking that Vitex might move it up a bit. Let me emphasize that: A BIT. But as I entered my last two temps, FF just gave me a solid coverline last Wednesday. EEE!

I’m thinking that this might be one of those months with the “Your new data input has modified your pattern enough for Fertility Friend to re-assess your interpretation” message (it happens a lot for me), but still, it’s thrown me for a whirl. I’ve had only negative OPKs and none of the other typical signs, so I think there is a good chance I’ll ovulate later, but I’m more struck by how much my heart sank (not just into my stomach; it felt like it created crater beneath the floor). I’m normally fairly laid back, but TTC is making me crazy. I’m starting to wonder if this is one of those things that I have to stop thinking about so much about before it will happen for me.

This whole journey for me has been an exercise in control… or, rather, how much control I lack over what my body does. I have some long term issues there, demons that have been well-behaved for many years now after years of struggling to understand them, beat them into submission, exorcise them. Maybe instead of thinking less about this, I need to scratch off some scabs and dig back into the psychological issues? Argh.

Maybe I should just sleep on it and see what tomorrow’s temp is like. Perhaps I need to re-assess my own interpretation.

[Penny]

Oh Shoegal, that is fantastic!!!! I am very happy for you! I would have cried too....
Mammal - I know how you feel Sometimes I am ready to throw the whole temping and testing thing in... But then I feel even less in the loop of what's going on in my body.
Kbowman - if you are lurking: have the school holidays started in NSW as well? Enjoy the break and fingers crossed for catching the egg this month!
Treelo - I think I can join you in the tww now, i have had 3 high temps so now it's just waiting....

We are going on holidays to the sunshine coast tomorrow and I will leave my thermometer and everthing behind except the Vitex, yeah!!! I probably won't have an opportunity to log on and i wish everyone a BFP for this cycle!

[treelo]

woohoo you can keep me sane Penny !!!!!! like anyone could come close to doing that ...NOT.

Im abit confused - im either 4 or 6 DPO because last af came two days early and the opk put my ovulation two days early this cycle, so i dont know whats doing..... I wouldnt say i have sore BB but i get a funny sensation in them every now and then. I had some mild stabbing type pain in my lower side abdo this morning that lasted about half an hour, and a cracken headache for the last two days....and are these three little symptoms doing my head in......MOST DEFINATLY. How does one stop reading into every little sign ??? please let me know if you find the answer.

Mammal - Sorry its all doing your head in....i tried to do the temping thing but i could never remember to take it until i had already gotten up. doh !! I just used OPK for the first time and im just checking cm and hoping this will be enough.... good luck sweety, try not to stress too much.

Kerry - Thanks for the chat hun, hugs to you.

Satya - hope your doing ok ?

LJ - Sorry AF came..hugs to you

well i better get some housework done before the day ends on me !!!


hugs to all
treelo

[mammal]

Hang in there, Treelo, just one more week left till testing!

Penny—hope you have a great time.

LJ—sorry about AF. Have you and DF set a date for the wedding?

Satya—how’s it going?

I’m feeling a bit more together today. It’s pretty clear that I did ovulate, but I still think FF is a day or two off. If so, hope is not lost for this cycle. I guess I’ll just have to wait for two weeks to find out. I keep reminding myself that patience and flexibility are requirements of parenthood, so I’m just honing my skills!

I’m still shocked that Vitex shifted my cycle so quickly. I wonder if that’s a good thing, though, since I didn’t have a detectable LH surge. Maybe it just shifted some of the hormones and not others? I have to laugh that I was feeling so out of control when it was actually the result of something I did to my body. It wasn’t that the results were unpredictable, just that I didn’t believe the prediction would apply to me.

[littlescottishboy]

Mammal - sorry i haven't been on here to get back to you earlier about the Vitex. Yes, it did wonders for me! It only took a month this time around after my recent miscarriage and then the next month (this month) my O time had shifter five days earlier, which was great! I took it initially after two miscarriages and then five more months of trying for my son, then took Vitex for one month (June 2005) and fell preg that month with little Angus!!! So i am hoping for some more good things to come from my little bottle of Vitex soon!

Quick question on the Vitex - does anyone know, are you meant to stop taking it like "cold turkey" if you find out you are pregnant? Or are you meant to keep taking it and slowly drop off over a week or so? (Can't remember what i did during Angus' pregnancy).

LJ - sorry AF came hun. What a cow.

Penny - have a super time!

Shoegal - hooray! Awesome news about your scan going so well.

Treelo - glad u gave the OPK a go - hope it works for you (temping is more my thing but i hope this really works for you hun).

My news- -none really! AF is due on Thursday. I have been getting pseudo-pregnancy symptoms, like major hunger and tiredness and kinda sore BB and very grumpy sometimes. Could be PG but also could be just my brain wishing so much to be PG!!! Will let you know what happens over the next week or so - fingers crossed!

Big hi's and hugs to all of you. Mwah!

[satya]

I'm feeling really sad today. I realised I would have exactly 8 weeks to go until my due date had the first miscarriage this year not happened. I should have a big belly now. It only dawned on me when I heard that a work colleague is due Boxing Day. I then sat down and worked it out... 8 weeks to the day. I was sitting at my desk with tears rolling down my face. Then the abusive phone calls started from my ex. That only made me feel worse. Not only do I have to deal with this due date coming up but I also have to deal with the fact that I am not going to be having any children at all whilst dealing with a psycho ex. I'm 41 now, there is not enough time for me to meet someone, fall in love, get secure enough in a relationship to have a child and then go through more miscarriages until I get a successful pregnancy (50/50 chance at my age). It hit me like a ton of bricks.

I'm not sure what would have been harder - being pregnant and going through all this drama with the ex or not being pregnant. At least this way I have a chance of keeping my house. If I was still pregnant I would have to sell up and leave my job and go on benefits and I would never be able to cut the ties with the ex. OK, there's the silver lining, this way I don't ever have to have anything to do with him once he collects his furniture. That makes me feel somewhat better.

Sorry for the selfish post ladies.

[Acria]

Satya honey, it's not a selfish post. You're having a tough time at the moment, and you're going through a stage where you have work out a new reality for yourself, it's not easy. It is perfectly understandable that there are going to be times when you need to cry, and really need to cocoon yourself and find calm, and comfort and hopefully, some peace.

Post 'selfish posts' anytime. We're all here to support one another, especially at times like this. Hugs to you.

Lisa xx

[satya]

Oh and just to make my day even better I just got some evil stomach cramps. TMI warning. Rushed to the loo to see if going number 2 would fix the pain, it did but I had bleeding in both spots if you know what I mean. It's only CD22 so it would be way early for AF, particularly seeing I don't think it happened until CD17 this cycle which means I'm not due for at least a week. Pain's gone, bleeding seems to have as well. This cycle is just getting weirder and weirder. Does it warrant a visit to the docs or am I just being paranoid.

[missbelinda77]

Satya - Just wanted to drop in and give you some :hugs: We have all felt the need to have a selfish post in here, at least you know we all understand where you are coming from and we never mind.

Maybe see how the stomach cramps and spotting is going tomorrow, and if still around - check it out with the dr, to make sure all is ok.

to everyone else - hope you are all travelling well and thinking lots of positive thoughts about that BFP that is coming your way.

[Jayney]

So some help here:

Dr just called to say all blood work was normal Except :

My estrogen level is high which can be related to ovarian function. And lead to M/C

Any idea on if Diet can help drop Estrogen Levels. It is supposed to be 80 and it is 200.

[Lee]

Hi ladies,

Hope you are all well...... and wish we were all PREGNANT!!!!!!!!

Satya - hugs, still thinking of you. Hope you are feeling better soon, did your cramps ease off? It's probably all the stress you have been under. It's amazing how our bodies react to grief. Take good care of Number 1.

I'm very happy today!! I went for my 6 week ob appointment yesterday. Everything has healed and is "normal". He said my AF would generally show up at 6 weeks. Got home from the appointment, to my happy surprise there was AF, 6 weeks to the day since d&c. And today, she's gearing up to full flow - yuck - as I think it will be a very heavy one. Have just stocked up on essential items and plan a couple of quiet days around home. Anyway, at least now I know where I'm at, and in 2 weeks time, we can really have another crack at it, so to speak.

So, I'm even looking forward to being in the dreaded 2ww.

Shall be lurking around.

Lee xo

[treelo]

Lee - So wonderful to hear you sounding so positive. I hope and pray that it wont take long for you to be pregnant again. Good luck hun, where all here for you cheering you on.

Satya - Hun i dont know what to say except that you pop into my thoughts often during the day and i hope your doing ok. I would think that if the bleeding and cramps dont settle down quickly that you should get it checked out. My hope and pray some happiness comes your way soon sweety. :hugs:

Well im having some slight sypmtoms (symptoms of what i dont know) I normally go for a walk with a friend every tuesday and thursday morning. Its a long walk - about 1.5 hours, up and down hills pushing the pram. Normally when i come home, i get stuck into the house work. Today i got home and felt the need to lay down, as soon as i did that i fell asleep. I was exhausted !! Luckily the kids just watched a movie, cause i wasnt waking up for anyone !! Slightly tingly BB every now and then and the weekend headache that only left monday. Of course i could be just getting the flu or some other dreaded bug but i dont know......mmmmm 6dpo and im already driving myself batty.... bought 2 more hpt today because i just know i wont hold out with the one i have left from last month.
Will have to order some more from LC if i dont get a BFP this month. !!

hugs
treelo

[satya]

I had a little more cramping this morning (not as bad) but it's stopped now. Also had some brown spotting this morning which has stopped.

Just had another BM & once again I have bleeding. Definitely only from the vag. I've read that you can have this happen with endo & also with pregnancy. I have done a couple of HPTs over the last few weeks seeing I've had such an odd cycle (and have had sore BB's on and off) but they were BFN's. Have been a little unsure if I should still have the lap but with this going on I guess I should get it done just in case something is wrong in there.

Treelo - I hope they are pg symptoms.

Lee - glad AF arrived.

Jayney - My estrogen levels were also high both times I had them tested but my gyno said that wasn't an issue. I don't remember what my levels were but they were off the usual scale, that much I do remember.